My sister graduated from Rice University over the weekend. Congratulations, Mary!!! On her last coherent night alive (it was Thursday night; she died the following Sunday), my mother and I talked a long time about Mary and college. That was our last conversation.
My mom was awesome in a lot of ways, but one of the biggest was she was very intent on education. For most of that conversation, my mom explained how worried she was that Mary would have a hard time adjusting to life without her and that it would compound into a bad college decision. My mom was particularly concerned that Mary would have no friends, fail out of school, and be unable to find a good job.
My mom really wanted Mary to go to Notre Dame because she felt that they would have the support and best interests of Mary in mind. Mary did not get into Notre Dame despite having excellent grades, extracurriculars, etc. I believe that this may have been the worst mistake that Notre Dame has ever made. Truly, even worse than hiring Gerry Faust as head football coach.
So, Mary proceeded to be wildly popular at school, graduate with a positive GPA (let's not get carried away here - we weren't in Kim's stratosphere here), and find a compelling job...as a dining attendant...in Antarctica. Okay, 2 out of 3 aren't bad. Congratulations, Mary!!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
On my way to the forum
So, here's a rather pathetic although somewhat funny story about my weekend with the kids. I was scrambling all weekend. And when you are scrambling, you sometimes make stupid mistakes. Here's one of mine.
So, on Thursday night, I had to do interviews with potential Young Professional Manager candidates. Coach a soccer practice. Host a start-up drinks evening. Get home by 9pm. I did this almost (I was about 25 minutes late) - all with the gas light on in my car. I knew it was on - but I calculated that I had 40 miles until I would be out of gas. When I reached home, I had already traveled 47 miles - but I had internally calculated 30.
At 8:52am on my way to Big Omaha, I discovered that my calculations were wrong. I ran out of gas about 1/2 mile from the Martha Street exit in Omaha. Oops. Big Omaha started at 9am, and I had been hoping to get downtown and get gas at the Cubby's in the Old Market. I was about 2 miles short. Oops.
So, I walked to the BP at 24th and Martha. It took me about 20 minutes. During this walk, I climbed a fence, walked through a vacant lot with very high grass, and discovered that my short cut actually led me to virtually the exact spot where I started it - thanks to railroad tracks and a winding road. Way to go me. At the BP, I performed the walk of shame by walking in without a car and purchasing a gas can. The lady who was the assistant attendant said, "I hate it when I run out of gas. But, luckily it doesn't happen that often." I said, "my first time." She laughed and revealed that she had no teeth. I was already late for the conference (this is kind of a big conference for me professionally - I was already a little embarrassed that I wasn't there early - but the nanny could not get in until 8:30) really embarrassed and all sorts of stories were running through my head as to why I was late...my nanny was late, I had something to do at work, etc.
Anyway, I proceeded outside to fill up my newly purchase fire engine red gas tank, and BAM - the gas erupted off the floor of the tank and splattered everywhere - including my shirt, pants, shoes, and hands. I knew it was bad but hoped that in my anxious state, I was just being paranoid. I walked back to my car - arriving at 9:28am. I put the gas in the tank. I got in and drove to the same BP on 24th and Martha. I filled the tank.
I smelled like gas but I was not sure how strongly. I stopped at the Starbucks on 15th to get Pickles her second caramel latte because the first had grown cold when I ran out of gas and had to spend roughly an hour resolving the issue. As I walked in - there were three people in line. When she ordered, the woman directly in front of me, a young woman wearing a white shirt and dark skirt (black or a very dark navy) said to the barista - do you smell gas. I think you might have a gas thing going on. Oops. So, I got my latte. Didn't need another coffee since I had already had one and walked 2 miles that morning. Got in the car. 9:43.
Decided that I had to suck it up and go home and shower. So, I did. I called my nanny and asked her to put the only other jeans that I could account for in the drying machine. Basically, I had been doing laundry the night before and had considered staying up late to ensure that I would have this pair for the conference. I did not dry them, but I did put them in the wash. Lucky.
Got home 9:59. Stripped. Showered. Changed. Grabbed the new jeans - wet behind the knee, but overall pretty dry. Put on last year's BigOmaha shirt because it seemed like I needed to legitimize my credibility after arriving so late.
Out the door 10:08. Pretty solid transition. Drove down and decided to park at the Chamber. 10:26. Walked very fast to Aroma's where I got Pickles her third caramel latte of the day. For which she thanked me and told me how good it tasted. I really hope it did because it cost about 12 bucks all in.
As I walked out, who should be standing at the corner but Dusty D and Danny S (who I know well) - two of the three hosts of the conference. Oops. They said something like - hey how's it going. I said, Great - Super good conference or some such. And they said, you just getting here. I looked sheepish and admitted that I was. I had a bit of a gas problem...you see. They looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in history. And it is possible that I am.
So, on Thursday night, I had to do interviews with potential Young Professional Manager candidates. Coach a soccer practice. Host a start-up drinks evening. Get home by 9pm. I did this almost (I was about 25 minutes late) - all with the gas light on in my car. I knew it was on - but I calculated that I had 40 miles until I would be out of gas. When I reached home, I had already traveled 47 miles - but I had internally calculated 30.
At 8:52am on my way to Big Omaha, I discovered that my calculations were wrong. I ran out of gas about 1/2 mile from the Martha Street exit in Omaha. Oops. Big Omaha started at 9am, and I had been hoping to get downtown and get gas at the Cubby's in the Old Market. I was about 2 miles short. Oops.
So, I walked to the BP at 24th and Martha. It took me about 20 minutes. During this walk, I climbed a fence, walked through a vacant lot with very high grass, and discovered that my short cut actually led me to virtually the exact spot where I started it - thanks to railroad tracks and a winding road. Way to go me. At the BP, I performed the walk of shame by walking in without a car and purchasing a gas can. The lady who was the assistant attendant said, "I hate it when I run out of gas. But, luckily it doesn't happen that often." I said, "my first time." She laughed and revealed that she had no teeth. I was already late for the conference (this is kind of a big conference for me professionally - I was already a little embarrassed that I wasn't there early - but the nanny could not get in until 8:30) really embarrassed and all sorts of stories were running through my head as to why I was late...my nanny was late, I had something to do at work, etc.
Anyway, I proceeded outside to fill up my newly purchase fire engine red gas tank, and BAM - the gas erupted off the floor of the tank and splattered everywhere - including my shirt, pants, shoes, and hands. I knew it was bad but hoped that in my anxious state, I was just being paranoid. I walked back to my car - arriving at 9:28am. I put the gas in the tank. I got in and drove to the same BP on 24th and Martha. I filled the tank.
I smelled like gas but I was not sure how strongly. I stopped at the Starbucks on 15th to get Pickles her second caramel latte because the first had grown cold when I ran out of gas and had to spend roughly an hour resolving the issue. As I walked in - there were three people in line. When she ordered, the woman directly in front of me, a young woman wearing a white shirt and dark skirt (black or a very dark navy) said to the barista - do you smell gas. I think you might have a gas thing going on. Oops. So, I got my latte. Didn't need another coffee since I had already had one and walked 2 miles that morning. Got in the car. 9:43.
Decided that I had to suck it up and go home and shower. So, I did. I called my nanny and asked her to put the only other jeans that I could account for in the drying machine. Basically, I had been doing laundry the night before and had considered staying up late to ensure that I would have this pair for the conference. I did not dry them, but I did put them in the wash. Lucky.
Got home 9:59. Stripped. Showered. Changed. Grabbed the new jeans - wet behind the knee, but overall pretty dry. Put on last year's BigOmaha shirt because it seemed like I needed to legitimize my credibility after arriving so late.
Out the door 10:08. Pretty solid transition. Drove down and decided to park at the Chamber. 10:26. Walked very fast to Aroma's where I got Pickles her third caramel latte of the day. For which she thanked me and told me how good it tasted. I really hope it did because it cost about 12 bucks all in.
As I walked out, who should be standing at the corner but Dusty D and Danny S (who I know well) - two of the three hosts of the conference. Oops. They said something like - hey how's it going. I said, Great - Super good conference or some such. And they said, you just getting here. I looked sheepish and admitted that I was. I had a bit of a gas problem...you see. They looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in history. And it is possible that I am.
Friday, May 14, 2010
On the APM
Tonight my wife is out of town as is my oldest son. So, my kids and I had a low key night at the Amazing Pizza Machine. It was surprisingly awesome for me and my two daughters. I was confident that the boys would have a good time but Martha is a ticket machine - she hit like four jackpots without even being able to see the game - just by hitting a button or spinning a wheel. She is amazing.
So this brings me to my family's odd talents. First, my sister Mary just got a job as "dining attendant" in Antarctica. Excuse me. What? - yeah that Antarctica - penguins, cold, seals, cold, birds, cold - freaking freezing cold. Second, while standing at the Amazing Pizza Machine, I saw the three-pronged stuffed animal lift game. It made me miss James. About 2 years ago we had dinner at Mama's Pizza in West Omaha and James literally won eight animals out of nine tries on that machine. Odd, yes I think so. I miss that guy and was sad when I went into the shared boys room and there was an empty bed.
So this brings me to my family's odd talents. First, my sister Mary just got a job as "dining attendant" in Antarctica. Excuse me. What? - yeah that Antarctica - penguins, cold, seals, cold, birds, cold - freaking freezing cold. Second, while standing at the Amazing Pizza Machine, I saw the three-pronged stuffed animal lift game. It made me miss James. About 2 years ago we had dinner at Mama's Pizza in West Omaha and James literally won eight animals out of nine tries on that machine. Odd, yes I think so. I miss that guy and was sad when I went into the shared boys room and there was an empty bed.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Damn You St. Roberts, Damn You
The U7/U8 St. Roberts Rumbles defeated the pathetic MOQ Sounders today 7-0. The MOQ Sounders goal differential is now (-27) or 4 - 31 in five games. As a coach, I should be sacked. Unfortunately, I think that I might be the best we got. So, I just need to sack up and keep on going.
Here are a couple of my issues. So encouragement or advice is welcome on this one.
I started saying Forward/Striker, Midfielder (x2), Defender, Goalie (1-2-1) at the beginning of last year. So far we are 0-11 in this formation. Should I move to a 3-1 or a 2-2? Play without midfielders and very specific roles for each player to create spacing - so everyone gets a box.
Second, simple directions seem beyond my team. I have now spent significant practice time and tell the kids (and I am right next to them because I am also the referee) before every goal kick. Do not kick the ball in the middle of the field. And yet, again today - we had 2 goals against thanks to goal kicks that were probably kicked five feet in front of the goalie into the middle of the field where St. Bob's grabbed the ball and kicked the ball right in. Now should I simply a) simply be quiet - no direction at all that may mean a 20 goal defeat, but so be it, b)pull the goalie if they kick it in the middle of the field - meaning that I may be out of goalies by half-time, c) keep on swimming by telling them and just sort of recognizing that they are a group of 7 year olds with limited retention abilities (salient points of fact will slip out of their minds in under one second).
Third, after being scored upon and asked by my goalie - do I get to kick it? Knowing that this is not the first time or even the 21st time that we have been scored upon this year, should I tell them: a) yes - everyone is on offense, we need to go for broke and make up some goals here, b) no - I am sorry but you just allowed in the worst goal that I have ever witnessed as a coach or player - including the Mike Knust daisy picking goal, or c) be a good sport and ask them - what just happened? Kid: "uh...they scored a goal." So then what happens next? Kid: "uh...I kick it." No, actually we get a kickoff. Kid: "Oh good, can I kick it?" Uh, no - we're going to let our striker kick it off.
Fourth, today we had nine timeouts to tie shoes. Should I a) John Wooden them and start every practice and game with a sock putting on, shinguard, second sock, shoes putting on session? Or should I b) make them all tie their shoes before they can have treats after the end of the game? Or c) should I simply tell them to play without shoes? Or d) give up and secretly hope someone falls and creates a twister-esque pile up?
Fifth, when I am coaching an away game should I tell the other coach who asks me to ref to a) screw off, b) take my whistle and blow it, c) that I would be happy to or d) call the league office and force them to send the other team to forfeit the game (thus making the environment right for a potential first career victory for the MOQ Sounders).
Just asking for some help here. Anything would be useful.
Here are a couple of my issues. So encouragement or advice is welcome on this one.
I started saying Forward/Striker, Midfielder (x2), Defender, Goalie (1-2-1) at the beginning of last year. So far we are 0-11 in this formation. Should I move to a 3-1 or a 2-2? Play without midfielders and very specific roles for each player to create spacing - so everyone gets a box.
Second, simple directions seem beyond my team. I have now spent significant practice time and tell the kids (and I am right next to them because I am also the referee) before every goal kick. Do not kick the ball in the middle of the field. And yet, again today - we had 2 goals against thanks to goal kicks that were probably kicked five feet in front of the goalie into the middle of the field where St. Bob's grabbed the ball and kicked the ball right in. Now should I simply a) simply be quiet - no direction at all that may mean a 20 goal defeat, but so be it, b)pull the goalie if they kick it in the middle of the field - meaning that I may be out of goalies by half-time, c) keep on swimming by telling them and just sort of recognizing that they are a group of 7 year olds with limited retention abilities (salient points of fact will slip out of their minds in under one second).
Third, after being scored upon and asked by my goalie - do I get to kick it? Knowing that this is not the first time or even the 21st time that we have been scored upon this year, should I tell them: a) yes - everyone is on offense, we need to go for broke and make up some goals here, b) no - I am sorry but you just allowed in the worst goal that I have ever witnessed as a coach or player - including the Mike Knust daisy picking goal, or c) be a good sport and ask them - what just happened? Kid: "uh...they scored a goal." So then what happens next? Kid: "uh...I kick it." No, actually we get a kickoff. Kid: "Oh good, can I kick it?" Uh, no - we're going to let our striker kick it off.
Fourth, today we had nine timeouts to tie shoes. Should I a) John Wooden them and start every practice and game with a sock putting on, shinguard, second sock, shoes putting on session? Or should I b) make them all tie their shoes before they can have treats after the end of the game? Or c) should I simply tell them to play without shoes? Or d) give up and secretly hope someone falls and creates a twister-esque pile up?
Fifth, when I am coaching an away game should I tell the other coach who asks me to ref to a) screw off, b) take my whistle and blow it, c) that I would be happy to or d) call the league office and force them to send the other team to forfeit the game (thus making the environment right for a potential first career victory for the MOQ Sounders).
Just asking for some help here. Anything would be useful.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Its funny what makes you laugh
A voice from my childhood just called and left a message on my phone. Kent Pavelka called and said - "touchdown, touchdown, touchdown....don't throw the oranges."
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Spurs into Champions League
Tottenham Hotspur will play in the European Champions League next season after a truly brilliant performance against Manchester City (1-0). I watched the action on my TiVo and have been anxious since the game started at 1:45 CDT. When Crouch scored in the 82 minutes, I literally started running around the room ending in a rolling double fist pump. God Bless You, Peter Crouch.
1-20
Last year, my soccer team was 0-6. This year my soccer team is 0-4. My microsoccer teams have not won a game that I coached in three seasons (0-9). My baseball record was 0-1 so far this year. I almost cried last night when the Prairie Lane Yellow Bellied Sea Slugs were victorious 7-1. Honestly, I did.
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