What is the leading internet web browser in Antarctica? Firefox. At one point Firefox had a 100% usage rate in Antarctica. I think the US should probably be thinking about ways to prevent this monopolist from dictating all terms regarding web based tools in the great white south.
Spurs qualified for the knock out stage as the group winner this week with their tie of FC Twente (3-3). It was a spirited game, but it left me hoping that 'arry will find some defensive strength during the winter transfer window. We consistently lose people on the wings and could use a good, more consistent defensive four.
We have created a new award at the Chapman derivative house, called the Spirit of Christmas Award. In general, it has created a very compelling competition between the children to appear nicest to each other (even when they are not actually being very nice) - although sometimes they are actually being nice.
Creighton's basketball team is not very good. They stand around on offense and have some of the worst defensive rotations and strategy that I have ever seen in a major college basketball team. They play a powder defense without clear focal points for collapse. Its awful and highly depressing.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
On poop
My wife claims that people don't want to hear about other people's kid's poop stories. I disagree.
In defense of my wife, she has premised a corollary - people with kids are more willing to listen to other people's stories if they are allowed to tell their own kid's poop stories. I still disagree.
Generally, I have found as a parent that telling stories of the times that my kids have done awful, ridiculous or otherwise bad things are actually the stories that most people appear to engage in most fully. Specifically, people don't want to hear about how delightful your children were at church. They want to hear the story about how Martha got lost and ran down the middle aisle shouting for her parents. Or the time that the priest actually asked you to leave. These are the stories upon which universal laughs are built.
Thus, poop. While everyone poops, the art of telling a really funny story is knowing that its a little bit off. The reason that jokes work is that people don't necessarily see the punchline coming - but they know its going to be funny. Poop stories are the same way. When poop is involved, you know it has to be seriously ridiculous to deserve a mention. Nobody tells the following story and expects to get a laugh.
My one month old pooped yesterday. It was yellow, slimy and disgusting.
Instead...tell the story like this:
As new parents, Cheryl and I could not actually tell the other person to do anything by themselves. Cheryl and Tom did the baby's laundry together. Cheryl and Tom breastfed together. Cheryl and Tom changed diapers together. Thus, when James was about one month old, Cheryl and Tom were changing James' diaper. While we were newbies at the whole parenting thing, James had managed to live a month under our parentage, and thus, we figured that we were prepared for just about anything. We were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. So as luck would have it (and never has a truer phrase been written) Tom drew the short straw and was the one actually executing the diaper change. So, I was to the side of James and Cheryl was talking to me at the end of our changing table. Thus, Cheryl and I could make newly minted parent eye contact and discuss such compelling topics as which type of baby rash ointment we should use on this diaper change. cute, I know.
So, as I was changing James, he grunted quietly and then his sphincter contracted slightly. After that, its unclear exactly what transpired. What I can say is that I had a good seat and still could not clearly describe the indescribable. Basically, James unleashed a 50 kiloton mustard bomb on his mother - hitting her squarely in the midsection. This mustard bomb was new baby poop - yellow, slimy and disgusting. It was seedy, and it was all over Cheryl's shirt (or as luck would have it my shirt since she was actually wearing one of my shirts that day).
We both stood horrified in shock for approximately 10 seconds. And then we both took big, gasping breaths as if we had just seen the unthinkable (which we had). I am not sure that either of us spoke. All I can remember is the desire to get that seedy scene and particularly the vinegary smell out of my brain - but alas, it has not happened yet. Today we refer to this as the mustard bomb incident and it will live in infamy in this house.
To this day, we have never had a child repeat this explosion with the velocity and targeting of James. We have learned our lesson. We change diapers in a prepared state with a clean diaper underneath the soiled diaper, ready to be moved into the appropriate position if that sphincter so much as twitches funny.
Now, that's a poop story that even non-parents can appreciate. Same story, better build up and explosive climax. So, as a non-parent or parent, how do you feel regarding other people's kids poops? Never? Only when its well-told? Always up for a good pooper story? Please comment and let me know what you think.
In defense of my wife, she has premised a corollary - people with kids are more willing to listen to other people's stories if they are allowed to tell their own kid's poop stories. I still disagree.
Generally, I have found as a parent that telling stories of the times that my kids have done awful, ridiculous or otherwise bad things are actually the stories that most people appear to engage in most fully. Specifically, people don't want to hear about how delightful your children were at church. They want to hear the story about how Martha got lost and ran down the middle aisle shouting for her parents. Or the time that the priest actually asked you to leave. These are the stories upon which universal laughs are built.
Thus, poop. While everyone poops, the art of telling a really funny story is knowing that its a little bit off. The reason that jokes work is that people don't necessarily see the punchline coming - but they know its going to be funny. Poop stories are the same way. When poop is involved, you know it has to be seriously ridiculous to deserve a mention. Nobody tells the following story and expects to get a laugh.
My one month old pooped yesterday. It was yellow, slimy and disgusting.
Instead...tell the story like this:
As new parents, Cheryl and I could not actually tell the other person to do anything by themselves. Cheryl and Tom did the baby's laundry together. Cheryl and Tom breastfed together. Cheryl and Tom changed diapers together. Thus, when James was about one month old, Cheryl and Tom were changing James' diaper. While we were newbies at the whole parenting thing, James had managed to live a month under our parentage, and thus, we figured that we were prepared for just about anything. We were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. So as luck would have it (and never has a truer phrase been written) Tom drew the short straw and was the one actually executing the diaper change. So, I was to the side of James and Cheryl was talking to me at the end of our changing table. Thus, Cheryl and I could make newly minted parent eye contact and discuss such compelling topics as which type of baby rash ointment we should use on this diaper change. cute, I know.
So, as I was changing James, he grunted quietly and then his sphincter contracted slightly. After that, its unclear exactly what transpired. What I can say is that I had a good seat and still could not clearly describe the indescribable. Basically, James unleashed a 50 kiloton mustard bomb on his mother - hitting her squarely in the midsection. This mustard bomb was new baby poop - yellow, slimy and disgusting. It was seedy, and it was all over Cheryl's shirt (or as luck would have it my shirt since she was actually wearing one of my shirts that day).
We both stood horrified in shock for approximately 10 seconds. And then we both took big, gasping breaths as if we had just seen the unthinkable (which we had). I am not sure that either of us spoke. All I can remember is the desire to get that seedy scene and particularly the vinegary smell out of my brain - but alas, it has not happened yet. Today we refer to this as the mustard bomb incident and it will live in infamy in this house.
To this day, we have never had a child repeat this explosion with the velocity and targeting of James. We have learned our lesson. We change diapers in a prepared state with a clean diaper underneath the soiled diaper, ready to be moved into the appropriate position if that sphincter so much as twitches funny.
Now, that's a poop story that even non-parents can appreciate. Same story, better build up and explosive climax. So, as a non-parent or parent, how do you feel regarding other people's kids poops? Never? Only when its well-told? Always up for a good pooper story? Please comment and let me know what you think.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Nice Weekend
Over the weekend, one tradition died. The Chapman's prime did not draw secret santas. Instead, the Chapman derivative 3631 did. This was a passing of the torch of kinds. But, I am still sad. That being said, while I can buy gifts for my siblings, honestly, they probably all (except Mary) have more disposable income than I do - so I am not sure what interesting gifts I could give anyways.
I am unsure how to handle the parenting thing with my kids regarding secret santas. James bought a hideous gift for his sister, Martha, and more importantly, I paid $15 for a bad gift. Good or bad? Not sure. Not sure it matters either.
So, I drew one of my daughters and not one of my siblings. While I am sad, I am also incredibly excited about having a new family tradition. I like seeing how my kid's brains work. In his quest for a gift, James let the excitement of the situation take over his reason. He knew the gift that he was buying for Martha was not the one that he wanted to get for her, but he seemed unable to separate the desire for giving a really good gift for buying something right now. I don't think that this a cultural problem. I think that this is probably more of an age issue and an inability to build patience. James, in particular, struggles with patience under buying pressure. His brother, Aidan, who is two years younger, is already a better, more patient shopper.
Surprisingly, we had a tremendous weekend. The boys played Civilization for a good portion of the weekend and the girls followed the adults around. I say surprisingly because almost every long weekend of this type leads to really bad behavior by about day three. Instead, the kids were actively helping on day four in the afternoon. Whatever we did this weekend really worked because all of the children were terrific.
I am unsure how to handle the parenting thing with my kids regarding secret santas. James bought a hideous gift for his sister, Martha, and more importantly, I paid $15 for a bad gift. Good or bad? Not sure. Not sure it matters either.
So, I drew one of my daughters and not one of my siblings. While I am sad, I am also incredibly excited about having a new family tradition. I like seeing how my kid's brains work. In his quest for a gift, James let the excitement of the situation take over his reason. He knew the gift that he was buying for Martha was not the one that he wanted to get for her, but he seemed unable to separate the desire for giving a really good gift for buying something right now. I don't think that this a cultural problem. I think that this is probably more of an age issue and an inability to build patience. James, in particular, struggles with patience under buying pressure. His brother, Aidan, who is two years younger, is already a better, more patient shopper.
Surprisingly, we had a tremendous weekend. The boys played Civilization for a good portion of the weekend and the girls followed the adults around. I say surprisingly because almost every long weekend of this type leads to really bad behavior by about day three. Instead, the kids were actively helping on day four in the afternoon. Whatever we did this weekend really worked because all of the children were terrific.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Needed Some Encouragement
Well, I'll try to blog more often based on my little sister's encouragement.
Here are some key things that you should know since July:
1. My wife, Cheryl, had a baby. Her name is Evelyn Gloria Chapman, and she is our sixth child.
2. We have a new in-home au pair from Brazil. Her name is Elis.
3. Mary left for Antarctica.
4. Spurs qualified for the knock-out stage of the Champions League
5. The Royals continue to suck.
6. I won my first soccer game as a coach. We were 2-5, which is not horrible when your previous record is 0-14. So, my collective coaching record for my children in soccer is 2-19. I should be fired.
7. Harry Potter 7.1 came out. It is possibly the best movie of the bunch - both in terms of sticking to the books and being generally fun to watch.
8. I am starting a professional blog so that I can write stuff here that has nothing to do with work.
So, here we go again.
Here are some key things that you should know since July:
1. My wife, Cheryl, had a baby. Her name is Evelyn Gloria Chapman, and she is our sixth child.
2. We have a new in-home au pair from Brazil. Her name is Elis.
3. Mary left for Antarctica.
4. Spurs qualified for the knock-out stage of the Champions League
5. The Royals continue to suck.
6. I won my first soccer game as a coach. We were 2-5, which is not horrible when your previous record is 0-14. So, my collective coaching record for my children in soccer is 2-19. I should be fired.
7. Harry Potter 7.1 came out. It is possibly the best movie of the bunch - both in terms of sticking to the books and being generally fun to watch.
8. I am starting a professional blog so that I can write stuff here that has nothing to do with work.
So, here we go again.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Manchester City
I have two things on my mind today. First, it is really hard to find books about Brazil that are not general Latin American histories. I am interested in this topic for many reasons, but the primary reason for its timeliness is that my family's new au pair, Elis, will be joining the family on August 12. She is from a rural part of Sao Paulo state. So, I am trying to find out more about her country. I was hoping to find an author that writes like Julia Alvarez about the Dominican Republic - where there is history, historical context - but also a plot based story line. I would have accepted a Bill Bryson-esque funny travel book about the country. But, I can't find anything other than histories that talk about macroeconomic or currency crises. There is nothing about Brazil since its constitution was ratified in 1988...that's right 1988 - within my life time and with no one apparently wearing a wig. So, I have resorted to reading the Economist's section on Latin America and simply speculating on past activities. So, for example, Brazil has started to give soft money to foreign powers to increase its prestige in the developing world. I think that this is clearly a continuation of their wild espoinage activities of the 1990s. They were so deep underground - that no one even saw them - so now they have been forced to actually make people aware that they care about the rest of the world - politically. So, it is only a matter of time before we see Tom Clancy writing about the Power to our south and its nuclear aspirations. I already have some great plot lines and am craving an opportunity to do research in Copacabana.
More importantly, why does it seem like every mention in popular American culture of Brazil is about four topics - soccer, Amazon rainforest, ethanol, or economic crises. For example, my au pair has expressed a desire to drink her favorite soda - Guarana Antarctica - not available in Omaha. Not available despite being the second most popular drink in a country of $193 million that shares our times zones. This country is larger than Italy, the United Kingdom and France - combined. It has 14 cities with more than 1 million people. It is the fifth largest country in the world. How do we not have their best domestic soda; we still have Tab for crying out loud.
Some other tid-bits. They speak Portuguese. In fact, there are more Portuguese speakers in Sao Paulo then in Portugal (that would be a country).
The flight time from Houston to Rio de Janeiro is roughly the same as it is to Paris and London. Oh and by the way, that holds true for Miami also because Brazil extends much further to the east of the U.S. And Rio de Janeiro, by the way, is almost as far away from the U.S. as is possible in Brazil.
How is this possible? Why do we as a country know so little about a very large country that is relatively nearby. I blame my brother, Jim. No real reason - just because he is there.
So on to point 2.
Second, my brother's (Jim) quest to find an EPL team - and thus the irony that I would write about something that is clearly Jim's fault just before offering yet more good natured, brotherly advice. I have attached a link to a posting on espn.com about Manchester City's efforts to buy an EPL title. As a mercenary fan who is only followishing, this appears to be the perfect team. There are recognizable stars (Tevez, both Toures, Daniel Silva, Robinho (Brazilian)) and will be interesting story lines. I say go for it Jim. Manchester City should be your team.
More importantly, why does it seem like every mention in popular American culture of Brazil is about four topics - soccer, Amazon rainforest, ethanol, or economic crises. For example, my au pair has expressed a desire to drink her favorite soda - Guarana Antarctica - not available in Omaha. Not available despite being the second most popular drink in a country of $193 million that shares our times zones. This country is larger than Italy, the United Kingdom and France - combined. It has 14 cities with more than 1 million people. It is the fifth largest country in the world. How do we not have their best domestic soda; we still have Tab for crying out loud.
Some other tid-bits. They speak Portuguese. In fact, there are more Portuguese speakers in Sao Paulo then in Portugal (that would be a country).
The flight time from Houston to Rio de Janeiro is roughly the same as it is to Paris and London. Oh and by the way, that holds true for Miami also because Brazil extends much further to the east of the U.S. And Rio de Janeiro, by the way, is almost as far away from the U.S. as is possible in Brazil.
How is this possible? Why do we as a country know so little about a very large country that is relatively nearby. I blame my brother, Jim. No real reason - just because he is there.
So on to point 2.
Second, my brother's (Jim) quest to find an EPL team - and thus the irony that I would write about something that is clearly Jim's fault just before offering yet more good natured, brotherly advice. I have attached a link to a posting on espn.com about Manchester City's efforts to buy an EPL title. As a mercenary fan who is only followishing, this appears to be the perfect team. There are recognizable stars (Tevez, both Toures, Daniel Silva, Robinho (Brazilian)) and will be interesting story lines. I say go for it Jim. Manchester City should be your team.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Independence
I am hereby declaring my independence from Mary's blog. For months I have waited for something - almost anything on which to write. I have missed ample world cup opportunities. I have missed vomit on birthday cake opportunities. I have missed my chance to end war and bring this world to perpetual piece. In short, not just I, but you the reader deserve more than the woeful ineptitude of a blog that only updates once every couple of months. Pathetic. Therefore, I hereby state that while I might comment on other blogs including my sister's, I will not be beholden to them. I am independent.
And with that, I will write a quick blog about a couple of things.
1) My wife and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary on July 15, 2010. I can't believe that we have been married for 10 years. Its amazing to think that in another ten years - I will have kids in college and none of my kids will be as little as the oldest is today.
2) My brother Jim may not only be the smartest Chapman - but also the funniest writer. Since he does not have a blog, I have posted his most recent email. I will admit to being the sibling.
Howdy Family,
So I felt that I had been an email slacker for long enough. It turns out that my
absence in any form of communication was noticed by at least one of my siblings.
A couple weeks ago, I had the following phone call with one of you.
Me: “Hey, “sibling””
Sibling: “Hey, just wanted to make sure you were alive”
Me: “Yep, alive and kicking, what’s up?”
Sibling: “Oh, that’s all I really had to ask.”
This led me to think, “hmmmm, my family is wondering about the status of my
aliveitude…I should probably send some form of communication to reassure them
that I still walk in this plain of existence”. Due to my overall sloth, I have
chosen a short mass email. Because it is short and I don’t really have any
recent stories or desire to write on any informative chemical engineering topic,
it is in list format.
1. I am alive.
2. I am writing this at work during lunch while babysitting a plant trial (that
has lasted 3 weeks and counting). The plant trial is rather uneventful (“read
boring as (insert favorite expletive here)”) and yet somehow time consuming. At
this point we are simply spinning our wheels, but the higher ups want to press
forward, so forward we shall press and more of my time we shall waste...I could
explain more but that would indicate that I care at this point…and that would
just be a lie.
3. As it turns out, summer in Houston is a rather warm and humid endeavor, and
yet I feel completely acclimated…perhaps it’s the running in 105-110F heat index
weather regularly, perhaps it’s because I’m naturally just so cool (yeah, I went
there, you know you like it).
4. As of this moment, I am still alive.
5. I don’t care about the Lebacle, the NBA is boring and it is over, go away
until whenever your season starts.
6. I heard this and found it funny. The world cup is like Twilight, pretty
people run around for two hours not scoring, and all the while, its billion fans
tell you that you just don’t understand…On a plus note, it provided sports
entertainment to help me get a month closer to football season.
7. My girlfriend is good.
8. College football season is only 47 days away. Yes I am quite excited. As I
previously mentioned, I have been forced to resort to lesser sports to fill my
time, and it has not always been pretty. I now know faaaaar more about Nascar
than I should. And oh yes, I have favorite drivers. Can you guess who?
9. The Tom Chapman sponsored question, does Jim have a girlfriend? No I do not.
Foooooooooooled you. And you got so excited after question 7. I am the puppet
master and you are my marionettes. Dance puppets, dance.
10. …Still alive.
11. I have recently begun watching True Blood. It is quite entertaining but not
for all audiences.
12. I am looking for suggestions on the following topics (oh yes, a list inside
a list, I can just feel your glee)
a. Locations to visit that would be fun. Omaha does not count, do not suggest
it, I will just mock you mercilessly.
b. A soccer team from either the EPL or La Liga to follow…well lets be serious,
followish.
c. A beer or whiskey to try that I have not…uh, never mind, not the right
crowd…Mary, can you name me your top 5 moderately priced, available in the
States, scotches.
d. A movie, a tv show, a book, or some other form of entertainment.
e. A website to read on a semi regular basis.
f. A pearl of wisdom.
g. In the Chapman spirit of writing random stuff for a small not very captive
audience, should I start a blog?
h. Something to add to my bucket list…well my next year of my life bucket
list…so I suppose it’s more of a cake list…like before I have another birthday
cake…and we’re moving on.
13. On a serious note, I would like to request a moment of silence for Anthony
Rendon’s right ankle. If you put my left with his right, oh the humanity, ankles
would be pointed every which direction.
14. I strongly endorse the following link:
http://www.nimportequi.com/en/video_remi_pacman.html
15. And one more for you Star Wars fans out there.
http://thebubble.msn.com/#/video/?id=dd82f5b2-9b14-4b3f-9b76-4e6076850541
16. So, I got my oil changed last Friday…oh, and a haircut…like I said I don’t
have very many exciting stories for y’all. On a plus note, being able to do
those things means that I am still alive.
17. The second to last The Bachelorette of the season is on tonight…I’m willing
to bet someone’s not there for the right reasons…In other news, the sky is blue,
the sun is hot, and I’ll be watching something else.
18. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve hit full on rambling mode. My goal was to get to
20, but sometimes you fail…and sometimes you redefine success to meet what
you’ve already achieved. 18!!! SUCCESS!!!
When at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
3) Spurs looked anemic in their summer opener. But we are within a couple of weeks of both the Premiership opener with Manchester City and the Champions League. I really, really, really hope that we sign another striker and bring back Giovanni De Los Santos to play in midfield during the week. We had lots of injuries last year in the midfield and a little more speedy depth would be good.
And under point 12(b) above - I recommend that Jim jump on the Champions League band wagon and root for the good North Londoners - Tottenham Hotspur. If not Spurs in the EPL, I would recommend Everton (because of the existing, Howard, and potential, Donovan, US connection) or Manchester City because they are spending a TON of money and so will be good indefinitely and yet they have not won anything yet so they are not ridiculously bandwagon material. Finally, they have great uniforms and colors.
In La Liga, I'd root for either Vallencia or Sevilla - probably Sevilla because with Daniel Silva's move to Man City from Vallencia, they team may be unable to repeat last year's third place finish. As an aside, arguably Man City which finished fifth last year in the EPL has had three of the five best transfers of the summer period - Daniel Silva, Yaya Toure and German International Jerome Boateng. Collectively, they just made Man City a lot better, especially when you consider last summer and a year for last year's acquisitions to gel. I wonder if Robinho will be back and better or if he is back to Brazil forever.
Obviously, rooting for either Barca or Real Madrid in La Liga or Chelsea, Man Utd, Liverpool or Arsenal in EPL is pretty weak. So, seriously, dude, don't be pretty weak. Choose wisely.
And with that, I will write a quick blog about a couple of things.
1) My wife and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary on July 15, 2010. I can't believe that we have been married for 10 years. Its amazing to think that in another ten years - I will have kids in college and none of my kids will be as little as the oldest is today.
2) My brother Jim may not only be the smartest Chapman - but also the funniest writer. Since he does not have a blog, I have posted his most recent email. I will admit to being the sibling.
Howdy Family,
So I felt that I had been an email slacker for long enough. It turns out that my
absence in any form of communication was noticed by at least one of my siblings.
A couple weeks ago, I had the following phone call with one of you.
Me: “Hey, “sibling””
Sibling: “Hey, just wanted to make sure you were alive”
Me: “Yep, alive and kicking, what’s up?”
Sibling: “Oh, that’s all I really had to ask.”
This led me to think, “hmmmm, my family is wondering about the status of my
aliveitude…I should probably send some form of communication to reassure them
that I still walk in this plain of existence”. Due to my overall sloth, I have
chosen a short mass email. Because it is short and I don’t really have any
recent stories or desire to write on any informative chemical engineering topic,
it is in list format.
1. I am alive.
2. I am writing this at work during lunch while babysitting a plant trial (that
has lasted 3 weeks and counting). The plant trial is rather uneventful (“read
boring as (insert favorite expletive here)”) and yet somehow time consuming. At
this point we are simply spinning our wheels, but the higher ups want to press
forward, so forward we shall press and more of my time we shall waste...I could
explain more but that would indicate that I care at this point…and that would
just be a lie.
3. As it turns out, summer in Houston is a rather warm and humid endeavor, and
yet I feel completely acclimated…perhaps it’s the running in 105-110F heat index
weather regularly, perhaps it’s because I’m naturally just so cool (yeah, I went
there, you know you like it).
4. As of this moment, I am still alive.
5. I don’t care about the Lebacle, the NBA is boring and it is over, go away
until whenever your season starts.
6. I heard this and found it funny. The world cup is like Twilight, pretty
people run around for two hours not scoring, and all the while, its billion fans
tell you that you just don’t understand…On a plus note, it provided sports
entertainment to help me get a month closer to football season.
7. My girlfriend is good.
8. College football season is only 47 days away. Yes I am quite excited. As I
previously mentioned, I have been forced to resort to lesser sports to fill my
time, and it has not always been pretty. I now know faaaaar more about Nascar
than I should. And oh yes, I have favorite drivers. Can you guess who?
9. The Tom Chapman sponsored question, does Jim have a girlfriend? No I do not.
Foooooooooooled you. And you got so excited after question 7. I am the puppet
master and you are my marionettes. Dance puppets, dance.
10. …Still alive.
11. I have recently begun watching True Blood. It is quite entertaining but not
for all audiences.
12. I am looking for suggestions on the following topics (oh yes, a list inside
a list, I can just feel your glee)
a. Locations to visit that would be fun. Omaha does not count, do not suggest
it, I will just mock you mercilessly.
b. A soccer team from either the EPL or La Liga to follow…well lets be serious,
followish.
c. A beer or whiskey to try that I have not…uh, never mind, not the right
crowd…Mary, can you name me your top 5 moderately priced, available in the
States, scotches.
d. A movie, a tv show, a book, or some other form of entertainment.
e. A website to read on a semi regular basis.
f. A pearl of wisdom.
g. In the Chapman spirit of writing random stuff for a small not very captive
audience, should I start a blog?
h. Something to add to my bucket list…well my next year of my life bucket
list…so I suppose it’s more of a cake list…like before I have another birthday
cake…and we’re moving on.
13. On a serious note, I would like to request a moment of silence for Anthony
Rendon’s right ankle. If you put my left with his right, oh the humanity, ankles
would be pointed every which direction.
14. I strongly endorse the following link:
http://www.nimportequi.com/en/video_remi_pacman.html
15. And one more for you Star Wars fans out there.
http://thebubble.msn.com/#/video/?id=dd82f5b2-9b14-4b3f-9b76-4e6076850541
16. So, I got my oil changed last Friday…oh, and a haircut…like I said I don’t
have very many exciting stories for y’all. On a plus note, being able to do
those things means that I am still alive.
17. The second to last The Bachelorette of the season is on tonight…I’m willing
to bet someone’s not there for the right reasons…In other news, the sky is blue,
the sun is hot, and I’ll be watching something else.
18. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve hit full on rambling mode. My goal was to get to
20, but sometimes you fail…and sometimes you redefine success to meet what
you’ve already achieved. 18!!! SUCCESS!!!
When at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
3) Spurs looked anemic in their summer opener. But we are within a couple of weeks of both the Premiership opener with Manchester City and the Champions League. I really, really, really hope that we sign another striker and bring back Giovanni De Los Santos to play in midfield during the week. We had lots of injuries last year in the midfield and a little more speedy depth would be good.
And under point 12(b) above - I recommend that Jim jump on the Champions League band wagon and root for the good North Londoners - Tottenham Hotspur. If not Spurs in the EPL, I would recommend Everton (because of the existing, Howard, and potential, Donovan, US connection) or Manchester City because they are spending a TON of money and so will be good indefinitely and yet they have not won anything yet so they are not ridiculously bandwagon material. Finally, they have great uniforms and colors.
In La Liga, I'd root for either Vallencia or Sevilla - probably Sevilla because with Daniel Silva's move to Man City from Vallencia, they team may be unable to repeat last year's third place finish. As an aside, arguably Man City which finished fifth last year in the EPL has had three of the five best transfers of the summer period - Daniel Silva, Yaya Toure and German International Jerome Boateng. Collectively, they just made Man City a lot better, especially when you consider last summer and a year for last year's acquisitions to gel. I wonder if Robinho will be back and better or if he is back to Brazil forever.
Obviously, rooting for either Barca or Real Madrid in La Liga or Chelsea, Man Utd, Liverpool or Arsenal in EPL is pretty weak. So, seriously, dude, don't be pretty weak. Choose wisely.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
On Graduation
My sister graduated from Rice University over the weekend. Congratulations, Mary!!! On her last coherent night alive (it was Thursday night; she died the following Sunday), my mother and I talked a long time about Mary and college. That was our last conversation.
My mom was awesome in a lot of ways, but one of the biggest was she was very intent on education. For most of that conversation, my mom explained how worried she was that Mary would have a hard time adjusting to life without her and that it would compound into a bad college decision. My mom was particularly concerned that Mary would have no friends, fail out of school, and be unable to find a good job.
My mom really wanted Mary to go to Notre Dame because she felt that they would have the support and best interests of Mary in mind. Mary did not get into Notre Dame despite having excellent grades, extracurriculars, etc. I believe that this may have been the worst mistake that Notre Dame has ever made. Truly, even worse than hiring Gerry Faust as head football coach.
So, Mary proceeded to be wildly popular at school, graduate with a positive GPA (let's not get carried away here - we weren't in Kim's stratosphere here), and find a compelling job...as a dining attendant...in Antarctica. Okay, 2 out of 3 aren't bad. Congratulations, Mary!!!
My mom was awesome in a lot of ways, but one of the biggest was she was very intent on education. For most of that conversation, my mom explained how worried she was that Mary would have a hard time adjusting to life without her and that it would compound into a bad college decision. My mom was particularly concerned that Mary would have no friends, fail out of school, and be unable to find a good job.
My mom really wanted Mary to go to Notre Dame because she felt that they would have the support and best interests of Mary in mind. Mary did not get into Notre Dame despite having excellent grades, extracurriculars, etc. I believe that this may have been the worst mistake that Notre Dame has ever made. Truly, even worse than hiring Gerry Faust as head football coach.
So, Mary proceeded to be wildly popular at school, graduate with a positive GPA (let's not get carried away here - we weren't in Kim's stratosphere here), and find a compelling job...as a dining attendant...in Antarctica. Okay, 2 out of 3 aren't bad. Congratulations, Mary!!!
On my way to the forum
So, here's a rather pathetic although somewhat funny story about my weekend with the kids. I was scrambling all weekend. And when you are scrambling, you sometimes make stupid mistakes. Here's one of mine.
So, on Thursday night, I had to do interviews with potential Young Professional Manager candidates. Coach a soccer practice. Host a start-up drinks evening. Get home by 9pm. I did this almost (I was about 25 minutes late) - all with the gas light on in my car. I knew it was on - but I calculated that I had 40 miles until I would be out of gas. When I reached home, I had already traveled 47 miles - but I had internally calculated 30.
At 8:52am on my way to Big Omaha, I discovered that my calculations were wrong. I ran out of gas about 1/2 mile from the Martha Street exit in Omaha. Oops. Big Omaha started at 9am, and I had been hoping to get downtown and get gas at the Cubby's in the Old Market. I was about 2 miles short. Oops.
So, I walked to the BP at 24th and Martha. It took me about 20 minutes. During this walk, I climbed a fence, walked through a vacant lot with very high grass, and discovered that my short cut actually led me to virtually the exact spot where I started it - thanks to railroad tracks and a winding road. Way to go me. At the BP, I performed the walk of shame by walking in without a car and purchasing a gas can. The lady who was the assistant attendant said, "I hate it when I run out of gas. But, luckily it doesn't happen that often." I said, "my first time." She laughed and revealed that she had no teeth. I was already late for the conference (this is kind of a big conference for me professionally - I was already a little embarrassed that I wasn't there early - but the nanny could not get in until 8:30) really embarrassed and all sorts of stories were running through my head as to why I was late...my nanny was late, I had something to do at work, etc.
Anyway, I proceeded outside to fill up my newly purchase fire engine red gas tank, and BAM - the gas erupted off the floor of the tank and splattered everywhere - including my shirt, pants, shoes, and hands. I knew it was bad but hoped that in my anxious state, I was just being paranoid. I walked back to my car - arriving at 9:28am. I put the gas in the tank. I got in and drove to the same BP on 24th and Martha. I filled the tank.
I smelled like gas but I was not sure how strongly. I stopped at the Starbucks on 15th to get Pickles her second caramel latte because the first had grown cold when I ran out of gas and had to spend roughly an hour resolving the issue. As I walked in - there were three people in line. When she ordered, the woman directly in front of me, a young woman wearing a white shirt and dark skirt (black or a very dark navy) said to the barista - do you smell gas. I think you might have a gas thing going on. Oops. So, I got my latte. Didn't need another coffee since I had already had one and walked 2 miles that morning. Got in the car. 9:43.
Decided that I had to suck it up and go home and shower. So, I did. I called my nanny and asked her to put the only other jeans that I could account for in the drying machine. Basically, I had been doing laundry the night before and had considered staying up late to ensure that I would have this pair for the conference. I did not dry them, but I did put them in the wash. Lucky.
Got home 9:59. Stripped. Showered. Changed. Grabbed the new jeans - wet behind the knee, but overall pretty dry. Put on last year's BigOmaha shirt because it seemed like I needed to legitimize my credibility after arriving so late.
Out the door 10:08. Pretty solid transition. Drove down and decided to park at the Chamber. 10:26. Walked very fast to Aroma's where I got Pickles her third caramel latte of the day. For which she thanked me and told me how good it tasted. I really hope it did because it cost about 12 bucks all in.
As I walked out, who should be standing at the corner but Dusty D and Danny S (who I know well) - two of the three hosts of the conference. Oops. They said something like - hey how's it going. I said, Great - Super good conference or some such. And they said, you just getting here. I looked sheepish and admitted that I was. I had a bit of a gas problem...you see. They looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in history. And it is possible that I am.
So, on Thursday night, I had to do interviews with potential Young Professional Manager candidates. Coach a soccer practice. Host a start-up drinks evening. Get home by 9pm. I did this almost (I was about 25 minutes late) - all with the gas light on in my car. I knew it was on - but I calculated that I had 40 miles until I would be out of gas. When I reached home, I had already traveled 47 miles - but I had internally calculated 30.
At 8:52am on my way to Big Omaha, I discovered that my calculations were wrong. I ran out of gas about 1/2 mile from the Martha Street exit in Omaha. Oops. Big Omaha started at 9am, and I had been hoping to get downtown and get gas at the Cubby's in the Old Market. I was about 2 miles short. Oops.
So, I walked to the BP at 24th and Martha. It took me about 20 minutes. During this walk, I climbed a fence, walked through a vacant lot with very high grass, and discovered that my short cut actually led me to virtually the exact spot where I started it - thanks to railroad tracks and a winding road. Way to go me. At the BP, I performed the walk of shame by walking in without a car and purchasing a gas can. The lady who was the assistant attendant said, "I hate it when I run out of gas. But, luckily it doesn't happen that often." I said, "my first time." She laughed and revealed that she had no teeth. I was already late for the conference (this is kind of a big conference for me professionally - I was already a little embarrassed that I wasn't there early - but the nanny could not get in until 8:30) really embarrassed and all sorts of stories were running through my head as to why I was late...my nanny was late, I had something to do at work, etc.
Anyway, I proceeded outside to fill up my newly purchase fire engine red gas tank, and BAM - the gas erupted off the floor of the tank and splattered everywhere - including my shirt, pants, shoes, and hands. I knew it was bad but hoped that in my anxious state, I was just being paranoid. I walked back to my car - arriving at 9:28am. I put the gas in the tank. I got in and drove to the same BP on 24th and Martha. I filled the tank.
I smelled like gas but I was not sure how strongly. I stopped at the Starbucks on 15th to get Pickles her second caramel latte because the first had grown cold when I ran out of gas and had to spend roughly an hour resolving the issue. As I walked in - there were three people in line. When she ordered, the woman directly in front of me, a young woman wearing a white shirt and dark skirt (black or a very dark navy) said to the barista - do you smell gas. I think you might have a gas thing going on. Oops. So, I got my latte. Didn't need another coffee since I had already had one and walked 2 miles that morning. Got in the car. 9:43.
Decided that I had to suck it up and go home and shower. So, I did. I called my nanny and asked her to put the only other jeans that I could account for in the drying machine. Basically, I had been doing laundry the night before and had considered staying up late to ensure that I would have this pair for the conference. I did not dry them, but I did put them in the wash. Lucky.
Got home 9:59. Stripped. Showered. Changed. Grabbed the new jeans - wet behind the knee, but overall pretty dry. Put on last year's BigOmaha shirt because it seemed like I needed to legitimize my credibility after arriving so late.
Out the door 10:08. Pretty solid transition. Drove down and decided to park at the Chamber. 10:26. Walked very fast to Aroma's where I got Pickles her third caramel latte of the day. For which she thanked me and told me how good it tasted. I really hope it did because it cost about 12 bucks all in.
As I walked out, who should be standing at the corner but Dusty D and Danny S (who I know well) - two of the three hosts of the conference. Oops. They said something like - hey how's it going. I said, Great - Super good conference or some such. And they said, you just getting here. I looked sheepish and admitted that I was. I had a bit of a gas problem...you see. They looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in history. And it is possible that I am.
Friday, May 14, 2010
On the APM
Tonight my wife is out of town as is my oldest son. So, my kids and I had a low key night at the Amazing Pizza Machine. It was surprisingly awesome for me and my two daughters. I was confident that the boys would have a good time but Martha is a ticket machine - she hit like four jackpots without even being able to see the game - just by hitting a button or spinning a wheel. She is amazing.
So this brings me to my family's odd talents. First, my sister Mary just got a job as "dining attendant" in Antarctica. Excuse me. What? - yeah that Antarctica - penguins, cold, seals, cold, birds, cold - freaking freezing cold. Second, while standing at the Amazing Pizza Machine, I saw the three-pronged stuffed animal lift game. It made me miss James. About 2 years ago we had dinner at Mama's Pizza in West Omaha and James literally won eight animals out of nine tries on that machine. Odd, yes I think so. I miss that guy and was sad when I went into the shared boys room and there was an empty bed.
So this brings me to my family's odd talents. First, my sister Mary just got a job as "dining attendant" in Antarctica. Excuse me. What? - yeah that Antarctica - penguins, cold, seals, cold, birds, cold - freaking freezing cold. Second, while standing at the Amazing Pizza Machine, I saw the three-pronged stuffed animal lift game. It made me miss James. About 2 years ago we had dinner at Mama's Pizza in West Omaha and James literally won eight animals out of nine tries on that machine. Odd, yes I think so. I miss that guy and was sad when I went into the shared boys room and there was an empty bed.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Damn You St. Roberts, Damn You
The U7/U8 St. Roberts Rumbles defeated the pathetic MOQ Sounders today 7-0. The MOQ Sounders goal differential is now (-27) or 4 - 31 in five games. As a coach, I should be sacked. Unfortunately, I think that I might be the best we got. So, I just need to sack up and keep on going.
Here are a couple of my issues. So encouragement or advice is welcome on this one.
I started saying Forward/Striker, Midfielder (x2), Defender, Goalie (1-2-1) at the beginning of last year. So far we are 0-11 in this formation. Should I move to a 3-1 or a 2-2? Play without midfielders and very specific roles for each player to create spacing - so everyone gets a box.
Second, simple directions seem beyond my team. I have now spent significant practice time and tell the kids (and I am right next to them because I am also the referee) before every goal kick. Do not kick the ball in the middle of the field. And yet, again today - we had 2 goals against thanks to goal kicks that were probably kicked five feet in front of the goalie into the middle of the field where St. Bob's grabbed the ball and kicked the ball right in. Now should I simply a) simply be quiet - no direction at all that may mean a 20 goal defeat, but so be it, b)pull the goalie if they kick it in the middle of the field - meaning that I may be out of goalies by half-time, c) keep on swimming by telling them and just sort of recognizing that they are a group of 7 year olds with limited retention abilities (salient points of fact will slip out of their minds in under one second).
Third, after being scored upon and asked by my goalie - do I get to kick it? Knowing that this is not the first time or even the 21st time that we have been scored upon this year, should I tell them: a) yes - everyone is on offense, we need to go for broke and make up some goals here, b) no - I am sorry but you just allowed in the worst goal that I have ever witnessed as a coach or player - including the Mike Knust daisy picking goal, or c) be a good sport and ask them - what just happened? Kid: "uh...they scored a goal." So then what happens next? Kid: "uh...I kick it." No, actually we get a kickoff. Kid: "Oh good, can I kick it?" Uh, no - we're going to let our striker kick it off.
Fourth, today we had nine timeouts to tie shoes. Should I a) John Wooden them and start every practice and game with a sock putting on, shinguard, second sock, shoes putting on session? Or should I b) make them all tie their shoes before they can have treats after the end of the game? Or c) should I simply tell them to play without shoes? Or d) give up and secretly hope someone falls and creates a twister-esque pile up?
Fifth, when I am coaching an away game should I tell the other coach who asks me to ref to a) screw off, b) take my whistle and blow it, c) that I would be happy to or d) call the league office and force them to send the other team to forfeit the game (thus making the environment right for a potential first career victory for the MOQ Sounders).
Just asking for some help here. Anything would be useful.
Here are a couple of my issues. So encouragement or advice is welcome on this one.
I started saying Forward/Striker, Midfielder (x2), Defender, Goalie (1-2-1) at the beginning of last year. So far we are 0-11 in this formation. Should I move to a 3-1 or a 2-2? Play without midfielders and very specific roles for each player to create spacing - so everyone gets a box.
Second, simple directions seem beyond my team. I have now spent significant practice time and tell the kids (and I am right next to them because I am also the referee) before every goal kick. Do not kick the ball in the middle of the field. And yet, again today - we had 2 goals against thanks to goal kicks that were probably kicked five feet in front of the goalie into the middle of the field where St. Bob's grabbed the ball and kicked the ball right in. Now should I simply a) simply be quiet - no direction at all that may mean a 20 goal defeat, but so be it, b)pull the goalie if they kick it in the middle of the field - meaning that I may be out of goalies by half-time, c) keep on swimming by telling them and just sort of recognizing that they are a group of 7 year olds with limited retention abilities (salient points of fact will slip out of their minds in under one second).
Third, after being scored upon and asked by my goalie - do I get to kick it? Knowing that this is not the first time or even the 21st time that we have been scored upon this year, should I tell them: a) yes - everyone is on offense, we need to go for broke and make up some goals here, b) no - I am sorry but you just allowed in the worst goal that I have ever witnessed as a coach or player - including the Mike Knust daisy picking goal, or c) be a good sport and ask them - what just happened? Kid: "uh...they scored a goal." So then what happens next? Kid: "uh...I kick it." No, actually we get a kickoff. Kid: "Oh good, can I kick it?" Uh, no - we're going to let our striker kick it off.
Fourth, today we had nine timeouts to tie shoes. Should I a) John Wooden them and start every practice and game with a sock putting on, shinguard, second sock, shoes putting on session? Or should I b) make them all tie their shoes before they can have treats after the end of the game? Or c) should I simply tell them to play without shoes? Or d) give up and secretly hope someone falls and creates a twister-esque pile up?
Fifth, when I am coaching an away game should I tell the other coach who asks me to ref to a) screw off, b) take my whistle and blow it, c) that I would be happy to or d) call the league office and force them to send the other team to forfeit the game (thus making the environment right for a potential first career victory for the MOQ Sounders).
Just asking for some help here. Anything would be useful.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Its funny what makes you laugh
A voice from my childhood just called and left a message on my phone. Kent Pavelka called and said - "touchdown, touchdown, touchdown....don't throw the oranges."
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Spurs into Champions League
Tottenham Hotspur will play in the European Champions League next season after a truly brilliant performance against Manchester City (1-0). I watched the action on my TiVo and have been anxious since the game started at 1:45 CDT. When Crouch scored in the 82 minutes, I literally started running around the room ending in a rolling double fist pump. God Bless You, Peter Crouch.
1-20
Last year, my soccer team was 0-6. This year my soccer team is 0-4. My microsoccer teams have not won a game that I coached in three seasons (0-9). My baseball record was 0-1 so far this year. I almost cried last night when the Prairie Lane Yellow Bellied Sea Slugs were victorious 7-1. Honestly, I did.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Shampoo
Obviously, washing your hair matters. If you did not, you would smell bad and look worse. But, I have some questions.
What is the marginal impact of using an incredibly cheap shampoo - say Vo5 and a designer shampoo? Over time, does either do a great deal for you hair, head, or scalp? If you wash the hair on your head, should you wash the hair in your...armpit? If so, should you use shampoo? If not, why not?
If you are a boy (and/or have short hair), should you use conditioner? If so, why? What is the real benefit of conditioner?
So, when I was in a more youthful phase of my life, I had long hair. During this phase, I was also traveling somewhat regularly to Central America. I am sure that at this point the two were somewhat related - but I can't remember how.
On one of these excursions, I picked up some shampoo in a small Guatemalan village. Alas, I had left my shampoo at my previous location. It was made of recycled maize husks. It did not have any artificial fragrance - or really any positive natural ones either. When I washed my hair with this wonderful blend of husks and some brown substance that smelled bad, it did an excellent job of making my hair feel silky. However, over time, I am not 100% certain if it actually cleaned or improved my hair or follicle quality. [Now I might as an aside that at 33, I, unlike my brothers, still have most/if not all of my hair.]. But does most shampoo? What about conditioner? Is this the secret behind the conditioner movement?
I have spent many high quality moments washing, rinsing and repeating wondering these thoughts. What is the real value of shampoo and conditioner? I understand why brushing your teeth and flossing is good for dental hygiene. I understand why using soap and a good wash cloth are good for cleaning off dead skin and dust mites. But, what is the actual value of high end shampoo? Moreover, where do you learn this? Is there a college degree in hygiene? What about community college or PhD level?
Reading this you might think that I am unhygenic - maybe I am. However, I would stipulate that I shower at least once and often twice a day, brush my teeth and hair, wash my clothes, etc. And within this, shampoo seems like the one thing that's intrinsic value seems apparent but hard to quantify.
Just wondering...
What is the marginal impact of using an incredibly cheap shampoo - say Vo5 and a designer shampoo? Over time, does either do a great deal for you hair, head, or scalp? If you wash the hair on your head, should you wash the hair in your...armpit? If so, should you use shampoo? If not, why not?
If you are a boy (and/or have short hair), should you use conditioner? If so, why? What is the real benefit of conditioner?
So, when I was in a more youthful phase of my life, I had long hair. During this phase, I was also traveling somewhat regularly to Central America. I am sure that at this point the two were somewhat related - but I can't remember how.
On one of these excursions, I picked up some shampoo in a small Guatemalan village. Alas, I had left my shampoo at my previous location. It was made of recycled maize husks. It did not have any artificial fragrance - or really any positive natural ones either. When I washed my hair with this wonderful blend of husks and some brown substance that smelled bad, it did an excellent job of making my hair feel silky. However, over time, I am not 100% certain if it actually cleaned or improved my hair or follicle quality. [Now I might as an aside that at 33, I, unlike my brothers, still have most/if not all of my hair.]. But does most shampoo? What about conditioner? Is this the secret behind the conditioner movement?
I have spent many high quality moments washing, rinsing and repeating wondering these thoughts. What is the real value of shampoo and conditioner? I understand why brushing your teeth and flossing is good for dental hygiene. I understand why using soap and a good wash cloth are good for cleaning off dead skin and dust mites. But, what is the actual value of high end shampoo? Moreover, where do you learn this? Is there a college degree in hygiene? What about community college or PhD level?
Reading this you might think that I am unhygenic - maybe I am. However, I would stipulate that I shower at least once and often twice a day, brush my teeth and hair, wash my clothes, etc. And within this, shampoo seems like the one thing that's intrinsic value seems apparent but hard to quantify.
Just wondering...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
All Species Inventory
So I am re-reading Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything. This is a really good book for a non-science person who is interested in science, but not that much.
Anyway, as I listen to the book, I am amazed at how little we actually know about Earth. We probably as a species know more about the planet Vulcan or Klingons than we do about millions of species and many parts of our own planet. To me that is amazing.
Here are some of my mid-read reactions. I think that eventually we are all going to die from something awful - Old Faithful the super volcano (a la 2012), some super virus/bacteria, or from an asteroid clobbering the planet. In the book, each is described with frightening detail. The most frightening thing is that basically we wouldn't even see it coming. We'd just be dead - and in the case of the asteroid/meteorite - it would be in 1 second or less if you were within the blast zone. Ouch.
Here's another point. The best current science can say is that there are between 2 million and 200 million species on earth right now. RIGHT NOW! This is not a total count of ever - but currently on earth with us. We are talking a 10x spread here. That's a bit of a problem for all of us. We, as a species, should know more about what is on this planet with us.
In particular, this could be incredibly relevant to my sister's current dilemma associated with shampoo. If she could find the correct species of bacterium, mite ore microbe - perhaps she could grow a shampoo based ecosystem with productive and lucrative newly discovered organisms. Mary - get on that.
Anyway, as I listen to the book, I am amazed at how little we actually know about Earth. We probably as a species know more about the planet Vulcan or Klingons than we do about millions of species and many parts of our own planet. To me that is amazing.
Here are some of my mid-read reactions. I think that eventually we are all going to die from something awful - Old Faithful the super volcano (a la 2012), some super virus/bacteria, or from an asteroid clobbering the planet. In the book, each is described with frightening detail. The most frightening thing is that basically we wouldn't even see it coming. We'd just be dead - and in the case of the asteroid/meteorite - it would be in 1 second or less if you were within the blast zone. Ouch.
Here's another point. The best current science can say is that there are between 2 million and 200 million species on earth right now. RIGHT NOW! This is not a total count of ever - but currently on earth with us. We are talking a 10x spread here. That's a bit of a problem for all of us. We, as a species, should know more about what is on this planet with us.
In particular, this could be incredibly relevant to my sister's current dilemma associated with shampoo. If she could find the correct species of bacterium, mite ore microbe - perhaps she could grow a shampoo based ecosystem with productive and lucrative newly discovered organisms. Mary - get on that.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
On location with 510 Cinema
So, I have been working with a local company on a video shoot to help Omaha recruit more young professionals. Today was the first day of filming for this video. They were shooting a "West Omaha" shot. First, I was disappointed by the lack of interesting wild life - dead or alive. Yeah, there were some Canadian Snow Geese but the West Omaha I know - now has black squirrels [see previous post].
In addition, I was struck by how simple and yet complex the shoot was. When I considered the shoot, I thought the key issues would be background and light. I did not consider noise. But, the shoot was near a golf course and they were mowing the fairways and the 'Looking Glass' was flying overhead. So, the shoot was delayed while everything could grow still. It was surprising to me how much ambient noise a West Omaha neighborhood actually has - sirens and garbage trucks and snow geese and kids playing and tattooed gardeners running their trucks and so on.
When the shot actually happened, it probably took five minutes for five takes. This was not a complex shot (or so I was told). Later I was made aware that the public transportation take took a number of tries and a long time - but West Omaha doesn't have the same sort of logistics as entering an operating bus.
Anyway, overall it was both more engaging (because of all the variables) but also less so - because Pickles and I just sat and watched and discussed her various interests - school mostly. In addition, its always interesting to be around Matt Harwell. He is a funny dude. He is also the lead actor for the video.
In addition, I was struck by how simple and yet complex the shoot was. When I considered the shoot, I thought the key issues would be background and light. I did not consider noise. But, the shoot was near a golf course and they were mowing the fairways and the 'Looking Glass' was flying overhead. So, the shoot was delayed while everything could grow still. It was surprising to me how much ambient noise a West Omaha neighborhood actually has - sirens and garbage trucks and snow geese and kids playing and tattooed gardeners running their trucks and so on.
When the shot actually happened, it probably took five minutes for five takes. This was not a complex shot (or so I was told). Later I was made aware that the public transportation take took a number of tries and a long time - but West Omaha doesn't have the same sort of logistics as entering an operating bus.
Anyway, overall it was both more engaging (because of all the variables) but also less so - because Pickles and I just sat and watched and discussed her various interests - school mostly. In addition, its always interesting to be around Matt Harwell. He is a funny dude. He is also the lead actor for the video.
Dead Squirrels
So, Prairie Lane (my neighborhood) has seen an incredible infusion of black squirrels over the last decade. When I was a kid, there were zero black squirrels in the PL neighborhood - but today, there are probably more black than brown squirrels. When I was a kid the only neighborhood that had black squirrels in Omaha was right around Westside High School. But, I have been doing a survey and these squirrels now are the dominant rodent species of District 66. For this reason, I am proposing that the Westside Warrios change their nickname to the Fighting Black Squirrels.
For those of you who do not know, black squirrels are not nice or friendly. They are mean and have been known to attack small cats, dogs and all brown squirrels. However, they are also pretty stupid - so there is significant debris left behind by the infusion of black squirrels. Within one block of my house, there are at least four dead black squirrels (and zero brown ones). More importantly, near the end of the block two of the squirrels are dead within five feet of each other - suggesting that they fell victim to the same force majeure. Dumb. If a squirrel gets hit by a car, shame on the car for not honking - but if a second squirrel gets hit by a car in the same place, shame on the squirrel.
Interestingly, I drove to Lincoln today and I did not notice many deer carcasses on the side of the road. Instead, I saw three opossums, two raccoons, three dogs, a cat (probably not a mountain lion) and a number of squirrels (mostly brown) and rabbits. What's up with the lack of roadside deer killings along I-80, I think the deer may be on a union boycott of hitting cars with their bodies. I did not see a "SHAME ON NEBRASKA DRIVERS - harvest what you kill" sign but maybe I missed the deer perch.
For those of you who do not know, black squirrels are not nice or friendly. They are mean and have been known to attack small cats, dogs and all brown squirrels. However, they are also pretty stupid - so there is significant debris left behind by the infusion of black squirrels. Within one block of my house, there are at least four dead black squirrels (and zero brown ones). More importantly, near the end of the block two of the squirrels are dead within five feet of each other - suggesting that they fell victim to the same force majeure. Dumb. If a squirrel gets hit by a car, shame on the car for not honking - but if a second squirrel gets hit by a car in the same place, shame on the squirrel.
Interestingly, I drove to Lincoln today and I did not notice many deer carcasses on the side of the road. Instead, I saw three opossums, two raccoons, three dogs, a cat (probably not a mountain lion) and a number of squirrels (mostly brown) and rabbits. What's up with the lack of roadside deer killings along I-80, I think the deer may be on a union boycott of hitting cars with their bodies. I did not see a "SHAME ON NEBRASKA DRIVERS - harvest what you kill" sign but maybe I missed the deer perch.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Mary's Grant Award
On the day after I graduated from college, I started working to pay for my trip to Belize. I started painting a house.
On the day after her graduation, Mary will be going to Ireland with her father. Then, courtesy of her former school (as she will be an alum), she will be 1) discovering the inner wisdom and external flavor or many countries' whiskeys and 2) acting as the US correspondent at the European Team Handball championships. This is simply amazing. I can't even think of a relevant, thoughtful follow-up.
There are days that I wish that I had attended Rice University.
On the day after her graduation, Mary will be going to Ireland with her father. Then, courtesy of her former school (as she will be an alum), she will be 1) discovering the inner wisdom and external flavor or many countries' whiskeys and 2) acting as the US correspondent at the European Team Handball championships. This is simply amazing. I can't even think of a relevant, thoughtful follow-up.
There are days that I wish that I had attended Rice University.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Phlebitis
Sorry for the delayed response. I have spent the better part of my free time over the last week or so dealing with phlebitis, which as I am sure you know means inflammation of the vessels (or veins) according to Dr. Cheryl.
So here goes in quick succession.
1. Erectile Dysfunction post. Interesting that this is her drug type of choice. Myself, I go for the double anti-biotics to deal with potential MRSA complications from an IV in my hand for a routine exam. Oh, yeah - that's the phlebitis talking.
2. Mail Problem (clever segue, I know). I have no idea how to deal with your issue. But how bout this one, a certain former resident and now retired gentleman who shall go nameless set up a bank account with his second wife which for some odd reason has its statements sent to his former house. Again, that would be my own. How's that for an odd mail problem.
3. The Amazing Race. No comment. Just remember the Easter Egg Hunt. At the Chapman house all rituals (such as easter egg hunts) are competitive. So, even when we are adults - the Chapman and in-laws have a competitive easter egg hunt - full physicality allowed (although rarely, but not never used). Beth, who had a baby today (C-section style) has already said that she is planning on kicking everyone's butt. You might believe that - but then many of the things Beth does you may not believe. She has done a full Ironman on two bad knees (double ACL). Beth's a competitor - but Mary is known for her wily ways. She is sneaky like a fox and a bit like a convict - "participating" in so many ways that its a bit hard to capture in a six sentence quick blog.
4. Beer Bike. This is one tradition that I have never quite understood. I get the allure and why people enjoy it. I actually just don't understand the logistics. I always thought the chuggers and bikers were the same person - but apparently they are not. Which to me makes the whole thing a lot less interesting. Now if you told me that somebody had to chug 10 beers and then complete the circuit. I'd be both interested and impressed - but not particularly attracted to participate. More of a spectator sport.
5. Whiskey and Handball. How did you integrate the two concepts? It seems to me that this is the sort of thing that might not immediately make sense to people. However, few people know that the ancient ritual of the Nordic countries when preparing for a Handball match was to drop 10 whiskies and then play. This ancient tradition is actually the reason the Irish imported whiskey at all. Anyway, trip sounds "interesting", I hope that you don't run into too may ED experiments gone awry (or perhaps as your brother, maybe I hope that you do, I am not sure, I'll get back to you on that).
I also hope that you continue to integrate key MC concepts, like alcohol, sports, and family in the continued witty and brilliant fashion that is sure to be echoed by the judges of scholarship applications and the Amazing Race alike. Good luck, God Speed, Drink Some for Me, you see I have phlebitis.
So here goes in quick succession.
1. Erectile Dysfunction post. Interesting that this is her drug type of choice. Myself, I go for the double anti-biotics to deal with potential MRSA complications from an IV in my hand for a routine exam. Oh, yeah - that's the phlebitis talking.
2. Mail Problem (clever segue, I know). I have no idea how to deal with your issue. But how bout this one, a certain former resident and now retired gentleman who shall go nameless set up a bank account with his second wife which for some odd reason has its statements sent to his former house. Again, that would be my own. How's that for an odd mail problem.
3. The Amazing Race. No comment. Just remember the Easter Egg Hunt. At the Chapman house all rituals (such as easter egg hunts) are competitive. So, even when we are adults - the Chapman and in-laws have a competitive easter egg hunt - full physicality allowed (although rarely, but not never used). Beth, who had a baby today (C-section style) has already said that she is planning on kicking everyone's butt. You might believe that - but then many of the things Beth does you may not believe. She has done a full Ironman on two bad knees (double ACL). Beth's a competitor - but Mary is known for her wily ways. She is sneaky like a fox and a bit like a convict - "participating" in so many ways that its a bit hard to capture in a six sentence quick blog.
4. Beer Bike. This is one tradition that I have never quite understood. I get the allure and why people enjoy it. I actually just don't understand the logistics. I always thought the chuggers and bikers were the same person - but apparently they are not. Which to me makes the whole thing a lot less interesting. Now if you told me that somebody had to chug 10 beers and then complete the circuit. I'd be both interested and impressed - but not particularly attracted to participate. More of a spectator sport.
5. Whiskey and Handball. How did you integrate the two concepts? It seems to me that this is the sort of thing that might not immediately make sense to people. However, few people know that the ancient ritual of the Nordic countries when preparing for a Handball match was to drop 10 whiskies and then play. This ancient tradition is actually the reason the Irish imported whiskey at all. Anyway, trip sounds "interesting", I hope that you don't run into too may ED experiments gone awry (or perhaps as your brother, maybe I hope that you do, I am not sure, I'll get back to you on that).
I also hope that you continue to integrate key MC concepts, like alcohol, sports, and family in the continued witty and brilliant fashion that is sure to be echoed by the judges of scholarship applications and the Amazing Race alike. Good luck, God Speed, Drink Some for Me, you see I have phlebitis.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Heard at SXSW
Here some things I learned at South by Southwest Interactive:
1. The average blog has an active readership of six.
2. The whole internet is really small. People kept saying (in exaggeration) that the entire internet was in the lobby. In fact, there was no one from Google, Facebook, Yahoo! or youtube in the lobby.
3. Pickles had a series of unfortunate events that makes me wonder why she wants to go back next year.
4. Austin is growing like crazy. Since I went there in 2000 - there are probably 10 or so new downtown skyscrapers.
5. The best sessions tended to be specific topics rather than general ideas. For example, crowdsourcing was terrific with Behance and Digg and Third Coast was awful.
6. I find certain things about media more interesting - open sourcing and data analytics - and somethings far less so - graphics and social media less so.
7. I really understand how Twitter can make a conference better. Great job on the hashtags and ongoing twitter talk.
8. Some people probably would prefer if I don't remember some of their not as good moments from this weekend. And honestly, I wish I could. However, Pickles and I have created some new googlesque verbs to refer to certain behaviors.
9. Surprisingly no discussion of mobile slaughterhouses.
10. Austin really is weird.
11. It seemed like a lot of discussion from everywhere was about capital and bootstrapping - not just poor Midwestern states.
12. I was surprised by the quality of the government personnel and NGOs in social media. I thought Architecture for Humanity was great as was were the space people.
13. Conversely, I was highly disappointed by financial services and US soccer. Neither seemed to "really get it" - although I do like Smarty Pig and Mint - still.
14. I felt like a duck out of water as a Chamber/Economic Developer guy - not because of what I do, but because so many people immediately cast me off as interesting.
15. Danah Boyd was fascinating. Evan Williams not so much.
16. There was a mouse in the Austin Airport last night and while I found it funny when I saw it running into the grill that I was eating at, I think it made me nauseous the whole way home.
17. Austin's airport is much nicer than the last time I was there.
18. Big Omaha could match SXSWi in a couple of years for content - but parties and clubs just aren't there yet in Omaha to match the non-conference part of the conference.
19. My favorite parts of the trip were remembering living in Houston and spending time with my brothers and sister on Selection Sunday - particularly watching my dad's awesome draw unfold.
20. I want to start a company because I think that I can beat some of the people I met at their own game. It really humanizes entrepreneurship and company creation to meet the entrepreneurs and see their fallibility and their true awesomeness (sometimes in the same person).
1. The average blog has an active readership of six.
2. The whole internet is really small. People kept saying (in exaggeration) that the entire internet was in the lobby. In fact, there was no one from Google, Facebook, Yahoo! or youtube in the lobby.
3. Pickles had a series of unfortunate events that makes me wonder why she wants to go back next year.
4. Austin is growing like crazy. Since I went there in 2000 - there are probably 10 or so new downtown skyscrapers.
5. The best sessions tended to be specific topics rather than general ideas. For example, crowdsourcing was terrific with Behance and Digg and Third Coast was awful.
6. I find certain things about media more interesting - open sourcing and data analytics - and somethings far less so - graphics and social media less so.
7. I really understand how Twitter can make a conference better. Great job on the hashtags and ongoing twitter talk.
8. Some people probably would prefer if I don't remember some of their not as good moments from this weekend. And honestly, I wish I could. However, Pickles and I have created some new googlesque verbs to refer to certain behaviors.
9. Surprisingly no discussion of mobile slaughterhouses.
10. Austin really is weird.
11. It seemed like a lot of discussion from everywhere was about capital and bootstrapping - not just poor Midwestern states.
12. I was surprised by the quality of the government personnel and NGOs in social media. I thought Architecture for Humanity was great as was were the space people.
13. Conversely, I was highly disappointed by financial services and US soccer. Neither seemed to "really get it" - although I do like Smarty Pig and Mint - still.
14. I felt like a duck out of water as a Chamber/Economic Developer guy - not because of what I do, but because so many people immediately cast me off as interesting.
15. Danah Boyd was fascinating. Evan Williams not so much.
16. There was a mouse in the Austin Airport last night and while I found it funny when I saw it running into the grill that I was eating at, I think it made me nauseous the whole way home.
17. Austin's airport is much nicer than the last time I was there.
18. Big Omaha could match SXSWi in a couple of years for content - but parties and clubs just aren't there yet in Omaha to match the non-conference part of the conference.
19. My favorite parts of the trip were remembering living in Houston and spending time with my brothers and sister on Selection Sunday - particularly watching my dad's awesome draw unfold.
20. I want to start a company because I think that I can beat some of the people I met at their own game. It really humanizes entrepreneurship and company creation to meet the entrepreneurs and see their fallibility and their true awesomeness (sometimes in the same person).
Monday, March 15, 2010
Why My Sister Needs a Boyfriend
Mary is afraid of commitment - but she needs massages. More importantly, for you would be suitors, you should know that Mary fears commitment. Yesterday, she revealed to me that she has relegated Spurs to a former favorite team status. Only an American could do this. Mary revealed that she has become a fan of Aston Villa - and more importantly, during this revelation, she admitted that she did not know how to pronounce the Lions name. Ridiculous. So, here are some factoids from Wikipedia.
Aston Villa - also called the Lions or the Ville or the Villans.
based in Birmingham - so archrival is cleverly Birmingham City.
colors are claret and sky blue - the uniforms are good looking.
the club has been in the premiership since its inception
the club holds the record for most goals in top flight
the club's top two keepers are both Americans - Friedel and Guzan
Okay - enough about Aston Villa as a club. Now some advice for you would be Lions fans hoping to jump with Mary on the bandwagon. She lasted less than a year as a Spurs fan. She chose the club because of their uniforms. So, all in - not exactly the foundation for deep commitment. I'd be careful of the Visigoth.
Aston Villa - also called the Lions or the Ville or the Villans.
based in Birmingham - so archrival is cleverly Birmingham City.
colors are claret and sky blue - the uniforms are good looking.
the club has been in the premiership since its inception
the club holds the record for most goals in top flight
the club's top two keepers are both Americans - Friedel and Guzan
Okay - enough about Aston Villa as a club. Now some advice for you would be Lions fans hoping to jump with Mary on the bandwagon. She lasted less than a year as a Spurs fan. She chose the club because of their uniforms. So, all in - not exactly the foundation for deep commitment. I'd be careful of the Visigoth.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
At SXSW
I am pretty sure that I just got peed on by a bird walking between the convention center in Austin and the Hilton hotel. Its possible that someone was playing a funny joke by squirting just tinkle off of a random balcony somewhere nearby. But really why me, why now. It was definitely a bird.
Anyway, SXSW is the handle for South by Southwest (which actually also goes by South by). I am here in Austin at the interactive part of the conference. Its pretty cool. There are lots of great panels and ideas. Austin has really changed since 2000 (the last time I was here). There are probably ten new buildings downtown and a new light rail line (I have crossed the tracks five times and not seen a train - so I can't confirm that there is a train).
I am also really happy to be back in Texas. I kind of missed the can-do attitude and surprisingly the sweet smell of oil (or spring - whatever).
Anyway, SXSW is the handle for South by Southwest (which actually also goes by South by). I am here in Austin at the interactive part of the conference. Its pretty cool. There are lots of great panels and ideas. Austin has really changed since 2000 (the last time I was here). There are probably ten new buildings downtown and a new light rail line (I have crossed the tracks five times and not seen a train - so I can't confirm that there is a train).
I am also really happy to be back in Texas. I kind of missed the can-do attitude and surprisingly the sweet smell of oil (or spring - whatever).
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
What's in a nickname
So, when my dad originally wrote the article that Mary posted on her blog, I helped him. So, I had some influence on the actual outcome of the original list - although not that much. However, it has long lived in my mind as one of the more interesting things about universities. I personally have always wished that universities without much tradition - read basically all of the schools in the ACC and Big East (football) - should have to rename themselves about every 10 or 15 years until something really sticks.
So, to honor Mary's request, I have analyzed the nicknames of the Big Six conferences. First, some ground rules - if your name came up more than once in this group - you were out. Or, if there was at least one other school that had your nickname that immediately jumped into my mind, you were out. Or if there was a professional team in any sport that had the same nickname then you were out.
So immediately, some schools simply dropped off the list:
Arizona, Kentucky, Northwestern, Kansas State Wildcats (OUT)
Missouri, Auburn, LSU, Clemson Tigers (OUT)
Georgia and Mississippi State Bulldogs (OUT)
Connecticut and Washington Huskies (OUT)
Texas A&M Aggies, Boston College Eagles, Oklahoma State Cowboys (OUT)
So 23% of the schools found themselves immediately out due to a lack of originality.
Next, there are some schools that fail the political correctness test. Note well, I actually like at least one of these nicknames, but you just can't name yourself something that is offensive to a significant group of people
Illinois Fightin Illini, Florida State Seminoles, Tennessee (and West Virginia - though that's just weird) Volunteers, and Mississippi Rebels (OUT)
Then, there are some odd nicknames that must be inside jokes to a group of old men who played a fraternity joke that led to a certain nickname getting chosen. I call this the Siena Green Plague phenomenom. In 1988, Siena was re-nicknaming itself when a severe illness swept the campus causing the school to have to close the games off to the public. Thus, the campus chose to name the team the green plague, the administration thought that might be bad for recruitment and called the team the Saints. Puh-lease.
Anyway,
Minnesota Golden Gophers (really an infesting rodent), Iowa Hawkeyes (not Hawks, just their eyes), Ohio State Buckeyes (again eyes of a buck, or how 'bout the tree), Nebraska Cornhuskers, South Carolina Gamecocks (definitely a fraternity joke), Kansas Jayhawks, Cincinnati Bearcats, South Florida Bulls (at least this animal exists...just not in Florida), Wake Forest Deamon Deacons, North Carolina Tarheels, Virginia Tech Hokies (possibly a category killer here), Maryland Terrapins, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Syracuse Orangemen (I guess to be against the Notre Dame Fighting Catholics), Rutgers Scarlet Knights (uh-huh). Okay, these names are all terrible and a bit ridiculous. None are intimidating and worse, some are down right ridiculous. All OUT.
Okay, so now to my list of good ones - in reverse order:
Washington State Cougars 27 This is unoriginal - but not automatically out. See #3 for how to do this right.
Pittsburgh Panthers 26 This is also unoriginal - but at least there are pink and inspector clousseau
Louisville Cardinals 25 A bird is not tough or scary - weak. And if virtually every single other place in US could claim the cardinals then your mascot sucks.
Duke Blue Devils 24 Iteration on a theme - why not teal or aquamarine devils? Plus, I just don't like Duke.
There is no #23 - none of these deserve my lucky number.
Alabama Crimson Tide 22 This probably should have been eliminated in the last category.
Indiana Hoosiers 21 At least it is unique - but it has not mystery or meaning. Its like saying we're Indiana Tunglers or Modzillas.
Purdue Boilermakers 20 Engineering school - get it. This is actually pretty good - but not really good.
Stanford Cardinal 19 I admire a school that would make a sedentary - thought long living - thing your mascot
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 18 Yellow Jackets are pesky - kind of like Georgia Tech - which as a school, I admire.
Wisconsin Badgers 17 Mean animal that can do serious damage when cornered - plus its not dependent on an allergy (see yellow jacket) to have an effect.
Oklahoma Sooners 16 This is locational (like Hoosiers) but has a historical meaning. I think it also is great for every other school's sororities to be able to wear a crossed out sign that says "sooners".
Michigan State Spartans 15 Why not Athenians? Because Spartans kick ass.
Iowa State Cyclones 14 Tornadoes/Cyclones are devastating, geographical and a force of nature. Too bad ISU's sports teams are not.
Arkansas Razorbacks 13 Original, geographical and who can forget Dana Altman calling the Hogs.
Florida Gators 12 According to Bear Grylls there are millions of alligators (a fearsome predator) living in Florida. That's geographical and frightening. Plus, Gator Chomp is a good traditional way of integrating scary animal into cheering ritual.
Vanderbilt Commodores 11 The school was started by Cornelius Vanderbilt - so accurate. And this is about winning the academic struggle in the SEC since they won't ever win the athletic.
Texas Tech Red Raiders 10 Crazy people from lubbock deserve to have a nickname that threatens Oklahoma and the law.
USC Trojans 9 Trojans lost to Spartans - but the crimson and gold colors bury the green and cream. Trojans rule - until the wily Odysseus gives 'um a gift (oh wait that's what they do with their players).
UCLA Bruins 8 I am not sure if there were ever bears in SoCal. But Bruins is a good solid nickname.
Arizona State Sun Devils 7 Okay - so where the Aquamarine Devils of Duke got it wrong - here's an example of someone that got it right. Sun Devils. Great One - ASU.
Colorado Buffaloes 6 This is a good solid animal mascot - original, appopriate, powerful and integrated into the atmosphere.
North Carolina State Wolfpack 5 I love the idea of the team being stronger than the individual in this nickname.
Texas Longhorns 4 Solid, appropriate for the middle of nowhere Texas. Add Burnt Orange and the great logo - and you have an icon.
Penn State Nittany Lions 3 Again a regional iteration on a theme. If you are going to name yourselves - Tigers, Bulldogs, Bears, etc. own it with the adjective.
Michigan Wolverines 2 Great fight song. Great colors. Great nickname.
California Golden Bears 1 Best nickname - geographical (there are/were bears in NoCal). They are big, mean and powerful. They have the Golden adjective which suggests athletic success and sunshine. Perfect.
Sorry this took so long. I did a significant amount of analysis to get to this list. And, I did it in time for Selection Sunday - the party.
So, to honor Mary's request, I have analyzed the nicknames of the Big Six conferences. First, some ground rules - if your name came up more than once in this group - you were out. Or, if there was at least one other school that had your nickname that immediately jumped into my mind, you were out. Or if there was a professional team in any sport that had the same nickname then you were out.
So immediately, some schools simply dropped off the list:
Arizona, Kentucky, Northwestern, Kansas State Wildcats (OUT)
Missouri, Auburn, LSU, Clemson Tigers (OUT)
Georgia and Mississippi State Bulldogs (OUT)
Connecticut and Washington Huskies (OUT)
Texas A&M Aggies, Boston College Eagles, Oklahoma State Cowboys (OUT)
So 23% of the schools found themselves immediately out due to a lack of originality.
Next, there are some schools that fail the political correctness test. Note well, I actually like at least one of these nicknames, but you just can't name yourself something that is offensive to a significant group of people
Illinois Fightin Illini, Florida State Seminoles, Tennessee (and West Virginia - though that's just weird) Volunteers, and Mississippi Rebels (OUT)
Then, there are some odd nicknames that must be inside jokes to a group of old men who played a fraternity joke that led to a certain nickname getting chosen. I call this the Siena Green Plague phenomenom. In 1988, Siena was re-nicknaming itself when a severe illness swept the campus causing the school to have to close the games off to the public. Thus, the campus chose to name the team the green plague, the administration thought that might be bad for recruitment and called the team the Saints. Puh-lease.
Anyway,
Minnesota Golden Gophers (really an infesting rodent), Iowa Hawkeyes (not Hawks, just their eyes), Ohio State Buckeyes (again eyes of a buck, or how 'bout the tree), Nebraska Cornhuskers, South Carolina Gamecocks (definitely a fraternity joke), Kansas Jayhawks, Cincinnati Bearcats, South Florida Bulls (at least this animal exists...just not in Florida), Wake Forest Deamon Deacons, North Carolina Tarheels, Virginia Tech Hokies (possibly a category killer here), Maryland Terrapins, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Syracuse Orangemen (I guess to be against the Notre Dame Fighting Catholics), Rutgers Scarlet Knights (uh-huh). Okay, these names are all terrible and a bit ridiculous. None are intimidating and worse, some are down right ridiculous. All OUT.
Okay, so now to my list of good ones - in reverse order:
Washington State Cougars 27 This is unoriginal - but not automatically out. See #3 for how to do this right.
Pittsburgh Panthers 26 This is also unoriginal - but at least there are pink and inspector clousseau
Louisville Cardinals 25 A bird is not tough or scary - weak. And if virtually every single other place in US could claim the cardinals then your mascot sucks.
Duke Blue Devils 24 Iteration on a theme - why not teal or aquamarine devils? Plus, I just don't like Duke.
There is no #23 - none of these deserve my lucky number.
Alabama Crimson Tide 22 This probably should have been eliminated in the last category.
Indiana Hoosiers 21 At least it is unique - but it has not mystery or meaning. Its like saying we're Indiana Tunglers or Modzillas.
Purdue Boilermakers 20 Engineering school - get it. This is actually pretty good - but not really good.
Stanford Cardinal 19 I admire a school that would make a sedentary - thought long living - thing your mascot
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 18 Yellow Jackets are pesky - kind of like Georgia Tech - which as a school, I admire.
Wisconsin Badgers 17 Mean animal that can do serious damage when cornered - plus its not dependent on an allergy (see yellow jacket) to have an effect.
Oklahoma Sooners 16 This is locational (like Hoosiers) but has a historical meaning. I think it also is great for every other school's sororities to be able to wear a crossed out sign that says "sooners".
Michigan State Spartans 15 Why not Athenians? Because Spartans kick ass.
Iowa State Cyclones 14 Tornadoes/Cyclones are devastating, geographical and a force of nature. Too bad ISU's sports teams are not.
Arkansas Razorbacks 13 Original, geographical and who can forget Dana Altman calling the Hogs.
Florida Gators 12 According to Bear Grylls there are millions of alligators (a fearsome predator) living in Florida. That's geographical and frightening. Plus, Gator Chomp is a good traditional way of integrating scary animal into cheering ritual.
Vanderbilt Commodores 11 The school was started by Cornelius Vanderbilt - so accurate. And this is about winning the academic struggle in the SEC since they won't ever win the athletic.
Texas Tech Red Raiders 10 Crazy people from lubbock deserve to have a nickname that threatens Oklahoma and the law.
USC Trojans 9 Trojans lost to Spartans - but the crimson and gold colors bury the green and cream. Trojans rule - until the wily Odysseus gives 'um a gift (oh wait that's what they do with their players).
UCLA Bruins 8 I am not sure if there were ever bears in SoCal. But Bruins is a good solid nickname.
Arizona State Sun Devils 7 Okay - so where the Aquamarine Devils of Duke got it wrong - here's an example of someone that got it right. Sun Devils. Great One - ASU.
Colorado Buffaloes 6 This is a good solid animal mascot - original, appopriate, powerful and integrated into the atmosphere.
North Carolina State Wolfpack 5 I love the idea of the team being stronger than the individual in this nickname.
Texas Longhorns 4 Solid, appropriate for the middle of nowhere Texas. Add Burnt Orange and the great logo - and you have an icon.
Penn State Nittany Lions 3 Again a regional iteration on a theme. If you are going to name yourselves - Tigers, Bulldogs, Bears, etc. own it with the adjective.
Michigan Wolverines 2 Great fight song. Great colors. Great nickname.
California Golden Bears 1 Best nickname - geographical (there are/were bears in NoCal). They are big, mean and powerful. They have the Golden adjective which suggests athletic success and sunshine. Perfect.
Sorry this took so long. I did a significant amount of analysis to get to this list. And, I did it in time for Selection Sunday - the party.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Words that give you trouble
As a kid I mis-spelled the word "friend", and since that day, I have always struggled to write the word. I also mis-pronounce certain words - "envelope" and "root", but today Pickles told me that in her high school the dread word in "popcorn" was organism. Apparently, there was a virus that affected her class causing kids to "accidentally" say orgasm. Apparently this flooded into her college career when she accidentally said "orgasm" three times in a row in her Philosophy class when she meant to say organism. Amazingly, only a handful of kids in this class responded with laughter - suggesting either that Pickles often suffered from horrible verbal diarrhea or that no one was paying attention. Either way, that's too bad because Pickles is great fun and full of verbal slip ups that are well worth listening to.
Today we (Pickles and I) drove to Kearney. This is the most rural town that Pickles has ever visited. Ever. One time she stopped in a random Missouri town at a carnival that had a lot of fish (per her). She was amazed that many rural towns do not have grocery stores. She had never considered why small towns don't generate the demand to support a local grocery store. Interestingly, she also commented that the conference that we were at seemed to have a disproportionate stressing of farmer's markets as a solution to this problem.
Lastly, she had a brilliant idea regarding a new thing necessary for the Omaha market - an indoor climbing wall. I am going to try to convince her to continue exploring this possibility. I think it could be successful - but I'd be interesting in understanding the demographics that use these walls in Phoenix and other places.
Today we (Pickles and I) drove to Kearney. This is the most rural town that Pickles has ever visited. Ever. One time she stopped in a random Missouri town at a carnival that had a lot of fish (per her). She was amazed that many rural towns do not have grocery stores. She had never considered why small towns don't generate the demand to support a local grocery store. Interestingly, she also commented that the conference that we were at seemed to have a disproportionate stressing of farmer's markets as a solution to this problem.
Lastly, she had a brilliant idea regarding a new thing necessary for the Omaha market - an indoor climbing wall. I am going to try to convince her to continue exploring this possibility. I think it could be successful - but I'd be interesting in understanding the demographics that use these walls in Phoenix and other places.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Rooting for your home country
I don't know about you, but I have friends that root for countries other than the United States in events - despite being born and bred Americans. I can sort of understand why an immigrant might root for the country of his or her booth, but a natural born citizen really has no excuse. So NBCs have no excuse but to root for the Yanks in the World Cup, Olympics or other international competitions.
However, when dealing with a naturalized citizen, I kind of think its expected and totally acceptable if this person roots for the country of their birth as long as they know where their bread is buttered. If you are an American, you cannot root against the US...just for someone else. So, I say she can sing O, Canada...
However, when dealing with a naturalized citizen, I kind of think its expected and totally acceptable if this person roots for the country of their birth as long as they know where their bread is buttered. If you are an American, you cannot root against the US...just for someone else. So, I say she can sing O, Canada...
Friday, February 19, 2010
Limiting Re-agents
The 3631 Family's limiting re-agent is MOQ school pants size 8 or bigger. James simply cannot wear anything smaller - but if given the opportunity, he will absolutely try. James is trying to popularize floods - or possibly women's 3/4 pants for men. He has gone to school with pants that when he sits - allow you to see his knees. Its a bit ridiculous.
The second re-agent is Cheryl's scrubs. However, it rarely occurs that James has worn his pants out sooner than Cheryl's scrubs - but in certain situations, such as last weekend's four day vacation - the other can occur. So we have to stay pretty on top of the laundry at the 3631 homestead.
The second re-agent is Cheryl's scrubs. However, it rarely occurs that James has worn his pants out sooner than Cheryl's scrubs - but in certain situations, such as last weekend's four day vacation - the other can occur. So we have to stay pretty on top of the laundry at the 3631 homestead.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
On the Winter Olympics
So, I have a couple of things to say about the Winter Olympics.
First, I think that it is ridiculous that despite watching figure skating for more than two full evenings of viewership, I still could not begin to describe the scoring. More importantly, how is it possible that people train literally to the expense of everything for their entire lives - some times 20 straight years. And yet, when it comes to the Olympic finals, the key is essentially to look happy, not fall and have a nice backstory. That's a ridiculous sport.
Second, I find snowboard cross to be a particularly compelling sport. I have no idea whether it is hard or not, if its fun or not, but I love the direct competition in the race. I also love that the people seem to have fun while participating and that it appears that while the people are all from Vermont or BC, they seem to be regular people that have excelled over time - not sacrificed their life before they could make a real decision. 10 year old girls should not be making lifelong decisions about spending 14 hours, 7 days a week working towards something. So, I like it a lot more than skating. As Pickles said, so what do you do after you have sacrificed your whole life and not won...oops.
Finally, I have watched portions of virtually every Olympics since 1980. And, I find that my fondest memories are from odd ones - Seoul, Barcelona and Sarajevo. Why, I have no idea. I remember watching the downhill in a snowstorm in Sarajevo while playing on the orange shag carpet in Timmerman's basement when I was 8. I remember the cobblestone and the architectural pictures of Barcelona. I can't tell you a single moment from the sports in 1992 - just discovering the existence of a Catalonian distaste for Spaniards. I simply had no idea and found the cultural parts of this Olympics to be awesome. Thus, I still strongly desire to visit Barcelona. Lastly, I remember Seoul. I remember Ben Johnson failing his drug test and Greg Louganis having HIV and hitting his head on the board.
So, when I watch the Olympics in Vancouver. I'll probably remember the luging death and the problems with the execution. This is horrible and unfortunate - but I think it reflects a new found realization of event execution. In addition, name a sport in the Summer Olympics that people regularly die doing. Luge, skeleton, skiing, snowboarding are all dangerous. People get horribly injured doing these things - not from outside influence (cyclists and cars for example) - but by simply failing to perform - world class athletes die. This is not just drunk people doing stupid things - this is world class people performing at the highest level and not just having an accident - but horrible ones that cause death.
First, I think that it is ridiculous that despite watching figure skating for more than two full evenings of viewership, I still could not begin to describe the scoring. More importantly, how is it possible that people train literally to the expense of everything for their entire lives - some times 20 straight years. And yet, when it comes to the Olympic finals, the key is essentially to look happy, not fall and have a nice backstory. That's a ridiculous sport.
Second, I find snowboard cross to be a particularly compelling sport. I have no idea whether it is hard or not, if its fun or not, but I love the direct competition in the race. I also love that the people seem to have fun while participating and that it appears that while the people are all from Vermont or BC, they seem to be regular people that have excelled over time - not sacrificed their life before they could make a real decision. 10 year old girls should not be making lifelong decisions about spending 14 hours, 7 days a week working towards something. So, I like it a lot more than skating. As Pickles said, so what do you do after you have sacrificed your whole life and not won...oops.
Finally, I have watched portions of virtually every Olympics since 1980. And, I find that my fondest memories are from odd ones - Seoul, Barcelona and Sarajevo. Why, I have no idea. I remember watching the downhill in a snowstorm in Sarajevo while playing on the orange shag carpet in Timmerman's basement when I was 8. I remember the cobblestone and the architectural pictures of Barcelona. I can't tell you a single moment from the sports in 1992 - just discovering the existence of a Catalonian distaste for Spaniards. I simply had no idea and found the cultural parts of this Olympics to be awesome. Thus, I still strongly desire to visit Barcelona. Lastly, I remember Seoul. I remember Ben Johnson failing his drug test and Greg Louganis having HIV and hitting his head on the board.
So, when I watch the Olympics in Vancouver. I'll probably remember the luging death and the problems with the execution. This is horrible and unfortunate - but I think it reflects a new found realization of event execution. In addition, name a sport in the Summer Olympics that people regularly die doing. Luge, skeleton, skiing, snowboarding are all dangerous. People get horribly injured doing these things - not from outside influence (cyclists and cars for example) - but by simply failing to perform - world class athletes die. This is not just drunk people doing stupid things - this is world class people performing at the highest level and not just having an accident - but horrible ones that cause death.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Club Trillion
I was not aware that the last man on the bench at Ohio State had a blog. So, my knowledge of said blog was lacking. Thus, I had to spend some time reading through it.
Here are my thoughts. First, I thought it was reasonably adequate. Not laugh out loud, fall of your chair funny - but consistently humourous. The section that I read appeared to be about NCAA compliance. I found his insight to be consistent with my own opinions on compliance and NCAA rules. I think that we have over-regulated college athletics.
Three things should be paramount. Kids get an education. Sports remain sacrosanct - no gambling, no illegal inducement, etc. Time is left for kids to be college students - and all that entails. Thus, I think giving kids a slight payment based on athletics revenues, or jersey sales, or something of the sort - is perfectly justified. However, like anything, the devil is in the details. My biggest anger at life is the way that our society, the NCAA, even schools have basically shifted ethical responsibility to compliance. We did everything by the rules, so if you managed to do bad things its not our fault. How bout we stop trying to regulate morality and instead create frameworks and push for stronger, better behavior. For example, if a kid on your team's mother dies and he can't afford the plane ticket, the coach should be able to pay for that kid to get home for the funeral. Coaches make a lot of money and they care deeply about their players; this is not an entitlement or inducement, this is simply good social policy. But, compliance and rules are written that say that's illegal. That's just poor regulation and then standing behind the letter of the law because you know the spirit of the law is completely against you.
Here are my thoughts. First, I thought it was reasonably adequate. Not laugh out loud, fall of your chair funny - but consistently humourous. The section that I read appeared to be about NCAA compliance. I found his insight to be consistent with my own opinions on compliance and NCAA rules. I think that we have over-regulated college athletics.
Three things should be paramount. Kids get an education. Sports remain sacrosanct - no gambling, no illegal inducement, etc. Time is left for kids to be college students - and all that entails. Thus, I think giving kids a slight payment based on athletics revenues, or jersey sales, or something of the sort - is perfectly justified. However, like anything, the devil is in the details. My biggest anger at life is the way that our society, the NCAA, even schools have basically shifted ethical responsibility to compliance. We did everything by the rules, so if you managed to do bad things its not our fault. How bout we stop trying to regulate morality and instead create frameworks and push for stronger, better behavior. For example, if a kid on your team's mother dies and he can't afford the plane ticket, the coach should be able to pay for that kid to get home for the funeral. Coaches make a lot of money and they care deeply about their players; this is not an entitlement or inducement, this is simply good social policy. But, compliance and rules are written that say that's illegal. That's just poor regulation and then standing behind the letter of the law because you know the spirit of the law is completely against you.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ubiquitous Internet
With all of the availability of the internet, I, too, find that I utilize the internet for many more functions today than even a couple of years ago - and certainly more than when I was a kid. But that's because there was no internet to speak of when I was Mary's age. Yahoo! was not a company when I started college. Netscape went public in 1995. Google in 2001. And, I still remember my introduction to online porn in my junior year of college...I was flabbergasted. I am not saying that I was an early adopter of any particular technology - but I am not a late adopter or someone that abhors the advent of new things. So, I'd say my experience was relatively mainstream.
So, when my sister who has grown up with uniquitous technology starts talking about how she has started to utilize it for everything - I sort of chuckle and remember the dark times...the times before I spent more than 6 hours of every day in front of a screen - TV, computer, mobile device, etc.
However, since I started working with technology companies, I spend a lot more time reading about the changing face of technology. And, I find that I am particularly excited for the time when there is a single device - like an iPad on steroids - that ties everything together - phone, tv, book, internet, Microsoft office suite, calendar, grocery list. More than anything, I am hoping for this because I have become the annoying guy that looks at his phone every time it buzzes. I have become the annoying guy that watches fifteen Tivo'd shows because he can. And, I have become the annoying guy that gets frustrated over the little things - because unlike my devices - real life is not generally totally under my control. So, I get mad at my kids because they do not follow a pausable schedule. And, I get frustrated at work because people don't understand why I am right and they are wrong. And most of all I find that my wife and I merely trade verbal texts of information when we see each other because we have our own screen to occupy our thoughts.
I am not calling for a ban on technology. I think it is useful and good. However, I would say that if you've only shifted your technology use to include weather rather than to include interaction...than you're probably still doing okay.
So, when my sister who has grown up with uniquitous technology starts talking about how she has started to utilize it for everything - I sort of chuckle and remember the dark times...the times before I spent more than 6 hours of every day in front of a screen - TV, computer, mobile device, etc.
However, since I started working with technology companies, I spend a lot more time reading about the changing face of technology. And, I find that I am particularly excited for the time when there is a single device - like an iPad on steroids - that ties everything together - phone, tv, book, internet, Microsoft office suite, calendar, grocery list. More than anything, I am hoping for this because I have become the annoying guy that looks at his phone every time it buzzes. I have become the annoying guy that watches fifteen Tivo'd shows because he can. And, I have become the annoying guy that gets frustrated over the little things - because unlike my devices - real life is not generally totally under my control. So, I get mad at my kids because they do not follow a pausable schedule. And, I get frustrated at work because people don't understand why I am right and they are wrong. And most of all I find that my wife and I merely trade verbal texts of information when we see each other because we have our own screen to occupy our thoughts.
I am not calling for a ban on technology. I think it is useful and good. However, I would say that if you've only shifted your technology use to include weather rather than to include interaction...than you're probably still doing okay.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
On Blisters
So, I don't want to turn this into a best blister ever post - but this story is one that some may have never heard and I wish that I could forget.
When I was a young man, I recognized that my wife is a considerably better athlete than me. This is hard on a young man's pride - particularly one that thinks of himself as athletically adept. [As an older man, I have realized that the best way to look more athletic standing next to my wife - is to make sure that she is about six to nine months pregnant all of the time. Hence, the five kids.] So in order to combat this problem, I wanted to consistently prove that I was athletic and willing to participate. Go for a walk. No problem. Through bear infested wilderness where the slower one gets eaten. Probably invite my sister Mary - but no problem. Go swimming. No problem. Go swimming where there are sharks in the water. Probably invite my father who swims a bit like a beached walrus - but no problem.
However, one early fall day - my girlfriend at the time (my wife now) asked if I wanted to go rollerblading. I asked if there was any risk of death by wild animal. She said, "probably not - but you could fall into the creek." I said, "No problem." Let's do it.
If you have seen Chuck, my wife at age 20 was the equivalent of "Captain Awesome." She was capable of any physical feat that I could possibly mention. I think 10 years of being married to a softee like myself has probably withered away some of those darn near bionic skills - but not all of them. She can still do one handed - whole body stands.
Anyway, we went to the Keystone trail at 72nd and Pacific. Flat and basically straight. And we started rollerblading. I had borrowed a pair from one of my brothers - probably Mike. I was wearing the appropriate gear - helmet, pads on my knees and probably on my wrists too - but I don't remember for sure on my hands. Anyway, we started to blade. And, I was trying to keep up with Cheryl - in attempt to protect my already battered pride. I might mention that at this point - Cheryl probably went rollerblading two or three times a week and this was my first time.
So, on my virgin run, we were cruising. And we came to a little dip where you cross under a street. I think it was 72nd Street. We had only gone a couple of blocks - maybe half a mile. We started to go down this little run and my leg started to shake. [Important note: when a sophomore in high school, I had a tremendously fat person roll onto my ankle doing a roll block. I was playing defensive tackle. Throughout the rest of high school, and to this day, I have tremendously weak ankles.] Anyway, my leg started to shake. Then it started to tremble - and pretty soon it was downright convulsive.
Well, rather than suffer the ignominity of driving right off the trail into the Papio creek. I sat down. That's right I sat down - not on my various padded areas - but on my right butt cheek. Did I mention that the trail is concrete.
Anywho, the resulting raspberry was truly epic. It may not be exactly a blister - but it was in the blister family. This thing was oozing puss for approximately 6 months - not an exaggeration. I am lucky that I did not die from gangrene (particularly after watching Man v. Wild where a cut can mean death in the jungle in mere hours).
To give you an idea of the size of this - I still have a scar on my leg/butt that is approximately the size of the bottom of a regular sized coffee mug. At its most disgusting (about two days after the accident - I had a puss delivering monster that extended from about two inches above the back of my knee to mid-way up my butt on the right side. Truly awful. Worst of all - I could not watch the ooze. I just had to change the pads and smell it. Yuck.
When I was a young man, I recognized that my wife is a considerably better athlete than me. This is hard on a young man's pride - particularly one that thinks of himself as athletically adept. [As an older man, I have realized that the best way to look more athletic standing next to my wife - is to make sure that she is about six to nine months pregnant all of the time. Hence, the five kids.] So in order to combat this problem, I wanted to consistently prove that I was athletic and willing to participate. Go for a walk. No problem. Through bear infested wilderness where the slower one gets eaten. Probably invite my sister Mary - but no problem. Go swimming. No problem. Go swimming where there are sharks in the water. Probably invite my father who swims a bit like a beached walrus - but no problem.
However, one early fall day - my girlfriend at the time (my wife now) asked if I wanted to go rollerblading. I asked if there was any risk of death by wild animal. She said, "probably not - but you could fall into the creek." I said, "No problem." Let's do it.
If you have seen Chuck, my wife at age 20 was the equivalent of "Captain Awesome." She was capable of any physical feat that I could possibly mention. I think 10 years of being married to a softee like myself has probably withered away some of those darn near bionic skills - but not all of them. She can still do one handed - whole body stands.
Anyway, we went to the Keystone trail at 72nd and Pacific. Flat and basically straight. And we started rollerblading. I had borrowed a pair from one of my brothers - probably Mike. I was wearing the appropriate gear - helmet, pads on my knees and probably on my wrists too - but I don't remember for sure on my hands. Anyway, we started to blade. And, I was trying to keep up with Cheryl - in attempt to protect my already battered pride. I might mention that at this point - Cheryl probably went rollerblading two or three times a week and this was my first time.
So, on my virgin run, we were cruising. And we came to a little dip where you cross under a street. I think it was 72nd Street. We had only gone a couple of blocks - maybe half a mile. We started to go down this little run and my leg started to shake. [Important note: when a sophomore in high school, I had a tremendously fat person roll onto my ankle doing a roll block. I was playing defensive tackle. Throughout the rest of high school, and to this day, I have tremendously weak ankles.] Anyway, my leg started to shake. Then it started to tremble - and pretty soon it was downright convulsive.
Well, rather than suffer the ignominity of driving right off the trail into the Papio creek. I sat down. That's right I sat down - not on my various padded areas - but on my right butt cheek. Did I mention that the trail is concrete.
Anywho, the resulting raspberry was truly epic. It may not be exactly a blister - but it was in the blister family. This thing was oozing puss for approximately 6 months - not an exaggeration. I am lucky that I did not die from gangrene (particularly after watching Man v. Wild where a cut can mean death in the jungle in mere hours).
To give you an idea of the size of this - I still have a scar on my leg/butt that is approximately the size of the bottom of a regular sized coffee mug. At its most disgusting (about two days after the accident - I had a puss delivering monster that extended from about two inches above the back of my knee to mid-way up my butt on the right side. Truly awful. Worst of all - I could not watch the ooze. I just had to change the pads and smell it. Yuck.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
On Handball
Congratulations to my sister, Mary, who has identified an obscure sport that has the potential to be quite a fun opportunity for excellence. Carpe Diem!
So, I did a bit of research and there are 0 handball associations in Nebraska or Iowa. I also looked at the video of the gold medal game at the women's National Championship. I think this could be an area for the region to dominate and get some national and world attention. See it here.
Training for my daughters starts now. CYO handball may be a real possibility.
So, I did a bit of research and there are 0 handball associations in Nebraska or Iowa. I also looked at the video of the gold medal game at the women's National Championship. I think this could be an area for the region to dominate and get some national and world attention. See it here.
Training for my daughters starts now. CYO handball may be a real possibility.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
On drinking out of someone else's coffee cup
Today, at the office, Pickles worked the front desk. So, I went out to talk with her while I ate a plate of fruit and nuts. I am a gatherer (of hunter-gatherer fame). While we were chatting, I looked over and saw a coffee cup. I drink a significant amount of coffee, and while I did not remember this specific cup from my past - I figured it was mine since it was white with a big red O!. It was empty - so I went in back and filled it up. I then finished my plate of food, conversation and the coffee.
I returned to my desk and lo and behold, my coffee cup (white with a bright red O!) was on my desk resting peacefully undisturbed. Oops. The cup I drank from was from a rather large man who was a bit unkempt. So, when I die of strange mouth related diseases - you will know the rest of the story. Apparently, he was not probably someone that I would regularly share my coffee cup - which happens to be a relatively exclusive group to begin with.
While feet do not gross me out - drinking coffee from a dirty old man's cup - apparently does. The feeling is a bit hard to describe because it has a lingering effect that sits in both your mouth and stomach. It reminds me of eating something with hair in it and finding the hair unfortunately in your mouth. You can't really help it and yet you feel like you are less of a human being due to your error. Moreover, your brain tells your stomach that whatever made it through your baleen pre-hair actually is the equivalent of wet hair. Bad, bad, bad. And hair - particularly wet - grosses me out.
Pickles laughed a lot at my error. And of course used the Pickles voice to greet someone that happened to walk in at roughly that exact moment. Overall, low moment in Chamber West adventure.
I returned to my desk and lo and behold, my coffee cup (white with a bright red O!) was on my desk resting peacefully undisturbed. Oops. The cup I drank from was from a rather large man who was a bit unkempt. So, when I die of strange mouth related diseases - you will know the rest of the story. Apparently, he was not probably someone that I would regularly share my coffee cup - which happens to be a relatively exclusive group to begin with.
While feet do not gross me out - drinking coffee from a dirty old man's cup - apparently does. The feeling is a bit hard to describe because it has a lingering effect that sits in both your mouth and stomach. It reminds me of eating something with hair in it and finding the hair unfortunately in your mouth. You can't really help it and yet you feel like you are less of a human being due to your error. Moreover, your brain tells your stomach that whatever made it through your baleen pre-hair actually is the equivalent of wet hair. Bad, bad, bad. And hair - particularly wet - grosses me out.
Pickles laughed a lot at my error. And of course used the Pickles voice to greet someone that happened to walk in at roughly that exact moment. Overall, low moment in Chamber West adventure.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Guest Post on SPN
http://www.siliconprairienews.com/2010/01/building-an-entrepreneurial-ecosystem-what-does-success-look-like
Check out my guest post on SPN.
Check out my guest post on SPN.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Sick Kids
My kids are currently all ill with the stomach flu. Thus, our house is an absolute germ vacation right now. There is vomit in the hallways and on the floors. There are random emergency buckets scattered amongst the toys. It's wretched.
Here's what I don't understand. First, at about 9pm last night - my son, James, came down to tell me that my son, Aidan, had just vomitted in his sleep. So, I go up and Aidan is still sleeping amongst his vomit laden sheets. Then, I rouse him enough to clean off his face and get his clothes off. I start working on the sheets and the like - and my son, James, who has spent the better part of the day whimpering in the middle of his vomitting says "this is the worst thing that I have ever smelled." Now I am no expert but all vomit smells terrible - and Aidan's was not unusually putrid. But, if you had just spent the day feeling wretched - don't you think a little empathy would be possible? Not James. He kept asking analytical vomit questions - such as "what's that?" - when he looked at the giant mess or - "was that an unusually chunky vomit, dad?".
Second, at about 10:30 after cleaning up the Aidan' vomits (#1 and #2 and #3), I decided it was safe to go to bed. So, I went in to give my oldest daughter, Martha, a kiss. I literally bend over to give her a kiss - I am inches from her ear (she is on her side) and I realize that there is something that appears to be oatmeal - lying next to her mouth. This is not my first rodeo - so I immediately recoil and examine from a far. Yes, vomit and it has run down her pillow and is basically laying like a mat beneath her. Question two - how can someone sleep in their own vomit? This strikes me as impossible - but two separate instances in a span of 2 hours suggest that vomitting may actually help my kids sleep more soundly. Absurd. Anyway, I had to wake her up to clean her up. And she asked me - "what's that?" I said vomit, and she said - "who vomitted?" I said, "well, Martha you did." She said, "Oh, that's gross. What's vomit?" I did my best to explain to her the origins of vomit in the nether regions of her belly. She obviously did not get it - but she's only 3 so I except her inability to grasp the inner workings of her digestive system.
Anyway, that brings us to more of an analysis of vomit and illness. Younger kids tend to simply play through their vomitting. Martha essentially went right back to sleep as did Aidan. Cheryl and James, on the other hand, did not. Both spent about 24 hours in agony. Why is that? How is it possible that a child that would weep for 15 minutes if she stubbed her toe or scratched her arm - could simply roll over with vomit still in her hair, missing her shirt (because it had to be removed - and I was not fast enough to put on a new one) and go right to sleep. Its just amazing. I feel like I have to sit and clear my mind and shower after my kids' incidents - and they roll right back into bed and go right to sleep - until the next gastro-intestinal explosion. Amazing.
Here's what I don't understand. First, at about 9pm last night - my son, James, came down to tell me that my son, Aidan, had just vomitted in his sleep. So, I go up and Aidan is still sleeping amongst his vomit laden sheets. Then, I rouse him enough to clean off his face and get his clothes off. I start working on the sheets and the like - and my son, James, who has spent the better part of the day whimpering in the middle of his vomitting says "this is the worst thing that I have ever smelled." Now I am no expert but all vomit smells terrible - and Aidan's was not unusually putrid. But, if you had just spent the day feeling wretched - don't you think a little empathy would be possible? Not James. He kept asking analytical vomit questions - such as "what's that?" - when he looked at the giant mess or - "was that an unusually chunky vomit, dad?".
Second, at about 10:30 after cleaning up the Aidan' vomits (#1 and #2 and #3), I decided it was safe to go to bed. So, I went in to give my oldest daughter, Martha, a kiss. I literally bend over to give her a kiss - I am inches from her ear (she is on her side) and I realize that there is something that appears to be oatmeal - lying next to her mouth. This is not my first rodeo - so I immediately recoil and examine from a far. Yes, vomit and it has run down her pillow and is basically laying like a mat beneath her. Question two - how can someone sleep in their own vomit? This strikes me as impossible - but two separate instances in a span of 2 hours suggest that vomitting may actually help my kids sleep more soundly. Absurd. Anyway, I had to wake her up to clean her up. And she asked me - "what's that?" I said vomit, and she said - "who vomitted?" I said, "well, Martha you did." She said, "Oh, that's gross. What's vomit?" I did my best to explain to her the origins of vomit in the nether regions of her belly. She obviously did not get it - but she's only 3 so I except her inability to grasp the inner workings of her digestive system.
Anyway, that brings us to more of an analysis of vomit and illness. Younger kids tend to simply play through their vomitting. Martha essentially went right back to sleep as did Aidan. Cheryl and James, on the other hand, did not. Both spent about 24 hours in agony. Why is that? How is it possible that a child that would weep for 15 minutes if she stubbed her toe or scratched her arm - could simply roll over with vomit still in her hair, missing her shirt (because it had to be removed - and I was not fast enough to put on a new one) and go right to sleep. Its just amazing. I feel like I have to sit and clear my mind and shower after my kids' incidents - and they roll right back into bed and go right to sleep - until the next gastro-intestinal explosion. Amazing.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Things to Ponder
Last night my son, James, was sleeping in the p90x Cherry Bomb starting position with his shirt pulled over his head – in order to allow his mother to provide him with “back scratches.” Thing to ponder – how do kids sleep in their various yoga-esque positions? Aidan often falls asleep as if he literally narcolepsied onto the bed.
This morning my son, Dennis, couldn’t figure out how to put on his shirt. So he began a long slow Imperial Death March (Darth Vader) lament on the stairs outside of my room. When I came out and helped him, he gave me a “oh…thank you” and then the Star Wars theme song in a happy tune. Denny provides his own background music for all activities throughout the day – favorites are Star Wars music and Indiana Jones music for jumping off furniture or using whips. Thing to ponder-
Martha likes to “shake her cake” – pull up her dress and wiggle her butt. Does anybody know where this comes from? Thing to ponder – should I be worried already? A colleague told me that I should plan on putting her on birth control at 12…
This morning my son, Dennis, couldn’t figure out how to put on his shirt. So he began a long slow Imperial Death March (Darth Vader) lament on the stairs outside of my room. When I came out and helped him, he gave me a “oh…thank you” and then the Star Wars theme song in a happy tune. Denny provides his own background music for all activities throughout the day – favorites are Star Wars music and Indiana Jones music for jumping off furniture or using whips. Thing to ponder-
Martha likes to “shake her cake” – pull up her dress and wiggle her butt. Does anybody know where this comes from? Thing to ponder – should I be worried already? A colleague told me that I should plan on putting her on birth control at 12…
On Pickles
Pickles told me that my blog was boring. So, in order to be funnier, I’ll tell more stories about her – thereby completely obliterating any negative comments on my blog at work. Brilliant.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Pescovegans
Cheryl and I have decided to eat healthier, and so, we are attempting a pescovegan (pes CO va gen) diet. This means that we will not be eating meat, except fish, or dairy, except eggs. Why are we doing this? Because she told me to...
Actually, I think the purpose is to create a strange diet that requires one to consider each bite and handful of food - not just for its taste, but its nutritional content. In many ways, I think that you could do any other diet that has the same basic principles and have success in losing weight - but I am not a kinesiologist...so there you go.
One of the real advantages of this diet is that food tends to taste better. Part of this is the spices and the attempt at creating flavor - whereas before the fall back was cheese or butter. Thus, I think that I have used more oregano, curry and cayenne in the last three days - then I did the 4th quarter of 2009. In addition, I think that this sort of diet almost always means more asian style dishes. Again, I like Chinese, Thai and Indian as well as stir-fry - so this is a winner for me.
In addition, Cheryl has started the year with a gusto from a workout perspective. We do a weekly competion for minutes worked out - this week she had just shy of 300...that's pretty good for us. That's nearly 45 minutes for all seven days...I had a measly 175 - which is actually pretty good for me.
So, I'll keep you posted on the pescovegan diet and the workout totals...By the way, scoreboard - Tom won last year (1 - nil).
Actually, I think the purpose is to create a strange diet that requires one to consider each bite and handful of food - not just for its taste, but its nutritional content. In many ways, I think that you could do any other diet that has the same basic principles and have success in losing weight - but I am not a kinesiologist...so there you go.
One of the real advantages of this diet is that food tends to taste better. Part of this is the spices and the attempt at creating flavor - whereas before the fall back was cheese or butter. Thus, I think that I have used more oregano, curry and cayenne in the last three days - then I did the 4th quarter of 2009. In addition, I think that this sort of diet almost always means more asian style dishes. Again, I like Chinese, Thai and Indian as well as stir-fry - so this is a winner for me.
In addition, Cheryl has started the year with a gusto from a workout perspective. We do a weekly competion for minutes worked out - this week she had just shy of 300...that's pretty good for us. That's nearly 45 minutes for all seven days...I had a measly 175 - which is actually pretty good for me.
So, I'll keep you posted on the pescovegan diet and the workout totals...By the way, scoreboard - Tom won last year (1 - nil).
On Star Wars the Clone Wars
Over Christmas, my kids watched the Mummy and the Mummy Returns. My brother (the doctor one) called Mummy a visual sedative - because my screaming, running, jumping hooligan children - sat down, mouths open and were quiet. Not just sort of quite - but completely totally transfixed...
I have seen that this strategy does not always work (ie movies that Martha or James are not at all interested) - but in particular, Star Wars the Clone Wars on Friday nights on Cartoon Network appears to be our regular 30 minutes of silence and peace. This is a particularly useful period of time because it gives my wife and I a chance to clean the kitchen, bedrooms, do whatever. Its like being alone in our own home. Its sort of amazing respite.
Now let me be clear - I do not advise that you simply put kids in front of the TV to turn them into zombies for hours a day...but occassionally, like once a week, it is a blessing.
In addition, I find that if I TiVo the Star Wars show - I can watch it...
I have seen that this strategy does not always work (ie movies that Martha or James are not at all interested) - but in particular, Star Wars the Clone Wars on Friday nights on Cartoon Network appears to be our regular 30 minutes of silence and peace. This is a particularly useful period of time because it gives my wife and I a chance to clean the kitchen, bedrooms, do whatever. Its like being alone in our own home. Its sort of amazing respite.
Now let me be clear - I do not advise that you simply put kids in front of the TV to turn them into zombies for hours a day...but occassionally, like once a week, it is a blessing.
In addition, I find that if I TiVo the Star Wars show - I can watch it...
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