What's in a nickname

So, when my dad originally wrote the article that Mary posted on her blog, I helped him. So, I had some influence on the actual outcome of the original list - although not that much. However, it has long lived in my mind as one of the more interesting things about universities. I personally have always wished that universities without much tradition - read basically all of the schools in the ACC and Big East (football) - should have to rename themselves about every 10 or 15 years until something really sticks.

So, to honor Mary's request, I have analyzed the nicknames of the Big Six conferences. First, some ground rules - if your name came up more than once in this group - you were out. Or, if there was at least one other school that had your nickname that immediately jumped into my mind, you were out. Or if there was a professional team in any sport that had the same nickname then you were out.

So immediately, some schools simply dropped off the list:

Arizona, Kentucky, Northwestern, Kansas State Wildcats (OUT)
Missouri, Auburn, LSU, Clemson Tigers (OUT)
Georgia and Mississippi State Bulldogs (OUT)
Connecticut and Washington Huskies (OUT)
Texas A&M Aggies, Boston College Eagles, Oklahoma State Cowboys (OUT)


So 23% of the schools found themselves immediately out due to a lack of originality.

Next, there are some schools that fail the political correctness test. Note well, I actually like at least one of these nicknames, but you just can't name yourself something that is offensive to a significant group of people

Illinois Fightin Illini, Florida State Seminoles, Tennessee (and West Virginia - though that's just weird) Volunteers, and Mississippi Rebels (OUT)

Then, there are some odd nicknames that must be inside jokes to a group of old men who played a fraternity joke that led to a certain nickname getting chosen. I call this the Siena Green Plague phenomenom. In 1988, Siena was re-nicknaming itself when a severe illness swept the campus causing the school to have to close the games off to the public. Thus, the campus chose to name the team the green plague, the administration thought that might be bad for recruitment and called the team the Saints. Puh-lease.

Anyway,

Minnesota Golden Gophers (really an infesting rodent), Iowa Hawkeyes (not Hawks, just their eyes), Ohio State Buckeyes (again eyes of a buck, or how 'bout the tree), Nebraska Cornhuskers, South Carolina Gamecocks (definitely a fraternity joke), Kansas Jayhawks, Cincinnati Bearcats, South Florida Bulls (at least this animal exists...just not in Florida), Wake Forest Deamon Deacons, North Carolina Tarheels, Virginia Tech Hokies (possibly a category killer here), Maryland Terrapins, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Syracuse Orangemen (I guess to be against the Notre Dame Fighting Catholics), Rutgers Scarlet Knights (uh-huh). Okay, these names are all terrible and a bit ridiculous. None are intimidating and worse, some are down right ridiculous. All OUT.

Okay, so now to my list of good ones - in reverse order:


Washington State Cougars 27 This is unoriginal - but not automatically out. See #3 for how to do this right.

Pittsburgh Panthers 26 This is also unoriginal - but at least there are pink and inspector clousseau

Louisville Cardinals 25 A bird is not tough or scary - weak. And if virtually every single other place in US could claim the cardinals then your mascot sucks.

Duke Blue Devils 24 Iteration on a theme - why not teal or aquamarine devils? Plus, I just don't like Duke.

There is no #23 - none of these deserve my lucky number.

Alabama Crimson Tide 22 This probably should have been eliminated in the last category.

Indiana Hoosiers 21 At least it is unique - but it has not mystery or meaning. Its like saying we're Indiana Tunglers or Modzillas.

Purdue Boilermakers 20 Engineering school - get it. This is actually pretty good - but not really good.

Stanford Cardinal 19 I admire a school that would make a sedentary - thought long living - thing your mascot

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 18 Yellow Jackets are pesky - kind of like Georgia Tech - which as a school, I admire.

Wisconsin Badgers 17 Mean animal that can do serious damage when cornered - plus its not dependent on an allergy (see yellow jacket) to have an effect.

Oklahoma Sooners 16 This is locational (like Hoosiers) but has a historical meaning. I think it also is great for every other school's sororities to be able to wear a crossed out sign that says "sooners".

Michigan State Spartans 15 Why not Athenians? Because Spartans kick ass.

Iowa State Cyclones 14 Tornadoes/Cyclones are devastating, geographical and a force of nature. Too bad ISU's sports teams are not.

Arkansas Razorbacks 13 Original, geographical and who can forget Dana Altman calling the Hogs.

Florida Gators 12 According to Bear Grylls there are millions of alligators (a fearsome predator) living in Florida. That's geographical and frightening. Plus, Gator Chomp is a good traditional way of integrating scary animal into cheering ritual.

Vanderbilt Commodores 11 The school was started by Cornelius Vanderbilt - so accurate. And this is about winning the academic struggle in the SEC since they won't ever win the athletic.

Texas Tech Red Raiders 10 Crazy people from lubbock deserve to have a nickname that threatens Oklahoma and the law.

USC Trojans 9 Trojans lost to Spartans - but the crimson and gold colors bury the green and cream. Trojans rule - until the wily Odysseus gives 'um a gift (oh wait that's what they do with their players).

UCLA Bruins 8 I am not sure if there were ever bears in SoCal. But Bruins is a good solid nickname.

Arizona State Sun Devils 7 Okay - so where the Aquamarine Devils of Duke got it wrong - here's an example of someone that got it right. Sun Devils. Great One - ASU.

Colorado Buffaloes 6 This is a good solid animal mascot - original, appopriate, powerful and integrated into the atmosphere.

North Carolina State Wolfpack 5 I love the idea of the team being stronger than the individual in this nickname.

Texas Longhorns 4 Solid, appropriate for the middle of nowhere Texas. Add Burnt Orange and the great logo - and you have an icon.

Penn State Nittany Lions 3 Again a regional iteration on a theme. If you are going to name yourselves - Tigers, Bulldogs, Bears, etc. own it with the adjective.

Michigan Wolverines 2 Great fight song. Great colors. Great nickname.

California Golden Bears 1 Best nickname - geographical (there are/were bears in NoCal). They are big, mean and powerful. They have the Golden adjective which suggests athletic success and sunshine. Perfect.

Sorry this took so long. I did a significant amount of analysis to get to this list. And, I did it in time for Selection Sunday - the party.