Do you ever receive a gift from someone who unexpectedly nails the gift? In my family, everyone wanted Beth to draw their name growing up because she was an excellent Secret Santa and gift-giver. By the way, again this year, about half of the Chapman clan guessed Mary or Beth as their Secret Santa...suggesting perhaps certain Chapmans are both better and more desirable as Secret Santa's. However, it also suggests that perhaps their is a certain type of reputational mystique around certain people - giving them the benefit of all good secret santaing. I wonder if perhaps its like Gonzaga in the Top 25 despite getting hammered by good teams due to past history.
However, there are some that might fear a certain someone giving them a gift. I have found that receiving gifts from my in-laws is particularly awkward. I don't know why. I really like Ed and Louana and generally we get along very well. They don't give bad gifts usually. I just find the process awkward because they don't as they say in Avatar (the movie not the cartoon) "see me".
But I must say that my father-in-law nailed his gift to me this year. There is a price limit and a draw. So you don't know who you have and frankly, its hard to hit a home run because of the limit. But, excellent effort by Ed this year. He got me two things. FIFA Soccer 2009 (I know that it is not the newest version) was a brilliant stroke, and then Bill Bryson's "In a Sunburned Country" - possibly the funniest book that I have ever read and do not own (until now). This was such a truly extraordinary effort - that I thought it deserved mentioning in public and noted forevermore. Ed Neesen well-gifted. Thanks.
I might also add that I now own two copies of Mr. Bryson's work - because my sister Mary - a fair SS in her own right - gave me her gift one day after Xmas. I now have a loanable copy and a sacred scripture copy for my early morning ritualistic perusal. If you don't know this book, it comes highly recommended and you can read it and savor it like a fine cut of meat - slowly and deliberately, savoring each passage - or simply devour it in one wild carnivorous feast of reading. Whatever suits your fancy.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
On snow
I really don't care for the cold, but I don't mind snow. Some dread the twenty inches of snow currently inhabiting their Omaha yards - but not me, I kind of like it. I particularly like taking out my much too large (unless you have five kids) Ford Expedition and driving over big snowy lumps in the road. I hope none of them are igloos or inhabited my small woodland creatures.
I also like sending my little kids into the backyard with the sole purpose of losing Star Wars figures in the Hoth like landscape that is the five foot high drifts in our backyard. Today after about a week of play - these drifts have little 4 and 6 yr old outlines cut into them from the brave ones breaking free of their snowy prisons.
In addition, I like watching snow fall. I think the peek out your window from behind the blinds to see if it has snowed or is snowing is an anticipatory moment that every person should receive. When I was a child, that look was the moment of truth regarding school. And today, it is the moment of truth regarding how early I have to get up to shovel. But over the holidays, its just one more great reason to sleep just a little bit later.
My kids have been sledding a couple of times in the last couple of weeks, and two weeks ago, I joined them. I do not remember what I thought when I was eight - plunging down the hill at Prairie Lane School - but I am fairly certain that I was not considering the co-pay options on a broken ankle caused by catching my boot on an outlying snow barnacle. So maybe some of the joy is gone from sledding...but I still have the Expedition.
I also like sending my little kids into the backyard with the sole purpose of losing Star Wars figures in the Hoth like landscape that is the five foot high drifts in our backyard. Today after about a week of play - these drifts have little 4 and 6 yr old outlines cut into them from the brave ones breaking free of their snowy prisons.
In addition, I like watching snow fall. I think the peek out your window from behind the blinds to see if it has snowed or is snowing is an anticipatory moment that every person should receive. When I was a child, that look was the moment of truth regarding school. And today, it is the moment of truth regarding how early I have to get up to shovel. But over the holidays, its just one more great reason to sleep just a little bit later.
My kids have been sledding a couple of times in the last couple of weeks, and two weeks ago, I joined them. I do not remember what I thought when I was eight - plunging down the hill at Prairie Lane School - but I am fairly certain that I was not considering the co-pay options on a broken ankle caused by catching my boot on an outlying snow barnacle. So maybe some of the joy is gone from sledding...but I still have the Expedition.
On fame and it being a small world
My family appeared in the Omaha World-Herald over the weekend. And while I would not consider this a monumental "accomplishment", I have been overwhelmed by the number of people congratulating me. Thank you for these congratulations! I was just trying to help the team - doing whatever was necessary for us to be successful.
Now, here's the strange part...today my wife told me that one of her friends upon reading the article, mentioned to her husband (who I assume does not know Cheryl) that she knows us and that her husband did not believe her. And with this disbelief made my wife's friend - show her connection to Cheryl on Facebook. Omaha is not a very big place - and I kind of think that anyone could know almost anyone else.
One of my favorite stories about this truth is from Steve Pedersen who knows Susie Buffett who is the daughter of Warren Buffett. Mr. Buffett was trying to get rid of some of his old furniture (I am sure that it is Nebraska Furniture Mart purchased), and so, in stepped Steve - "a family friend" - who acquired Mr. Buffett's furniture and now utilizes this furniture in his own house. This sort of connection crosses three generations and no obvious familial connection. Billions of dollars on one side and emo music maven on the other. However, honestly...in Omaha...anyone could know anyone or recieve their furniture. So, its not really that surprising to me - other than the fact that I know Steve.
Which is why my wife and I are so surprised that anyone would find us worth writing about or worthy of "knowing" in a famous sense. So, thanks again and I hope this is not a post that is considered too egotistical.
Now, here's the strange part...today my wife told me that one of her friends upon reading the article, mentioned to her husband (who I assume does not know Cheryl) that she knows us and that her husband did not believe her. And with this disbelief made my wife's friend - show her connection to Cheryl on Facebook. Omaha is not a very big place - and I kind of think that anyone could know almost anyone else.
One of my favorite stories about this truth is from Steve Pedersen who knows Susie Buffett who is the daughter of Warren Buffett. Mr. Buffett was trying to get rid of some of his old furniture (I am sure that it is Nebraska Furniture Mart purchased), and so, in stepped Steve - "a family friend" - who acquired Mr. Buffett's furniture and now utilizes this furniture in his own house. This sort of connection crosses three generations and no obvious familial connection. Billions of dollars on one side and emo music maven on the other. However, honestly...in Omaha...anyone could know anyone or recieve their furniture. So, its not really that surprising to me - other than the fact that I know Steve.
Which is why my wife and I are so surprised that anyone would find us worth writing about or worthy of "knowing" in a famous sense. So, thanks again and I hope this is not a post that is considered too egotistical.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
On my job
As part of my job, I have been asked to write a guest blog on Silicon Prairie News. If you do not know about this blog, I'd highly recommend that you become a regular reader because it is interesting and provides great information regarding the start-up community in Omaha.
On my house
I live in the house that my parents' owned before me. My family, in one form or another, has lived in this house since 1984. That is 25 years. And in that time, there have been almost no significant changes. It is likely that my wife, family and I will live in this house for a while...I'd guess a minimum of 20-23 years (approximate time for my youngest to get through college).
So, if you were living in your home from childhood and you could change things over a period of time - what would you change first? In addition, if you knew or suspected that you had a 20 year window to make these changes - would that impact your thought process?
I find that there are things that I'd love to change - such as adding a bathroom in the basement and a wet bar or having a library or more space with fewer rooms. But, when you know you pretty want to re-do everything but keep the continuity the first couple of steps are really challenging because you don't want to destroy the existing heritage. So, how do you keep the essence and character but slowly evolve the place to be more usable.
My immediate thoughts are better efficiency - windows, lighting, insulation, roofing and a bigger water heater. However, I am open to other people's thoughts. What would you do if you were in my shoes with your own childhood home?
So, if you were living in your home from childhood and you could change things over a period of time - what would you change first? In addition, if you knew or suspected that you had a 20 year window to make these changes - would that impact your thought process?
I find that there are things that I'd love to change - such as adding a bathroom in the basement and a wet bar or having a library or more space with fewer rooms. But, when you know you pretty want to re-do everything but keep the continuity the first couple of steps are really challenging because you don't want to destroy the existing heritage. So, how do you keep the essence and character but slowly evolve the place to be more usable.
My immediate thoughts are better efficiency - windows, lighting, insulation, roofing and a bigger water heater. However, I am open to other people's thoughts. What would you do if you were in my shoes with your own childhood home?
Homelessness
I am on the board of the Siena/Francis House in Omaha which is a homeless shelter that also has a women's shelter and an addiction rehabilitation program.
And so, I think about homelessness somewhat frequently. And, I wonder if it is a necessary thing based on capitalism and the possibility that capatilism necessitates a super low class that simply fails to integrate into the system or if homelessness is really based on deep-seated psychological problems that would result in homeless people in any economic system in any period of time. This is not a statement about an individual homeless person but homelessness as a whole and its underlying causes. If you go back to first principles, is homelessness caused primarily through neglect or systemwide breakdowns or is it caused because of the existence of certain types of disabilities that will regularly exist at the margins of organized society. This is not a statement of position - just a thought experiment.
I don't really know the answer, but would be curious about any thoughts or responses.
On a related topic, if you could impact homelessness in your community - what would you do? I have the unique ability to push for some measure of effort in Omaha, and I'd love ideas to help the community's homeless population.
And so, I think about homelessness somewhat frequently. And, I wonder if it is a necessary thing based on capitalism and the possibility that capatilism necessitates a super low class that simply fails to integrate into the system or if homelessness is really based on deep-seated psychological problems that would result in homeless people in any economic system in any period of time. This is not a statement about an individual homeless person but homelessness as a whole and its underlying causes. If you go back to first principles, is homelessness caused primarily through neglect or systemwide breakdowns or is it caused because of the existence of certain types of disabilities that will regularly exist at the margins of organized society. This is not a statement of position - just a thought experiment.
I don't really know the answer, but would be curious about any thoughts or responses.
On a related topic, if you could impact homelessness in your community - what would you do? I have the unique ability to push for some measure of effort in Omaha, and I'd love ideas to help the community's homeless population.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Snow
What would happen if Houston had 12 inches of snow? Currently, the news forecast in Omaha is for a mere 10-12 inches. I think most things will be cancelled or closed tomorrow and Wednesday. And, I am not so secretly (although I would not tell my children) hoping that the Christmas Cantata is rescheduled.
I remember that we had flurries one time when we lived in Houston, and the driving was simply atrocious. People were basically pulling over to the side of the road and abandoning their cars. I remember also a small contingent that moved to the far right and started driving about 10 miles per hour...Unfortunately, neither of those comments are jokes.
What I most remember about the cold in Houston - is the coats. About this time of year, my fiance (Cheryl who is now my wife) and I attended a religious ceremony at St. Michael's Catholic Church in the Galleria area of Houston. It was a normal Sunday - nothing particularly special about the day or the season (maybe the second week of advent - but there wasn't even a pink candle lighting). I remember walking in wearing a sweater and khaki pants (standard fare for the typical mass at St. Michael's) - right at the buzzer - as the priest was preparing to enter. I looked around and there was a mixed crowd. No jokes. I remember an entire family wearing ski jackets - gloves, hats, boots (although I don't think they were ski boots). They were about one-third of the way back. I also remember full mink coats, hats and gloves by the dozen. The temperature was 45, and I think that it got over 50 in the afternoon. That was the moment that I realized that I was not in Kansas anymore - God forbid the frozen tundra that is Nebraska this week.
I remember that we had flurries one time when we lived in Houston, and the driving was simply atrocious. People were basically pulling over to the side of the road and abandoning their cars. I remember also a small contingent that moved to the far right and started driving about 10 miles per hour...Unfortunately, neither of those comments are jokes.
What I most remember about the cold in Houston - is the coats. About this time of year, my fiance (Cheryl who is now my wife) and I attended a religious ceremony at St. Michael's Catholic Church in the Galleria area of Houston. It was a normal Sunday - nothing particularly special about the day or the season (maybe the second week of advent - but there wasn't even a pink candle lighting). I remember walking in wearing a sweater and khaki pants (standard fare for the typical mass at St. Michael's) - right at the buzzer - as the priest was preparing to enter. I looked around and there was a mixed crowd. No jokes. I remember an entire family wearing ski jackets - gloves, hats, boots (although I don't think they were ski boots). They were about one-third of the way back. I also remember full mink coats, hats and gloves by the dozen. The temperature was 45, and I think that it got over 50 in the afternoon. That was the moment that I realized that I was not in Kansas anymore - God forbid the frozen tundra that is Nebraska this week.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Being a Brother
Despite the apparent attribute of calling Mary a Visigoth, I was not one of the brothers that her blog mentioned. I do not think that Mary is a Visigoth. I think that she is a bit misunderstood. She needs a strong man who is comfortable with a woman knowing more about housebuilding, athletics and other manly things. In addition, she does tend to be a bit sarcastic on rare occasions. However, who cares about men...she is only 22. I say - "live it up" - be yourself and don't worry about your silly brothers.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Spurs Tie With Villa 1-1
Spurs tied with Aston Villa 1-1. Query: Where is Aston Villa located?
I find a couple of things to be true. First, not really understanding soccer well, I can watch a game and see momentum and the quality of a team - like Spurs today in the second half. Yet, I have literally no idea why Spurs are dominating. Unlike basketball or football - where I can see the little things. I have no idea what those little things in soccer are. So, I can get crazy excited - more excited than watching the Huskers or Bluejays - watching Spurs. Today with my daughter sleeping and my kids running loose in the house. I suddenly shouted - GOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL! - Spurs tie the game when Dawson struck in the 77th minute. I jumped off the couch and did a bit of a jig. I never do this for any other sport but soccer. When the Huskers score an amazing touchdown or do something insanely stupid. I'll clap (in joy or anger) and maybe say something like - "How about that!" But never the heart felt complete joy of a goal in soccer.
Second, on a parenting note, Tivo is ruining me as a parent. Today, the Spurs game did not tape because one of my sons threw his Wii controller in disgust this morning when my wife told him that he had to turn off the game. This directive from my wife came after an hour of Wii and just following the words - "We're going to go get donuts so turn off the ..." [My wife upon reading this post - said that Aidan did not actually throw anything and did not throw a tantrum. She said that he "pouted". But, the point of the story is not lost based on mere facts.] Not realizing his error - both in throwing the controller and in potentially ruining my afternoon's entertainment - my son threw a temper tantrum. This was not an epic one - but a small one that led to a Wii blackout until the boys had cleaned and played for two hours outside. Anyway, to the bad parenting part - upon discovering that my son had dislodged the Infrared reader that allows our TiVo to control the cable box and thereby preventing the TiVo from taping Spurs on Fox Soccer - I melted down. I think I may have simply banned all fun in the world. I can't remember exactly who or what I banned buy I pretty much told James (not even the one who did the damage) that he needs to take more responsibility for the actions of his younger brother re: the Wii. Therefore, Wii shall be banned until I decide that it is not. These types of ridiculous parenting blunders should be past me. I have five kids. But, I have one of these completely ridiculous self-centered habeas corpus moments about once every two weeks. I have banned my son (typically its James) from having friends over until after Christmas in October. I have told them that they will be forced to do their own laundry. Ridiculous. Generally, these sorts of statements don't come out in anger. Almost never is my voice raised. I am not preparing to strike my child down with a thunderbolt from Papa Zeus. Its like the Tom conversion factor goes haywire in my mind when trying to come up with appropriate consequences.
For example, they didn't brush their teeth tonight...Therefore, Tom Conversion factor - we shall ban them from the dentist forever. The punishment may be vaguely relevant - but typically its reinforcing the wrong messages and completely overboard. It just slides out of my mouth before I am even somewhat rational.
Anyway, Spurs tied Aston Villa and I was able to salvage the last 30 minutes of game watching. I apologized to my children (particularly James) and gave them Wii privileges after only 90 minutes outside. They played for one hour and when I said that they were done, both boys set their controllers down and thanked me. Coming from a crazy converter box like me, I have no idea where they get their patience and rational sense of purpose. Thank god for their mother.
I find a couple of things to be true. First, not really understanding soccer well, I can watch a game and see momentum and the quality of a team - like Spurs today in the second half. Yet, I have literally no idea why Spurs are dominating. Unlike basketball or football - where I can see the little things. I have no idea what those little things in soccer are. So, I can get crazy excited - more excited than watching the Huskers or Bluejays - watching Spurs. Today with my daughter sleeping and my kids running loose in the house. I suddenly shouted - GOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL! - Spurs tie the game when Dawson struck in the 77th minute. I jumped off the couch and did a bit of a jig. I never do this for any other sport but soccer. When the Huskers score an amazing touchdown or do something insanely stupid. I'll clap (in joy or anger) and maybe say something like - "How about that!" But never the heart felt complete joy of a goal in soccer.
Second, on a parenting note, Tivo is ruining me as a parent. Today, the Spurs game did not tape because one of my sons threw his Wii controller in disgust this morning when my wife told him that he had to turn off the game. This directive from my wife came after an hour of Wii and just following the words - "We're going to go get donuts so turn off the ..." [My wife upon reading this post - said that Aidan did not actually throw anything and did not throw a tantrum. She said that he "pouted". But, the point of the story is not lost based on mere facts.] Not realizing his error - both in throwing the controller and in potentially ruining my afternoon's entertainment - my son threw a temper tantrum. This was not an epic one - but a small one that led to a Wii blackout until the boys had cleaned and played for two hours outside. Anyway, to the bad parenting part - upon discovering that my son had dislodged the Infrared reader that allows our TiVo to control the cable box and thereby preventing the TiVo from taping Spurs on Fox Soccer - I melted down. I think I may have simply banned all fun in the world. I can't remember exactly who or what I banned buy I pretty much told James (not even the one who did the damage) that he needs to take more responsibility for the actions of his younger brother re: the Wii. Therefore, Wii shall be banned until I decide that it is not. These types of ridiculous parenting blunders should be past me. I have five kids. But, I have one of these completely ridiculous self-centered habeas corpus moments about once every two weeks. I have banned my son (typically its James) from having friends over until after Christmas in October. I have told them that they will be forced to do their own laundry. Ridiculous. Generally, these sorts of statements don't come out in anger. Almost never is my voice raised. I am not preparing to strike my child down with a thunderbolt from Papa Zeus. Its like the Tom conversion factor goes haywire in my mind when trying to come up with appropriate consequences.
For example, they didn't brush their teeth tonight...Therefore, Tom Conversion factor - we shall ban them from the dentist forever. The punishment may be vaguely relevant - but typically its reinforcing the wrong messages and completely overboard. It just slides out of my mouth before I am even somewhat rational.
Anyway, Spurs tied Aston Villa and I was able to salvage the last 30 minutes of game watching. I apologized to my children (particularly James) and gave them Wii privileges after only 90 minutes outside. They played for one hour and when I said that they were done, both boys set their controllers down and thanked me. Coming from a crazy converter box like me, I have no idea where they get their patience and rational sense of purpose. Thank god for their mother.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
On Parenting
My parenting philosophy is based on a couple of key principles:
1. Kids learn best on their own, through repetition and peer pressure. This means go through their homework and make sure they are getting enough chances to get better in stuff that they will need to know (science, technology, engineering, math, reading, writing, and communicating). When it comes to repetition - sports, drawing, whatever - push 'em towards stuff they will do anyways. That way, you don't really have to force them to draw or shoot baskets or play music. They'll choose to do it naturally. Finally, help them choose friends that will push them to do the above two more. Make sure the friends and friend's parents share similar values and only intervene in the case of real trouble (dangerous situations, bad decision making, or bullying).
2. Kids need to know that they are listened to and safe. I am not great at the first part, but I do try. Its amazing to me how much happier my kids are if I simply listen to what they are saying. Sometimes, there are ideas are questionable or illogical - but just listening is a good start. Making a safe environment means creating some boundaries - doors closed so baby doesn't go rolling down the stairs - but also about making sure that kid's know its okay to fail. I don't like that my son wets the bed - but I don't care about the wetting part. It drives me crazy when he lies about it and my house stinks because he lied. We have rules about language, health, eating and lying. If my kids wanted to play outside (doing almost anything), I am generally okay with it. I prefer it when they do it without me because I find that they want me to create games and rules for them - but when left to their own devices, they do better than I could, any way.
3. Create opportunities for discovery. I like to educate my kids through opportunities - museums, the zoo, whatever. We hike some and feed ducks and go all over the city. When you do this, things can happen. For example, the other day at mass, my 3yr old inexplicably went up to the choir loft without us. We eventually found her - but it freaked us out. We told her not to go there without mom or dad (less because of a fear of people and more because she is likely to jump out of the loft to see how that works). This would not happen if we always went to MOQ - but she wouldn't learn to stay close to us in crowds either. This is a better teaching moment than at a basketball game or somewhere less enclosed. Still freaks me out as a parent - though.
4. Have expectations and build community skills. We expect our kids to clean their rooms, thrown their dirty clothes into the hamper, do their homework, etc. It is not the parent's job to do this. We often fill the gaps - but they are incentivized and habitualized around doing community based things - cleaning, cooking, sharing, communicating, playing together, etc. This teaches life skills and is necessary in a big family.
Finally and this isn't really a parenting philosophy. But we wanted to have a big family and that creates strange balancing issues. My wife would like our house to be cleaner and less cluttered - but we have too many little hands to be really successful. Spending less money and more time is a necessity and has been before the Great Recession and will be whenever its over. We can't afford to go to movies together (a trip to AMC would cost us about $40 on the low side). We have family dinners and Clone Wars Friday nights.
In addition, we had our kids close together. That was not "planned" but also not "accidental". James, Aidan and Denny are real buddies. And all of the kids know how to play with kids older and younger than themselves. They are all being brought up to be helpers not just with us but with each other. The 3 boys sleep in the same room. We have an extra room - but think that it is too important for them to be together to let one of them miss out on having a roommate.
Now in response to the article directly, I worry a bit about our culture that we want to control kids - but not ourselves. What I mean is that I know many parents that set bad examples for their kids but then don't see how and where their kids learned certain behaviors. Specifically for me, I become too easily frustrated with my children, don't listen well enough, and overcoach. Some things that I think that I am pretty good at - teaching relevance, being open to new things, honest evaluation of my kid's place and expertise. The only really exception thing that any of my kids do right now is James is a tremendous artist - relative to his peers and to his parents. Everyone else is probably smarter than average - but nothing that is truly exceptional - although Claire can really eat peaches.
Most of my friends are not the over-protective parent type. However, many want small families because of the cost of college or because of the logistics. Amen to that. Many want small families because they did get married later or because they simply didn't feel financially secure. Good for them. My wife and I have elected a different course and think it is the right one. That means we simply can't be as protective as many "helicopter" parents are. So, in some ways, its hard to relate. I think it is much easier to fall into the "helicopter" parent trap if you have 2 or fewer kids - particularly if you are paying for daycare, tuition, lessons, etc. None of these are bad things, but the financial cost creates sometimes too much engagement.
However, there are also some parents that want their kids to be experts in everything by the time they are 10. I think gifted kids need outlets for their exceptionalness that reinforces these things (see Gladwell's rule of 10,000 hours), but I don't think that my kids are ready to pick whatever this is at any of their current ages. Eight is simply too young to be ready to commit to a life time of work in some space.
There are also parents that "schedule" their kids play time. It drives me crazy that my kids can't just walk out into the front yard and find friends - we have to schedule play time. This is partly because there are just fewer kids around our neighborhood, but its also a philosophy of the neighborhood. I don't see as many kids on bikes or shooting baskets in the front yard. I wish that I did. I don't know if this is parents or demographics.
I can tell you that Omaha seems to be populated with far more parents like me than other places that we have lived or spent significant amounts of time. In fact, at some level, it is probably one of the reasons that we live here.
That's a lot of thoughts and maybe not enough depth.
1. Kids learn best on their own, through repetition and peer pressure. This means go through their homework and make sure they are getting enough chances to get better in stuff that they will need to know (science, technology, engineering, math, reading, writing, and communicating). When it comes to repetition - sports, drawing, whatever - push 'em towards stuff they will do anyways. That way, you don't really have to force them to draw or shoot baskets or play music. They'll choose to do it naturally. Finally, help them choose friends that will push them to do the above two more. Make sure the friends and friend's parents share similar values and only intervene in the case of real trouble (dangerous situations, bad decision making, or bullying).
2. Kids need to know that they are listened to and safe. I am not great at the first part, but I do try. Its amazing to me how much happier my kids are if I simply listen to what they are saying. Sometimes, there are ideas are questionable or illogical - but just listening is a good start. Making a safe environment means creating some boundaries - doors closed so baby doesn't go rolling down the stairs - but also about making sure that kid's know its okay to fail. I don't like that my son wets the bed - but I don't care about the wetting part. It drives me crazy when he lies about it and my house stinks because he lied. We have rules about language, health, eating and lying. If my kids wanted to play outside (doing almost anything), I am generally okay with it. I prefer it when they do it without me because I find that they want me to create games and rules for them - but when left to their own devices, they do better than I could, any way.
3. Create opportunities for discovery. I like to educate my kids through opportunities - museums, the zoo, whatever. We hike some and feed ducks and go all over the city. When you do this, things can happen. For example, the other day at mass, my 3yr old inexplicably went up to the choir loft without us. We eventually found her - but it freaked us out. We told her not to go there without mom or dad (less because of a fear of people and more because she is likely to jump out of the loft to see how that works). This would not happen if we always went to MOQ - but she wouldn't learn to stay close to us in crowds either. This is a better teaching moment than at a basketball game or somewhere less enclosed. Still freaks me out as a parent - though.
4. Have expectations and build community skills. We expect our kids to clean their rooms, thrown their dirty clothes into the hamper, do their homework, etc. It is not the parent's job to do this. We often fill the gaps - but they are incentivized and habitualized around doing community based things - cleaning, cooking, sharing, communicating, playing together, etc. This teaches life skills and is necessary in a big family.
Finally and this isn't really a parenting philosophy. But we wanted to have a big family and that creates strange balancing issues. My wife would like our house to be cleaner and less cluttered - but we have too many little hands to be really successful. Spending less money and more time is a necessity and has been before the Great Recession and will be whenever its over. We can't afford to go to movies together (a trip to AMC would cost us about $40 on the low side). We have family dinners and Clone Wars Friday nights.
In addition, we had our kids close together. That was not "planned" but also not "accidental". James, Aidan and Denny are real buddies. And all of the kids know how to play with kids older and younger than themselves. They are all being brought up to be helpers not just with us but with each other. The 3 boys sleep in the same room. We have an extra room - but think that it is too important for them to be together to let one of them miss out on having a roommate.
Now in response to the article directly, I worry a bit about our culture that we want to control kids - but not ourselves. What I mean is that I know many parents that set bad examples for their kids but then don't see how and where their kids learned certain behaviors. Specifically for me, I become too easily frustrated with my children, don't listen well enough, and overcoach. Some things that I think that I am pretty good at - teaching relevance, being open to new things, honest evaluation of my kid's place and expertise. The only really exception thing that any of my kids do right now is James is a tremendous artist - relative to his peers and to his parents. Everyone else is probably smarter than average - but nothing that is truly exceptional - although Claire can really eat peaches.
Most of my friends are not the over-protective parent type. However, many want small families because of the cost of college or because of the logistics. Amen to that. Many want small families because they did get married later or because they simply didn't feel financially secure. Good for them. My wife and I have elected a different course and think it is the right one. That means we simply can't be as protective as many "helicopter" parents are. So, in some ways, its hard to relate. I think it is much easier to fall into the "helicopter" parent trap if you have 2 or fewer kids - particularly if you are paying for daycare, tuition, lessons, etc. None of these are bad things, but the financial cost creates sometimes too much engagement.
However, there are also some parents that want their kids to be experts in everything by the time they are 10. I think gifted kids need outlets for their exceptionalness that reinforces these things (see Gladwell's rule of 10,000 hours), but I don't think that my kids are ready to pick whatever this is at any of their current ages. Eight is simply too young to be ready to commit to a life time of work in some space.
There are also parents that "schedule" their kids play time. It drives me crazy that my kids can't just walk out into the front yard and find friends - we have to schedule play time. This is partly because there are just fewer kids around our neighborhood, but its also a philosophy of the neighborhood. I don't see as many kids on bikes or shooting baskets in the front yard. I wish that I did. I don't know if this is parents or demographics.
I can tell you that Omaha seems to be populated with far more parents like me than other places that we have lived or spent significant amounts of time. In fact, at some level, it is probably one of the reasons that we live here.
That's a lot of thoughts and maybe not enough depth.
Secret Santa Lists
On a sad note, yoda the frog died yesterday. The Chapman house is in mourning. We are in the market for a new pet - but not until the grieving process is complete. Early clubhouse leaders - axolotl and fish. Turtles are out because apparently they are bad for babies. Who knew? So opinions are welcome. Pickles suggested the axolotl - and I like that idea. The kids seem to like amphibians and fish over mammals - not exactly sure why.
Tom - black dress socks and long sleeved sleepable t-shirts, Star Trek DVD, an adult Wii game (sports or violence preferred). Tom also likes books - not everything but a wide variety. If you go into Social Sciences or Business, pretty much everything is of interest - Omnivore's Dilemma, Art of Innovation, Valley Boy, Food, Inc. Two of Tom's goals for next year are to get smarter about technology and network integration (of all types not just technology) and wine. Tom's goal for 2009 was to get into soccer. Success - more Spurs paraphanelia is good.
Cheryl - colorful, trendy dress scarves (to be warn with regular clothes not a coat), Twilight DVD, perfume, something fun to wear out with friends (nothing crazy - but something that could be warn to a bar without her husband and look cute enough to be with her chic sister). Cheryl is currently writing a book and trying to be more active with other moms in the parish.
James - Greek mythology, puzzles, Titanic (and other disasters), and books. The parents (aka S) are getting James a Nintendo DSi, so games for this are good. In addition, he is interested in the 39 clues and Percy Jackson. He wears size 9slim pants and a child's medium shirt. He is not super into sports - but does like soccer. He really likes architecture and to build and draw stuff. James is getting to be a big boy now - and so bigger kid games like board games and puzzles are highly enjoyed.
Aidan - Animals (particularly amphibians, specifically turtles), Greek mythology, Star Wars, and playing outside in the sand box. Aidan will also be getting a Nintendo DSi, so games are good (aka S). Apparently these things can be played in tandem up to 4 players. He wears size 7 pants and a child's medium shirt. He is into sports more than James - so jerseys or equipment are good. He really likes living things, science and enjoys coloring (not as much drawing or building as James) and playing with action figures. He also enjoys 39 clues and Percy Jackson - but enjoys a wider variety of books - Redwall, Star Wars, etc. Aidan also seems musically inclined - particularly recorder, flute, etc.
Dennis - Star Wars, music, and whatever his brothers are up to. He has been struggling a bit lately with growing out of a toddler into a little boy. He wants to do some of the things that J&A can do - play the Wii, draw pictures, etc. but can't quite escape his sister's inability to play these things yet. He is getting drums (real drums) from mom and dad (aka S). He loves Star Wars - particularly clones. He builds elaborate scenes and plays inside, outside and anywhere with action figures. He and Aidan do a lot of wars. He enjoys sports - particularly those with balls - soccer, basketball, baseball, golf, etc. He wears size 5/6 pants and S shirts.
Martha - make up, dress up clothes, kitchen stuff (food, shopping cart, etc.) stuffed animals. Martha likes to play with others and is comfortable playing just about anything. She enjoys reading books, particularly about animals. She also enjoys writing and drawing. Martha is a bit mischevious if that can be embodied in a gift. She stays up late looking at books and "reading". She particularly likes Dora, the Backyardigans, almost all princesses and Disney. She wears a size 4 pant and an XS or 4t shirt. She is getting a significant kitchen set from the parents (aka S).
Claire - blocks. Claire loves blocks and stuffed animals. She is in the 18-24 mo. clothes and continues to be near the top of her size estimates for age. So, if you are buying clothes - buy high.
We have a DVD player, Wii gaming system, and will have a DSi. There is some discussion of a Leapster 2 but this has not been purchased or confirmed.
So, there is our secret santa list as a family. If you have questions, email us what you are thinking about.
Tom - black dress socks and long sleeved sleepable t-shirts, Star Trek DVD, an adult Wii game (sports or violence preferred). Tom also likes books - not everything but a wide variety. If you go into Social Sciences or Business, pretty much everything is of interest - Omnivore's Dilemma, Art of Innovation, Valley Boy, Food, Inc. Two of Tom's goals for next year are to get smarter about technology and network integration (of all types not just technology) and wine. Tom's goal for 2009 was to get into soccer. Success - more Spurs paraphanelia is good.
Cheryl - colorful, trendy dress scarves (to be warn with regular clothes not a coat), Twilight DVD, perfume, something fun to wear out with friends (nothing crazy - but something that could be warn to a bar without her husband and look cute enough to be with her chic sister). Cheryl is currently writing a book and trying to be more active with other moms in the parish.
James - Greek mythology, puzzles, Titanic (and other disasters), and books. The parents (aka S) are getting James a Nintendo DSi, so games for this are good. In addition, he is interested in the 39 clues and Percy Jackson. He wears size 9slim pants and a child's medium shirt. He is not super into sports - but does like soccer. He really likes architecture and to build and draw stuff. James is getting to be a big boy now - and so bigger kid games like board games and puzzles are highly enjoyed.
Aidan - Animals (particularly amphibians, specifically turtles), Greek mythology, Star Wars, and playing outside in the sand box. Aidan will also be getting a Nintendo DSi, so games are good (aka S). Apparently these things can be played in tandem up to 4 players. He wears size 7 pants and a child's medium shirt. He is into sports more than James - so jerseys or equipment are good. He really likes living things, science and enjoys coloring (not as much drawing or building as James) and playing with action figures. He also enjoys 39 clues and Percy Jackson - but enjoys a wider variety of books - Redwall, Star Wars, etc. Aidan also seems musically inclined - particularly recorder, flute, etc.
Dennis - Star Wars, music, and whatever his brothers are up to. He has been struggling a bit lately with growing out of a toddler into a little boy. He wants to do some of the things that J&A can do - play the Wii, draw pictures, etc. but can't quite escape his sister's inability to play these things yet. He is getting drums (real drums) from mom and dad (aka S). He loves Star Wars - particularly clones. He builds elaborate scenes and plays inside, outside and anywhere with action figures. He and Aidan do a lot of wars. He enjoys sports - particularly those with balls - soccer, basketball, baseball, golf, etc. He wears size 5/6 pants and S shirts.
Martha - make up, dress up clothes, kitchen stuff (food, shopping cart, etc.) stuffed animals. Martha likes to play with others and is comfortable playing just about anything. She enjoys reading books, particularly about animals. She also enjoys writing and drawing. Martha is a bit mischevious if that can be embodied in a gift. She stays up late looking at books and "reading". She particularly likes Dora, the Backyardigans, almost all princesses and Disney. She wears a size 4 pant and an XS or 4t shirt. She is getting a significant kitchen set from the parents (aka S).
Claire - blocks. Claire loves blocks and stuffed animals. She is in the 18-24 mo. clothes and continues to be near the top of her size estimates for age. So, if you are buying clothes - buy high.
We have a DVD player, Wii gaming system, and will have a DSi. There is some discussion of a Leapster 2 but this has not been purchased or confirmed.
So, there is our secret santa list as a family. If you have questions, email us what you are thinking about.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
On Being American
Being American is really important to me, and I am proud to be an American. My pride has nothing to do with who the President is or the fact that the United States is one of the longest running liberal democracies in history. It is not about our military strength or the Bill of Rights. Don't get me wrong, I think these things are important.
What I think is most incredible about our country is its ability to bring radically different people together and create something that is new, better and excellent. This is partly about immigration - but not in the political context. What I mean is that at our schools, community groups, etc. - there is an expected equality and a responsibility to take ownership and do. While the United States has sometimes been ridiculed by the press (both at home and abroad) for its inability to do something or another - the general sentiment in the US has never been nasty towards itself during my lifetime. I am starting to see a shift from being mildly annoyed with various aspects of American life - to a legitimate criticism of American life. And frankly, I don't like it.
I don't like it - at least in part for no other reason than my own pride in being an American. But I worry about this country and its apparent arrogance that we are smarter or harder working or more innovative and that's enough to be the best at whatever it is that we want to be the best at - Olympic sports, new venture creation, etc. What worries me more is that generally there appears to be a malaise about why and how we are slipping.
Yesterday on Sports Talk Radio of all things, they were discussing how Americans are getting soft. I don't know if this is true or not - but what they were really talking about was discipline, responsibility and work ethic. My dad and I had a similar conversation a week ago - and I have been reflecting on this for some time in some way or another.
What I think it means to be an American is the Jesuit ideal of - magis - or "being excellent in all things." I don't mean that in an arrogant way - meaning that we are excellent in all things - but in the process of excellence. Thus, the key word is being and in order "to be" one must strive and suffer and accomplish. Anymore, we have lost the hard parts of being and simply assumed that we already are there. So we have a generation of people - the Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y - that simply collectively assume that we have reached the mountain top. This is partly true; we have reached a mountain top. But it is not Everest - its an Appalachian.
We have lost focus as a country - our leaders, our politicians (they are not the same thing most of the time), our people - at the being part of excellence. Being American is quintessentially that quest that can only be reached by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and doing something better and greater than any thought possible.
I like the history of individuals pulling themselves up by their bootstraps - and knowing that I too can start my own thing and be wildly successful on the merits (not on who I was born to be). This, I think, is uniquely American and what we should focus on creating when we build institutions and communities.
Where are these things in American society:
- Education: I don't have the perspective necessary to say that our education system has never looked so bleak - but between sky-rocketing cost (at all levels) and lower achievement and expectations. Its hard to say that this is creating an environment that helps realize the uniquely American quest for excellence.
- Social Programs: Whether its healthcare, social security, public education, or any number of other things, its shocking to me how little common purpose people are willing to agree upon. In any of the debates, the discussion and policy is so polarized and polarizing that debate on substantive issues is simply impossible. So, for example, everyone is willing to say: "I want better healthcare" or "I want less crime" - but nobody or very few are willing to say. And here is what that means from a metrics perspective, here is what that means from an achievement perspective, and here is what that means from an accountability perspective.
- Immigration: When in our history have immigrants (regardless of race or creed) been welcomed less? Historically, there are horror stories about individual classes of people - Chinese in the 1860s and 1870s, Catholic Irish or Italians in the 1880s...Vietnamese in the 1970s, Mexican in the 1990s and 2000s, etc. But, right now, I think that there is a general sentiment against any immigration and our laws have not evolved to the society that we have. Thus, not only is sentiment poor - but our legal framework does not make any sense. This is not a political indictment of one party over the other - it is simply a note regarding the lack of clarity and perspective that my country appears to be lacking.
Saying this, I can still say that I am proud to be an American. We have problems...to be excellent you don't get to do simple things. To be excellent you must confront difficult, seemingly impossible challenges. I am proud for my opportunity to serve and do great things. Only in American would I be able to help solve these problems, rather than simply complain about the system or the status quo. Let's not lose that to rhetoric or polarizing politicians. Instead, let's start solving problems. Let's not leave them for the next generation; they're will be plenty of new and challenging problems for them. But we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in the quest for excellence.
What I think is most incredible about our country is its ability to bring radically different people together and create something that is new, better and excellent. This is partly about immigration - but not in the political context. What I mean is that at our schools, community groups, etc. - there is an expected equality and a responsibility to take ownership and do. While the United States has sometimes been ridiculed by the press (both at home and abroad) for its inability to do something or another - the general sentiment in the US has never been nasty towards itself during my lifetime. I am starting to see a shift from being mildly annoyed with various aspects of American life - to a legitimate criticism of American life. And frankly, I don't like it.
I don't like it - at least in part for no other reason than my own pride in being an American. But I worry about this country and its apparent arrogance that we are smarter or harder working or more innovative and that's enough to be the best at whatever it is that we want to be the best at - Olympic sports, new venture creation, etc. What worries me more is that generally there appears to be a malaise about why and how we are slipping.
Yesterday on Sports Talk Radio of all things, they were discussing how Americans are getting soft. I don't know if this is true or not - but what they were really talking about was discipline, responsibility and work ethic. My dad and I had a similar conversation a week ago - and I have been reflecting on this for some time in some way or another.
What I think it means to be an American is the Jesuit ideal of - magis - or "being excellent in all things." I don't mean that in an arrogant way - meaning that we are excellent in all things - but in the process of excellence. Thus, the key word is being and in order "to be" one must strive and suffer and accomplish. Anymore, we have lost the hard parts of being and simply assumed that we already are there. So we have a generation of people - the Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y - that simply collectively assume that we have reached the mountain top. This is partly true; we have reached a mountain top. But it is not Everest - its an Appalachian.
We have lost focus as a country - our leaders, our politicians (they are not the same thing most of the time), our people - at the being part of excellence. Being American is quintessentially that quest that can only be reached by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and doing something better and greater than any thought possible.
I like the history of individuals pulling themselves up by their bootstraps - and knowing that I too can start my own thing and be wildly successful on the merits (not on who I was born to be). This, I think, is uniquely American and what we should focus on creating when we build institutions and communities.
Where are these things in American society:
- Education: I don't have the perspective necessary to say that our education system has never looked so bleak - but between sky-rocketing cost (at all levels) and lower achievement and expectations. Its hard to say that this is creating an environment that helps realize the uniquely American quest for excellence.
- Social Programs: Whether its healthcare, social security, public education, or any number of other things, its shocking to me how little common purpose people are willing to agree upon. In any of the debates, the discussion and policy is so polarized and polarizing that debate on substantive issues is simply impossible. So, for example, everyone is willing to say: "I want better healthcare" or "I want less crime" - but nobody or very few are willing to say. And here is what that means from a metrics perspective, here is what that means from an achievement perspective, and here is what that means from an accountability perspective.
- Immigration: When in our history have immigrants (regardless of race or creed) been welcomed less? Historically, there are horror stories about individual classes of people - Chinese in the 1860s and 1870s, Catholic Irish or Italians in the 1880s...Vietnamese in the 1970s, Mexican in the 1990s and 2000s, etc. But, right now, I think that there is a general sentiment against any immigration and our laws have not evolved to the society that we have. Thus, not only is sentiment poor - but our legal framework does not make any sense. This is not a political indictment of one party over the other - it is simply a note regarding the lack of clarity and perspective that my country appears to be lacking.
Saying this, I can still say that I am proud to be an American. We have problems...to be excellent you don't get to do simple things. To be excellent you must confront difficult, seemingly impossible challenges. I am proud for my opportunity to serve and do great things. Only in American would I be able to help solve these problems, rather than simply complain about the system or the status quo. Let's not lose that to rhetoric or polarizing politicians. Instead, let's start solving problems. Let's not leave them for the next generation; they're will be plenty of new and challenging problems for them. But we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in the quest for excellence.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
On A Holiday in Spain
Today I logged into Pandora for the first time on my work computer so that I could listen to some tunes while watching my children. You see, I am on vacation/parenting duty while my nanny is on vacation. Anyway, I logged into Pandora for the first time and typed in thinking that I'd love to hear something that my sister Mary would like...First song - "Holiday in Spain." The world really is a little place where you can get the #1 song of your choice on accident or find friends in a rural field in the middle of Texas.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
On Being Pathetic
Today my wife told me that I should go and do something fun...I am sitting at home writing a blog and preparing for a nap. I have no responsibility today and that is the best that I could come up with. I am pathetic. Good night!
Friday, November 13, 2009
On Secret Santas
The Chapman Secret Santa Program has been going on since the early 1980s and was created by the matriarch, Karen, who hoped to stop her kids from beating each other with shoes. The original program had very small gifts between siblings - and originally the parents were not included. This changed in year three when all Chapmans were included - this was before Mary was born but in the house at 3631 - so either 1984, 1985, or 1986.
As part of this tradition, the fundamental question at Thanksgiving was the dollar limit - originally set at $10 for the entire season. Typically, the battle was from older children wishing for bigger gifts from the parents who were bank-rolling the younger children. Of course over the course of a short period of time, this led to tremendous inflationary pressure from siblings wanting to one-up each other with the gifts given. Eventually, the Chapman price point stabilized around $30 dollars in the early 1990s. This, of course, has been blatantly ignored in certain years - including gifts that were less than $5 and gifts that were well over $50.
Notably this inflationary pressure to one-up other family members was lost on certain members of the family. I am, of course, referring to the Slacker Revolution of 1989 when dad forgot who he secret santa'd. This shot across the bow led to a movement by certain Chapmans that eventually led to the Reformed Chapman Secret Santa Program - codenamed "the slacker division". This slacker division was retired in the early 2000s because so many people were located outside the mother brain sphere of influence. The slacker division was replaced by Secret Santa North and South and the Secret Santa in absentia programs. None of these ever really caught on with those who still longed for the slacker division. Thus, echoing the Catholic Churches recent inclusion of certain Anglican dioceses- the slacker division has been reunited with the main branch.
Today, the Chapman Secret Santa Program consists of two divisions - adult and child. The child division is limited to individuals that are not using their own money to buy gifts - but instead, are utilizing their parents money. In addition, there is an age limit of 16 - so Mary does not qualify. Children under the age of 16 may elect to enter the adult version - but they must self-fund their gifts (or convince their parents to fund).
The original intent had nothing to do with gifts or with candy. In fact, few remember and, as the father of five, can appreciate the importance of creating a program at the beginning of winter that makes your house cleaner. For this (and other things), my mother should be considered brilliant. The purpose was to do "nice things" for each other to get us into the spirit of Christmas. For example, in the original program - smiling at another person was an acceptable form of participation, so was saying a nice thing or even the absence of doing a not nice thing. Slowly, this form of participation required a whispered - "ssss....sssss". Like many innovations, this was a Beth sponsored effort utilized to throw her actual "Secret Santa" off her trail. At one memorable Christmas Eve in 1993, six out of eight Chapmans (excluding Beth and strangely Kim) thought that Beth was their Secret Santa. In reality, Beth had been Kim's - thereby creating an environment where only Beth succeeded at guessing who here Secret Santa was - and then finishing that guess by getting every other person's Secret Santa, as well. It was a Jordanesque era of dominance in the Chapman Secret Santa Program that many consider to be golden period.
However, just as the inflationary pressure affected the pricing of gifts, there were periods of significant santaing activity during the Thanksgiving holidays after the official draw that were done to throw off members of the family hoping to achieve the pinnacle of Secret Santa achievement (as Beth did in 1992 and 1994) - naming every single person's Secret Santa at the annual reveal on Christmas Eve. This strong pressure created strange, underhanded practices such as having mom write out "ss" so as to confuse individuals seeking to discover who their Secret Santa was. Many of these innovations, while questionable from an ethical standpoint, were masterminded by the Middle Child and President of the family, Beth Chapman. Beth has since changed her name in attempt to cover her tracks regarding her past deeds.
As far as the state of the game and the family, with age the Chapman Secret Santa Program has mellowed dramatically. Gone are the days of the slacker division. Gone are the days of subversive actions meant to confuse other participants. However, the next generation of family members are starting to show the potential promise, long hoped for by Mary and Jim who wished for the golden years of Secret Santa. 2009 could well be the first year of the Chapman Secret Santa Program's illustrious recovery. Only time will tell.
As part of this tradition, the fundamental question at Thanksgiving was the dollar limit - originally set at $10 for the entire season. Typically, the battle was from older children wishing for bigger gifts from the parents who were bank-rolling the younger children. Of course over the course of a short period of time, this led to tremendous inflationary pressure from siblings wanting to one-up each other with the gifts given. Eventually, the Chapman price point stabilized around $30 dollars in the early 1990s. This, of course, has been blatantly ignored in certain years - including gifts that were less than $5 and gifts that were well over $50.
Notably this inflationary pressure to one-up other family members was lost on certain members of the family. I am, of course, referring to the Slacker Revolution of 1989 when dad forgot who he secret santa'd. This shot across the bow led to a movement by certain Chapmans that eventually led to the Reformed Chapman Secret Santa Program - codenamed "the slacker division". This slacker division was retired in the early 2000s because so many people were located outside the mother brain sphere of influence. The slacker division was replaced by Secret Santa North and South and the Secret Santa in absentia programs. None of these ever really caught on with those who still longed for the slacker division. Thus, echoing the Catholic Churches recent inclusion of certain Anglican dioceses- the slacker division has been reunited with the main branch.
Today, the Chapman Secret Santa Program consists of two divisions - adult and child. The child division is limited to individuals that are not using their own money to buy gifts - but instead, are utilizing their parents money. In addition, there is an age limit of 16 - so Mary does not qualify. Children under the age of 16 may elect to enter the adult version - but they must self-fund their gifts (or convince their parents to fund).
The original intent had nothing to do with gifts or with candy. In fact, few remember and, as the father of five, can appreciate the importance of creating a program at the beginning of winter that makes your house cleaner. For this (and other things), my mother should be considered brilliant. The purpose was to do "nice things" for each other to get us into the spirit of Christmas. For example, in the original program - smiling at another person was an acceptable form of participation, so was saying a nice thing or even the absence of doing a not nice thing. Slowly, this form of participation required a whispered - "ssss....sssss". Like many innovations, this was a Beth sponsored effort utilized to throw her actual "Secret Santa" off her trail. At one memorable Christmas Eve in 1993, six out of eight Chapmans (excluding Beth and strangely Kim) thought that Beth was their Secret Santa. In reality, Beth had been Kim's - thereby creating an environment where only Beth succeeded at guessing who here Secret Santa was - and then finishing that guess by getting every other person's Secret Santa, as well. It was a Jordanesque era of dominance in the Chapman Secret Santa Program that many consider to be golden period.
However, just as the inflationary pressure affected the pricing of gifts, there were periods of significant santaing activity during the Thanksgiving holidays after the official draw that were done to throw off members of the family hoping to achieve the pinnacle of Secret Santa achievement (as Beth did in 1992 and 1994) - naming every single person's Secret Santa at the annual reveal on Christmas Eve. This strong pressure created strange, underhanded practices such as having mom write out "ss" so as to confuse individuals seeking to discover who their Secret Santa was. Many of these innovations, while questionable from an ethical standpoint, were masterminded by the Middle Child and President of the family, Beth Chapman. Beth has since changed her name in attempt to cover her tracks regarding her past deeds.
As far as the state of the game and the family, with age the Chapman Secret Santa Program has mellowed dramatically. Gone are the days of the slacker division. Gone are the days of subversive actions meant to confuse other participants. However, the next generation of family members are starting to show the potential promise, long hoped for by Mary and Jim who wished for the golden years of Secret Santa. 2009 could well be the first year of the Chapman Secret Santa Program's illustrious recovery. Only time will tell.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
On Writing
I used to write quite a bit. And now I look at financial statements regularly. I would say that I enjoy many things in moderation - which is both a blessing and a curse.
I am the jack of all trades and the master of none. I can make myself appear intelligent in nearly everything because I have gone one inch deep. For example, you may say - "boy, Mary's brother - Tom, knows a lot of banal cliches after reading this" but the truth is that I am pretty much spent. I am just trying to help the team...make that extra pass...do whatever is necessary for this post to be outstanding.
In all seriousness, I find that great men and women tend to be really good at one thing and sometimes two. When I have met famous, accomplished individuals, rarely are they smarter, more talented, etc. than myself. In fact, often they are a bit of a let down - but they do one thing way better than anyone else on this earth. And the simple truth is that I do not. Its disappointing to realize that not only do I not do something better than everyone else - but that frankly, barring a complete disaster to humankind, I probably never will be the absolute best at anything.
However, there is also sense of freedom in knowing that I am a worker, not a master-builder (see Oscar Romero). It is a blessing to know that my little efforts can have large impacts in lots of things - here in my house, here in my community, here in my world.
So, in that vein, my wife and I have both started writing again (and not just this blog). We are both working on books targeted at young adults. The ceiling is moderately high and the competition is moderately low. James Joyce did not write for 12 year olds, and I am okay with that. Ulysses just isn't a very fun book. I am writing about epic cataclysms and plots that are both imaginary and almost unfathomably unlikely - but what the heck, its fun and I think that it may make my kids (and maybe other kids too) have big dreams. So, we'll keep writing when we are not looking at Cheryl's P&L.
I am the jack of all trades and the master of none. I can make myself appear intelligent in nearly everything because I have gone one inch deep. For example, you may say - "boy, Mary's brother - Tom, knows a lot of banal cliches after reading this" but the truth is that I am pretty much spent. I am just trying to help the team...make that extra pass...do whatever is necessary for this post to be outstanding.
In all seriousness, I find that great men and women tend to be really good at one thing and sometimes two. When I have met famous, accomplished individuals, rarely are they smarter, more talented, etc. than myself. In fact, often they are a bit of a let down - but they do one thing way better than anyone else on this earth. And the simple truth is that I do not. Its disappointing to realize that not only do I not do something better than everyone else - but that frankly, barring a complete disaster to humankind, I probably never will be the absolute best at anything.
However, there is also sense of freedom in knowing that I am a worker, not a master-builder (see Oscar Romero). It is a blessing to know that my little efforts can have large impacts in lots of things - here in my house, here in my community, here in my world.
So, in that vein, my wife and I have both started writing again (and not just this blog). We are both working on books targeted at young adults. The ceiling is moderately high and the competition is moderately low. James Joyce did not write for 12 year olds, and I am okay with that. Ulysses just isn't a very fun book. I am writing about epic cataclysms and plots that are both imaginary and almost unfathomably unlikely - but what the heck, its fun and I think that it may make my kids (and maybe other kids too) have big dreams. So, we'll keep writing when we are not looking at Cheryl's P&L.
On Hurricanes
I have been slow of late, and for this I apologize. However, without further adieu...
So, my job is pretty cool because at different times in my career, I have been called upon to become an expert (or at least knowledgeable) on baseball stadiums, video games and...hurricanes. Hurricanes, you say, but why Tom?
A couple of reasons really. First, hurricanes have a significant impact on the insurance industry - particularly those that do a significant amount of property and casualty insurance in the gulf coast. Thus, a bad hurricane season can affect reinsurance companies (like Arch) or home insurance companies (like Allstate) or casualty companies (like Zurich) - depending on their exposure and the impact of the hit. Second, hurricanes are widespread disasters, a la Katrina - where large swaths of land and area lose electricity, gas service and internet service. Thus, locating certain types of projects in hurricane zones can be risky. So, identifying both the projects and the areas that are most at risk and which companies are most exposed is part of my job. So, I spent some good old fashion time studying hurricanes.
Here's what I found. First, there is a company that specializes in predicting via risk assessment and analyze odd events - wind storms, terrorist attacks, and hurricanes. The company is called AIR-Worldwide. And it has more PhDs than not PhDs as employees. The website is http://www.air-worldwide.com/. Here is a link to their 2009 tropical storm study.
In addition, I stumbled upon the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration National Hurricane Center. At this center, they have great information that is up to date on hurricanes - and they utilize up to fifteen models to guess where a hurricane is going. There is always one that says this maybe may look like its headed for Texas - but it will actually hit South Carolina or Newfoundland or something simply insane due to a hard right turn. So, the simple lesson is that if you life to the right (or north of a hurricane) someone always says that your day is coming.
My real experience with hurricanes was in North Carolina in 1999 following a string of bad hurricane years for the Carolinas. There was devastation two months after Hurricane Floyd and its ridiculous rainfall. In addition, I lived in Houston during Hurricane Allison. I went to find a good picture for Hurricane Allison to give you neo-Houstonians an idea of what type of rain fell. According to the NHC of the NOAA - the Port of Houston had 36.99 inches of rain from this storm (in about 36 hours). It was literally like there were zillions of water faucets on above the city for two days and nights.
For those of you in Houston freaked out by hurricanes, I strongly advise you to look at Allison photos. Even today, looking at them seems simply unreal. For example, in the one that I posted, that white building in the center of the picture is about one full block from the bayou and its whole first floor is under water. That was not supposed to happen.
However, my favorite picture is the kayaker on I-59...There are semis literally underneath and not visible. As my wife and I sat at home on June 9 and 10 (because that was our highway), we watched the water slowly recede and discovered over time the top of semis and their trailers under all of that water. Amazing. Check out this site for more non-photo shopped photos.
Monday, November 2, 2009
My Halloween
Halloween is different for people with kids. I note this on a number of key findings:
1. My nanny noted on her Facebook page that costumes have become quite skanky. I do not think that a costume of Hermes, Percy Jackson, a tiger (or a satyr), and a kitty princess are skanky - although maybe that last one with the right kitty - but still, its a stretch. Those were my kids costumes. We trick-or-treated with a dragon and a Spider-man. Not skanky.
2. My intern described her Halloween as Lady GaGa which involved 1) a limousine ride with 12 friends, 2) only two friends not vomiting, 3) a description of a tricked out Playboy bunny. This story also involves attempts to lure motorcyclists into falls and unexpected encounters with sober colleagues. Again - I was in bed by 11pm - no limo, no vomiting, no Playboy bunnies (sigh.).
3. My sister is a dead soccer player (with braids). This may seem like an odd one to note - but I did not dress up...at all. I went to a Halloween party as an oil executive. Thus, I wore cowboy boots and my normal garb (which often actually includes cowboy boots). My sister had both time and energy to saw a shoe in half. On Halloween, I spent the better part of the afternoon looking for a Size 1 Nike sneaker with a green swoosh (Aidan's). It was in the ball bucket in the basement (of course).
4. Finally, I told a co-worker who also has kids that we finished trick-or-treating at 8:30 this year. She said, "that's late." My intern (see point #2 above) remarked "really" in her Pickles voice. I said - "yeah but my wife and I stayed up until 11pm." Again the intern remarked - "really...I didn't even go out until 11pm."
Things are just different with kids. Not better nor worse - just different.
1. My nanny noted on her Facebook page that costumes have become quite skanky. I do not think that a costume of Hermes, Percy Jackson, a tiger (or a satyr), and a kitty princess are skanky - although maybe that last one with the right kitty - but still, its a stretch. Those were my kids costumes. We trick-or-treated with a dragon and a Spider-man. Not skanky.
2. My intern described her Halloween as Lady GaGa which involved 1) a limousine ride with 12 friends, 2) only two friends not vomiting, 3) a description of a tricked out Playboy bunny. This story also involves attempts to lure motorcyclists into falls and unexpected encounters with sober colleagues. Again - I was in bed by 11pm - no limo, no vomiting, no Playboy bunnies (sigh.).
3. My sister is a dead soccer player (with braids). This may seem like an odd one to note - but I did not dress up...at all. I went to a Halloween party as an oil executive. Thus, I wore cowboy boots and my normal garb (which often actually includes cowboy boots). My sister had both time and energy to saw a shoe in half. On Halloween, I spent the better part of the afternoon looking for a Size 1 Nike sneaker with a green swoosh (Aidan's). It was in the ball bucket in the basement (of course).
4. Finally, I told a co-worker who also has kids that we finished trick-or-treating at 8:30 this year. She said, "that's late." My intern (see point #2 above) remarked "really" in her Pickles voice. I said - "yeah but my wife and I stayed up until 11pm." Again the intern remarked - "really...I didn't even go out until 11pm."
Things are just different with kids. Not better nor worse - just different.
Friday, October 30, 2009
On Bill Bryson
Like Mary, Bill Bryson is one of my favorite authors. He writes two very distinct types of books - intellectual and travel. While the two do blend occasionally, his travel books are particularly hilarious.
My favorite two books are his autobiography - the Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - about growing up in the 1950s in Des Moines, IA and In a Sunburnt Country - about his travels in Australia. I shared these books with my wife, and she would call in tears from their humor. I would listen to the books in the car and laugh so hard that I would have to pull the car over for fear of hurting another human being.
Bryson is at his best when he can be personally involved with someone in a bar, on a walk, in a museum - or in describing the various forms of terror that run through a person's mind while traveling. My favorite story is his escape from the wild dogs in Sydney or his friends who blew up their house in the LTTK.
Bryson is a masterful writer who should be read more frequently by, well, everyone.
He does, however, rip on Omaha. But, as Mary said, that seems like the pot calling the kettle black.
My favorite two books are his autobiography - the Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - about growing up in the 1950s in Des Moines, IA and In a Sunburnt Country - about his travels in Australia. I shared these books with my wife, and she would call in tears from their humor. I would listen to the books in the car and laugh so hard that I would have to pull the car over for fear of hurting another human being.
Bryson is at his best when he can be personally involved with someone in a bar, on a walk, in a museum - or in describing the various forms of terror that run through a person's mind while traveling. My favorite story is his escape from the wild dogs in Sydney or his friends who blew up their house in the LTTK.
Bryson is a masterful writer who should be read more frequently by, well, everyone.
He does, however, rip on Omaha. But, as Mary said, that seems like the pot calling the kettle black.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Interesting Companies
I am currently sitting in a Starbucks in San Diego (Market and 4th) watching two vertically challenge women interview two homeless men. This strikes me as Big Lots worthy. Both vertically challenged women are wearing white summer dresses with bright pink Ug style boots. Both homeless guys have a significant facial hair. This is in no way intended to be a slight against any of the above - just one of the more bizarre affairs that I have ever seen.
Anyway, onto interesting companies. This is a bit of a departure for me because I am simply going to wing it. I have no ability to respond to Mary's holiday wish list - other than to say, good job getting it out early.
So, interesting companies. In my job, I have to do research into a number of interesting companies. I think that one of the most interesting companies that I have ever discovered is a company called Insurance Services Offices, Inc. This company owns a number of super cool - analytics companies that insurance companies use to measure risk. Really neat.
In addition, I am fascinated by the areas where I would expect to find more companies, but have not been able to find them - for example - who is the largest weather company-analytics, modeling, etc. It seems that this is done primarily by governments, but why? DTN does a lot of this, but I am surprised at the lack of other companies competing in the space.
I think weather, risk, spatial interface and design could be fabulously interesting areas for the next 20 years - and yet, it seems that I am simply wrong because there is not much going on here.
In addition, I look at food science and food supply transparency as a critical element of the way people will eat and understand their caloric intake over the next decade. Who does that? Nobody. So, you can find technologies but no over-arching entities that carry lots of component technologies. So, you get a Cargill or ConAgra that manage their supply chains - but they don't document that supply so that I know where my food comes from and its impact on the environment or the chemicals in my food, etc. This is a growth industry perfect for Nebraska.
Just to get close to a parallel post here, Mary once mentioned that she is interested in eating locally and she tries to buy organic. Those are two highly relevant areas for the above post.
Anyway, onto interesting companies. This is a bit of a departure for me because I am simply going to wing it. I have no ability to respond to Mary's holiday wish list - other than to say, good job getting it out early.
So, interesting companies. In my job, I have to do research into a number of interesting companies. I think that one of the most interesting companies that I have ever discovered is a company called Insurance Services Offices, Inc. This company owns a number of super cool - analytics companies that insurance companies use to measure risk. Really neat.
In addition, I am fascinated by the areas where I would expect to find more companies, but have not been able to find them - for example - who is the largest weather company-analytics, modeling, etc. It seems that this is done primarily by governments, but why? DTN does a lot of this, but I am surprised at the lack of other companies competing in the space.
I think weather, risk, spatial interface and design could be fabulously interesting areas for the next 20 years - and yet, it seems that I am simply wrong because there is not much going on here.
In addition, I look at food science and food supply transparency as a critical element of the way people will eat and understand their caloric intake over the next decade. Who does that? Nobody. So, you can find technologies but no over-arching entities that carry lots of component technologies. So, you get a Cargill or ConAgra that manage their supply chains - but they don't document that supply so that I know where my food comes from and its impact on the environment or the chemicals in my food, etc. This is a growth industry perfect for Nebraska.
Just to get close to a parallel post here, Mary once mentioned that she is interested in eating locally and she tries to buy organic. Those are two highly relevant areas for the above post.
Monday, October 26, 2009
On new things
Do you think that sports defy logic generally, or that there are particular sports that are more difficult to learn than others?
For example, I find cricket virtually impossible to understand more than at the very basest level - you get a run for this, you get an out for that. I understand not at all how cricket matches could possibly last three days. Huh?
So, here's my theory - made up almost completely on the spot. First, games with significant stops for strategy time are harder to figure out than flowing games like basketball or soccer or rugby. The flowing nature of games means that they have a natural explanation over time that makes them basically understandable if you have watched one complete game. Maybe not utter mastery - but enough that you can be dangerous. Thus, you can figure out water polo relatively easily if you watch an entire match. Second, games that resemble other games but are played with a larger court, different appendage, or with slightly modified rules are always easier if you understand where the game came from. For example, handball and lacrosse make sense in their Olympic/collegiate format if you understand soccer and/or basketball. Third, games with more players on teams are more difficult to understand. Thus, marathon running with lots of participants is easy. Twenty aside dodgeball is difficult.
Finally, the younger that you learn a game, the more logical the game appears to be.
So, if you have lots of players, with lots of stops, playing a game that does not really resemble other games, with lots of people who did not learn the game young - you get Powerder Puff Football. Impossible. Good luck coach!
For example, I find cricket virtually impossible to understand more than at the very basest level - you get a run for this, you get an out for that. I understand not at all how cricket matches could possibly last three days. Huh?
So, here's my theory - made up almost completely on the spot. First, games with significant stops for strategy time are harder to figure out than flowing games like basketball or soccer or rugby. The flowing nature of games means that they have a natural explanation over time that makes them basically understandable if you have watched one complete game. Maybe not utter mastery - but enough that you can be dangerous. Thus, you can figure out water polo relatively easily if you watch an entire match. Second, games that resemble other games but are played with a larger court, different appendage, or with slightly modified rules are always easier if you understand where the game came from. For example, handball and lacrosse make sense in their Olympic/collegiate format if you understand soccer and/or basketball. Third, games with more players on teams are more difficult to understand. Thus, marathon running with lots of participants is easy. Twenty aside dodgeball is difficult.
Finally, the younger that you learn a game, the more logical the game appears to be.
So, if you have lots of players, with lots of stops, playing a game that does not really resemble other games, with lots of people who did not learn the game young - you get Powerder Puff Football. Impossible. Good luck coach!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Triathlons
I once trained for a triathlon. I worked out hard for about four months in 1999...but I pulled one hamstring and then the other. My second pulled hamstring occurred about 4 weeks before the event, and so, I had to pull the plug on my effort. I remain disappointed.
Omaha announced its own Olympic triathlon about one month ago. The event is scheduled for next August 1. I won't commit to competing yet, but I will commit to preparing myself to compete - if someone will help me train. I don't need someone to run, swim or bike with. I need motivation and competition and team orientation.
Omaha announced its own Olympic triathlon about one month ago. The event is scheduled for next August 1. I won't commit to competing yet, but I will commit to preparing myself to compete - if someone will help me train. I don't need someone to run, swim or bike with. I need motivation and competition and team orientation.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Weather
So, it is cold in Houston...that's really too bad. We, in Omaha, feel really bad for y'all. The weather here is perfect.
I did a bit of research to determine which city has the "best" weather. This is strangely subjective because the way that you preference certain features - creates extreme rankings. For example, you may say - well, I want no rain and no cold. Fine - you win Yuma, Arizona.
You might say, well - that's not right - I want a bit of rain and a bit of cold. Good for you. You get Seattle, Washington.
I think weather is about moderation. There is nothing wrong (and many things right) about a cool fall morning and a short brisk walk to school. However, there are also a number of things wrong with the first cold weather of the year - even if five months from now, that very same weather would be a bit chilly.
Personally, I really like spring and fall. I like the moderately warm/cool weather, the smells of weather in spring (rainstorms, flowers, etc.) and the smell of crisp weather in the morning or a light jacket level football evening. I don't dislike super warmth, but don't really appreciate it anymore. I do strongly dislike cold weather (but not snow or ice). If I could get snow and ice at 28 degrees and no wind for the winter, I'd be perfectly happy. I just don't like the ball-crushing cold of a first week of February Canadian cold front that means minus fifty wind chill. Frankly, if I never had my snot freeze so hard it gave me a headache again, I would be just fine.
However, realistically, you can always complain about the weather. It will always be too cold, too hot, too rainy, too dry, too...Its about perspective. No matter where you live - it could be better (and probably worse - unless you live in Antarctica).
I did a bit of research to determine which city has the "best" weather. This is strangely subjective because the way that you preference certain features - creates extreme rankings. For example, you may say - well, I want no rain and no cold. Fine - you win Yuma, Arizona.
You might say, well - that's not right - I want a bit of rain and a bit of cold. Good for you. You get Seattle, Washington.
I think weather is about moderation. There is nothing wrong (and many things right) about a cool fall morning and a short brisk walk to school. However, there are also a number of things wrong with the first cold weather of the year - even if five months from now, that very same weather would be a bit chilly.
Personally, I really like spring and fall. I like the moderately warm/cool weather, the smells of weather in spring (rainstorms, flowers, etc.) and the smell of crisp weather in the morning or a light jacket level football evening. I don't dislike super warmth, but don't really appreciate it anymore. I do strongly dislike cold weather (but not snow or ice). If I could get snow and ice at 28 degrees and no wind for the winter, I'd be perfectly happy. I just don't like the ball-crushing cold of a first week of February Canadian cold front that means minus fifty wind chill. Frankly, if I never had my snot freeze so hard it gave me a headache again, I would be just fine.
However, realistically, you can always complain about the weather. It will always be too cold, too hot, too rainy, too dry, too...Its about perspective. No matter where you live - it could be better (and probably worse - unless you live in Antarctica).
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The only person I try to keep up with is Frank Smogas
Yes. My family went out and ding dong ditched people last night after 8pm. Yes, that is probably a horrible example that will turn my children into the Prairie Lane Street Gang. So, I am probably going to hell. But, my wife had never been...what do you do.
Anyway, we got booed at about 6pm by someone in a blue minivan. Whoever this was. They ding dong ditched us like professionals. Well done blue minivan family. They rang the doorbell, jumped in their car and all we saw were the rear view lights pulling out of the driveway. In the door, they left a bag of treats and a note that said that we have 24 hours to boo two other families.
Like most families with small children, the kids were extremely excited to do something that appeared on the edge of sanity. It was cold, rainy, dark and late. So, what the heck. We bought candy - filled up four bags and loaded up the kids in the car for some late night mischief. We let each kid pick a friend's family and we went under the cover of darkness to their house. I will tell you that we were slow and clearly this was my family's first time because we were seen by everyone except one family. This family has really small children (3 children, 4 yrs old or younger) so my wife knocked very quietly so as not to wake the kids. They may not find out they've been booed for weeks. And frankly, that family will probably never guess who it was. [I'll just say that my son Denny really respects kids with lots of Star Wars toys.] It was a completely random booing which is frankly the best kind.
So, delinquents that we are. We got home about 9pm. Put our kids in bed. Watched a movie. Stayed up too late. And we are dragging today.
By the way, I agree with sheepskin because it is sort of Greek (diploma meaning "folded paper" in Greek) and old school. But, Wikipedia is surprisingly light on the topic of why sheepskin and not leather or some other type of animal skin. I am thinking about writing a completely bogus entry into Wikipedia and posting additional bogus information on the web as a reference for this - making the reason for sheepskin even more elusive and ridiculous...Does that make me a bad person? Or am I already a bad person due to my poor parenting skills?
Anyway, we got booed at about 6pm by someone in a blue minivan. Whoever this was. They ding dong ditched us like professionals. Well done blue minivan family. They rang the doorbell, jumped in their car and all we saw were the rear view lights pulling out of the driveway. In the door, they left a bag of treats and a note that said that we have 24 hours to boo two other families.
Like most families with small children, the kids were extremely excited to do something that appeared on the edge of sanity. It was cold, rainy, dark and late. So, what the heck. We bought candy - filled up four bags and loaded up the kids in the car for some late night mischief. We let each kid pick a friend's family and we went under the cover of darkness to their house. I will tell you that we were slow and clearly this was my family's first time because we were seen by everyone except one family. This family has really small children (3 children, 4 yrs old or younger) so my wife knocked very quietly so as not to wake the kids. They may not find out they've been booed for weeks. And frankly, that family will probably never guess who it was. [I'll just say that my son Denny really respects kids with lots of Star Wars toys.] It was a completely random booing which is frankly the best kind.
So, delinquents that we are. We got home about 9pm. Put our kids in bed. Watched a movie. Stayed up too late. And we are dragging today.
By the way, I agree with sheepskin because it is sort of Greek (diploma meaning "folded paper" in Greek) and old school. But, Wikipedia is surprisingly light on the topic of why sheepskin and not leather or some other type of animal skin. I am thinking about writing a completely bogus entry into Wikipedia and posting additional bogus information on the web as a reference for this - making the reason for sheepskin even more elusive and ridiculous...Does that make me a bad person? Or am I already a bad person due to my poor parenting skills?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
On the topic of fat people wearing tights
Did you know that Houston is ugly? This is not intended to be a slight to my southern brethren. I found an interesting article from Total Beauty today (it was cross listed on CNN). The article detailed the places with the best looking guys and ugliest. [http://www.totalbeauty.com/content/gallery/p-ugly-guy-cities]
Here is the ugly list:
8. Houston
7. Philadelphia
6. Detroit
5(t). Mobile, AL
5(t). Huntington, WV
4. Greensboro, NC
3. Miami, FL
2. Hagerstown, MD
1. El Paso, TX
Okay, so I get that a girly beauty magazine sort of screwed up by having a tie and then not accounting for it in its scoring. Fine. However, I looked at their measurements, and frankly, it's a whole lot better attempt than most rankings by more prestigious magazines. They measure things like gyms per capita. number of parks, dentists per capita, etc. Moreover, if you cross list their cities with Men's Fitness' Healthiest cities (which is a very robust ranking), the two are pretty consistent. Here is that list:
Fattest Cities
1. Miami
2. Oklahoma City
3. San Antonio
4. Las Vegas
5. NYC
6. HOUSTON
7. El Paso
8. Jacksonville
9. Charlotte
10. Louisville
So, here's what I think it means. Mary should move to Omaha (which is number #9 on the Fittest Cities of Men's Fitness) lest she be forced to look at fat women (and men) in tights on a regular basis. It fits her world view much more clearly than does Houston. Simply put, Omaha is just better looking.
On a related topic, Omaha scored an "F" in the number of citizens that eat their daily allotment of fruits and vegetables. However, Omaha had very high scores in baseball and beach volleyball participation by adults. These strike me as odd considering the weather - which the magazine noted - and gave us bonus points because we had a "high" motivation score. Here's a link. Click on Omaha if you want the detail.
Which leads me to my last point. Daniel Tosh must not have read the above points because he makes fun of Nebraska and Omaha specifically. Its weird how stereotypes persist despite statistics.
Here is the ugly list:
8. Houston
7. Philadelphia
6. Detroit
5(t). Mobile, AL
5(t). Huntington, WV
4. Greensboro, NC
3. Miami, FL
2. Hagerstown, MD
1. El Paso, TX
Okay, so I get that a girly beauty magazine sort of screwed up by having a tie and then not accounting for it in its scoring. Fine. However, I looked at their measurements, and frankly, it's a whole lot better attempt than most rankings by more prestigious magazines. They measure things like gyms per capita. number of parks, dentists per capita, etc. Moreover, if you cross list their cities with Men's Fitness' Healthiest cities (which is a very robust ranking), the two are pretty consistent. Here is that list:
Fattest Cities
1. Miami
2. Oklahoma City
3. San Antonio
4. Las Vegas
5. NYC
6. HOUSTON
7. El Paso
8. Jacksonville
9. Charlotte
10. Louisville
So, here's what I think it means. Mary should move to Omaha (which is number #9 on the Fittest Cities of Men's Fitness) lest she be forced to look at fat women (and men) in tights on a regular basis. It fits her world view much more clearly than does Houston. Simply put, Omaha is just better looking.
On a related topic, Omaha scored an "F" in the number of citizens that eat their daily allotment of fruits and vegetables. However, Omaha had very high scores in baseball and beach volleyball participation by adults. These strike me as odd considering the weather - which the magazine noted - and gave us bonus points because we had a "high" motivation score. Here's a link. Click on Omaha if you want the detail.
Which leads me to my last point. Daniel Tosh must not have read the above points because he makes fun of Nebraska and Omaha specifically. Its weird how stereotypes persist despite statistics.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
You break it, you buy it
So...my preference for book stores is Barnes and Noble by a nose. Here's why:
About three months ago, my intern (Amelia) and I were holding our weekly staff meeting at the one near our office. [I know it is pathetic that two people need to go offsite to have a staff meeting. But I am a slave to my caffeine and books.] Anyway, we had a fine meeting full of much innovating and entrepreneurering and were headed out of the store.
Amelia stopped to look at a book. It was on a different table from my interests - which are pretty broad - but generally do not include fashion or "what not to wear". So, I moved on to the next table. So to set the scene, we were standing at table one and two in the middle of the store. We were just sort of idly browsing.
Anyway, a lady came up with a tray of lattes. I said, of couse I would love a pumpkin toffee cacao latte with a touch of dark chocolate trouble sauce. However, my hands were full of my meeting notes (which is a zebra patterned notebook that I got at Target for $.33 - a bit of a rip, actually - Big Lots had them for $.25). Anyway, I took my latte and were browsing. Amelia came up and asked if I was ready...and I said, ready...ha ha ha...I'm just getting started. She set her latte on a book. I looked horrified and said - "my god that is a book - the sacred holder of all things known and unknown, felt and unfelt - get that damn latte off there." Perhaps - that's a paraphrase.
Well, I proceeded to the otehr side of the table and reached down for a book. At that exact moment, I had the vision of a humingbird (or something incredibly fast) and I made a slight twitch with my left hand which was balancing my latte cup, my notebook, and my coat. This triggered a chain reaction which included me using the notebook to swat my open faced latte across about ten stacks of books on the table. Amelia laughed very loudly at the sight - drawing some unwanted attention from the Barnes and Noble toughs. I looked downright, dumbass stupified.
I dragged my sorry self to the information desk and humiliatedly related my tale. The man at the desk looked at me and said, "really, let me come and see." He came over to my ground zero - which now had a gathering of squawky young moms in track suits. He said, "Wow!" Then, he preceded to clear approximately one-half of the table because the latte like fluid had slipped down on to the table top and was spreading amongst the crevasses like the Venetian canals. Approximately 70 books were damaged requiring Roger to make about four separate trips to "restock the books" I want to note for my wife - I did not say - I'll pay for that. I simply looked as small as a man wearing a nice black suit - holding a coffee stained zebra patterened notebook and suit coat - can (while his young intern laughs her ass of about three feet behind him). He said, "Don't worry about it. This happens all the time. We'll just send it back to the publishers and tell them that we received a faulty shipment." I smiled. I laughed. I hugged the man. I told him that I was on child five - but my sixth would be named Roger. I openly wept.
Thus, Barnes and Noble is my favorite bookstore. Customer service matters - even when your customer is a clumsy dumbass with a latte all over him.
About three months ago, my intern (Amelia) and I were holding our weekly staff meeting at the one near our office. [I know it is pathetic that two people need to go offsite to have a staff meeting. But I am a slave to my caffeine and books.] Anyway, we had a fine meeting full of much innovating and entrepreneurering and were headed out of the store.
Amelia stopped to look at a book. It was on a different table from my interests - which are pretty broad - but generally do not include fashion or "what not to wear". So, I moved on to the next table. So to set the scene, we were standing at table one and two in the middle of the store. We were just sort of idly browsing.
Anyway, a lady came up with a tray of lattes. I said, of couse I would love a pumpkin toffee cacao latte with a touch of dark chocolate trouble sauce. However, my hands were full of my meeting notes (which is a zebra patterned notebook that I got at Target for $.33 - a bit of a rip, actually - Big Lots had them for $.25). Anyway, I took my latte and were browsing. Amelia came up and asked if I was ready...and I said, ready...ha ha ha...I'm just getting started. She set her latte on a book. I looked horrified and said - "my god that is a book - the sacred holder of all things known and unknown, felt and unfelt - get that damn latte off there." Perhaps - that's a paraphrase.
Well, I proceeded to the otehr side of the table and reached down for a book. At that exact moment, I had the vision of a humingbird (or something incredibly fast) and I made a slight twitch with my left hand which was balancing my latte cup, my notebook, and my coat. This triggered a chain reaction which included me using the notebook to swat my open faced latte across about ten stacks of books on the table. Amelia laughed very loudly at the sight - drawing some unwanted attention from the Barnes and Noble toughs. I looked downright, dumbass stupified.
I dragged my sorry self to the information desk and humiliatedly related my tale. The man at the desk looked at me and said, "really, let me come and see." He came over to my ground zero - which now had a gathering of squawky young moms in track suits. He said, "Wow!" Then, he preceded to clear approximately one-half of the table because the latte like fluid had slipped down on to the table top and was spreading amongst the crevasses like the Venetian canals. Approximately 70 books were damaged requiring Roger to make about four separate trips to "restock the books" I want to note for my wife - I did not say - I'll pay for that. I simply looked as small as a man wearing a nice black suit - holding a coffee stained zebra patterened notebook and suit coat - can (while his young intern laughs her ass of about three feet behind him). He said, "Don't worry about it. This happens all the time. We'll just send it back to the publishers and tell them that we received a faulty shipment." I smiled. I laughed. I hugged the man. I told him that I was on child five - but my sixth would be named Roger. I openly wept.
Thus, Barnes and Noble is my favorite bookstore. Customer service matters - even when your customer is a clumsy dumbass with a latte all over him.
Monday, October 19, 2009
See last post, first paragraph, strike that
Okay, Joey Harrington phenomenom...
Actually, did you know that Joey Harrington is actually an elite piano player having played with Blues Traveler and Third Eye Blind. Personally, I wish that more football players (even the ones that were a bit of a let down) were as respectable as Mr. Harrington. The guy does philanthropic work, plays reasonably adequate football, and can hold a regular conversation off the field. He is also my sister's favorite player - explaining the autographed picture that she keeps on her night stand.
In all seriousness, I sort of think that certain things help people excel at sports. One of those things is music. I think that being a strong pianist or guitar player helps people develop discipline and creativity which are almost always necessary as an athlete. So, I did a little research at that oft quoted fact with limited independent analysis - does piano make people smarter, better students, etc.
Here is what I found. In a 1997 article from Neurological Research, there is documented evidence to suggest that learning piano in elementary school helps kids develop certain "hard-wiring" that prepares people to be better mathematicians. Here is a quote from the summary article: "Piano instruction is thought to enhance the brain's "hard-wiring" for spatial-temporal reasoning, or the ability to visualize and transform objects in space and time, Shaw said. Music involves ratios, fractions, proportions and thinking in space and time."
As a key proviso, all of the Chapman kids were required to take piano. If we had not taken piano, would be less smart? More importantly, is it possible that we - the Chapman kids, even with musical training, could be any less musical as a raw collection of humans - was this a cause or effect or simply a genetic predisposition?
Actually, did you know that Joey Harrington is actually an elite piano player having played with Blues Traveler and Third Eye Blind. Personally, I wish that more football players (even the ones that were a bit of a let down) were as respectable as Mr. Harrington. The guy does philanthropic work, plays reasonably adequate football, and can hold a regular conversation off the field. He is also my sister's favorite player - explaining the autographed picture that she keeps on her night stand.
In all seriousness, I sort of think that certain things help people excel at sports. One of those things is music. I think that being a strong pianist or guitar player helps people develop discipline and creativity which are almost always necessary as an athlete. So, I did a little research at that oft quoted fact with limited independent analysis - does piano make people smarter, better students, etc.
Here is what I found. In a 1997 article from Neurological Research, there is documented evidence to suggest that learning piano in elementary school helps kids develop certain "hard-wiring" that prepares people to be better mathematicians. Here is a quote from the summary article: "Piano instruction is thought to enhance the brain's "hard-wiring" for spatial-temporal reasoning, or the ability to visualize and transform objects in space and time, Shaw said. Music involves ratios, fractions, proportions and thinking in space and time."
As a key proviso, all of the Chapman kids were required to take piano. If we had not taken piano, would be less smart? More importantly, is it possible that we - the Chapman kids, even with musical training, could be any less musical as a raw collection of humans - was this a cause or effect or simply a genetic predisposition?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Beach Balls, the EPL Is Awesome
As I have said in the past, this blog is really about commenting on topics suggested by my sister Mary's blog. She appears to be setting the table nicely by talking about things that I like to talk about. One big thing lately is soccer.
So over the weekend, perhaps the most amazing thing that I have seen yet. Beach ball scores a goal for Sunderland - beating Liverpool (1-0). It has to be seen to be believed. But, even better than the goal itself was the announcers. First, the announcers said something to the effect of Darren Bent has been simply on fire. He has completely crossed up Pepe Reina (the keeper for Liverpool) with this outstanding strike. Then, after watching the replay about four times in slow motion and watching Reina get baffled by the ball bounding off the "balloon" at high speed and lunging for the balloon - the announceners basically say it 1) would have probably been a goal anyway, 2) that Reina just needs to man up and 3) that Liverpool simply isn't playing hard enough to complain. So, nothing like - "huh, that's awfully strange that ball just bounced off a beach ball." No instead it was completely and totally Liverpool's fault and no one should question the integrity of this outstanding goal by Darren Bent.
On a side note, Darren Bent was the leading scorer for another EPL team last year. Spurs. I knew this without having to look at any of his historic stats. 'arry ditched 'im this year to upgrade 'is strikers. 'e brought in Crouchy (Peter Crouch), Jermain DeFoe and kept Robbie Keane and Roman Pavlyuchenko. Even with Bent having scored six goals in five games for Sunderland (who plays at the Stadium of Light - possibly the coolest stadium name ever), I think 'arry made the right choice.
The key to being an American trying to follow soccer is that you need a support group. Don't try to do this alone. I finally found someone that watches soccer in my office, and I was shocked by who it is. Othello Meadows is a big EPL fan. He likes Chelsea - particularly Didier Drogba - who frankly IS awesome - even if he does play for a Spurs rival. Why wouldn't I have guessed Othello? Because I have known him for literally twenty years, his interest is new found as well - in the last couple of years.
Finally, there is no "the" in front of Spurs. But overall, good effort Mary.
So over the weekend, perhaps the most amazing thing that I have seen yet. Beach ball scores a goal for Sunderland - beating Liverpool (1-0). It has to be seen to be believed. But, even better than the goal itself was the announcers. First, the announcers said something to the effect of Darren Bent has been simply on fire. He has completely crossed up Pepe Reina (the keeper for Liverpool) with this outstanding strike. Then, after watching the replay about four times in slow motion and watching Reina get baffled by the ball bounding off the "balloon" at high speed and lunging for the balloon - the announceners basically say it 1) would have probably been a goal anyway, 2) that Reina just needs to man up and 3) that Liverpool simply isn't playing hard enough to complain. So, nothing like - "huh, that's awfully strange that ball just bounced off a beach ball." No instead it was completely and totally Liverpool's fault and no one should question the integrity of this outstanding goal by Darren Bent.
On a side note, Darren Bent was the leading scorer for another EPL team last year. Spurs. I knew this without having to look at any of his historic stats. 'arry ditched 'im this year to upgrade 'is strikers. 'e brought in Crouchy (Peter Crouch), Jermain DeFoe and kept Robbie Keane and Roman Pavlyuchenko. Even with Bent having scored six goals in five games for Sunderland (who plays at the Stadium of Light - possibly the coolest stadium name ever), I think 'arry made the right choice.
The key to being an American trying to follow soccer is that you need a support group. Don't try to do this alone. I finally found someone that watches soccer in my office, and I was shocked by who it is. Othello Meadows is a big EPL fan. He likes Chelsea - particularly Didier Drogba - who frankly IS awesome - even if he does play for a Spurs rival. Why wouldn't I have guessed Othello? Because I have known him for literally twenty years, his interest is new found as well - in the last couple of years.
Finally, there is no "the" in front of Spurs. But overall, good effort Mary.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Parallel Posting
Over the years, I have discovered that I am not terribly creative. Once given an idea, I can embellish it; I can grow it; I can destroy it; but I can't create it. [I have also discovered over the years that I cannot tell jokes; I have a good sense of humor (so people say) and I am witty and sarcastic - but I can't tell a punchline joke...but that's for a different post.]
So, I am going to follow my sister's blog - South Carolina to Santa Cruz - and attempt to provide the Tom Conversion by embellishing her story with tid-bits of information that may provide color and rounding to the very few that read my additional posts.
So, in response to the comments - encouragement is the key. I want Mary to know that we are watching and patiently experiencing her creative blogging development. Good work Mary - we're all rooting for you.
Here is the story behind the forcefield story. Force fields were actually created by a guest in our house - I believe it was Anne Stevens - although maybe it was someone else. Force fields were created because the Chapman kids would gang up on the newbie with direct sock and annie doll assaults from many different angles. In addition, as the Chapman kids were tremendous dorks - things like that's not fair or stop it you are hurting me - simply did not work. Instead, only the use of intellect (so maybe it wasn't Anne Stevens - notice the e) was able to overcome us. So, much as Denny was befuddled for many minutes by Mary's circa 2009 use of the forcefield. So were the Chapman children of lore. The Garfield and Odi additions were only added later when it was discovered that certain Chapmans (and it was certainly not me) were, I am sure inadvertently, launching sneak attacks with socks and other various projectiles after certain other Chapmans (and this really was not me) had fallen asleep. If I remember correctly, Jim woke up one morning with an entire drawer full of socks in his bed. Thereby creating a whole new need for a forcefield.
So, I am going to follow my sister's blog - South Carolina to Santa Cruz - and attempt to provide the Tom Conversion by embellishing her story with tid-bits of information that may provide color and rounding to the very few that read my additional posts.
So, in response to the comments - encouragement is the key. I want Mary to know that we are watching and patiently experiencing her creative blogging development. Good work Mary - we're all rooting for you.
Here is the story behind the forcefield story. Force fields were actually created by a guest in our house - I believe it was Anne Stevens - although maybe it was someone else. Force fields were created because the Chapman kids would gang up on the newbie with direct sock and annie doll assaults from many different angles. In addition, as the Chapman kids were tremendous dorks - things like that's not fair or stop it you are hurting me - simply did not work. Instead, only the use of intellect (so maybe it wasn't Anne Stevens - notice the e) was able to overcome us. So, much as Denny was befuddled for many minutes by Mary's circa 2009 use of the forcefield. So were the Chapman children of lore. The Garfield and Odi additions were only added later when it was discovered that certain Chapmans (and it was certainly not me) were, I am sure inadvertently, launching sneak attacks with socks and other various projectiles after certain other Chapmans (and this really was not me) had fallen asleep. If I remember correctly, Jim woke up one morning with an entire drawer full of socks in his bed. Thereby creating a whole new need for a forcefield.
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