Wednesday, December 17, 2014
The Return
I am trying to get better at writing blog posts. No one reads this blog so it is a fine place for me to place long form things.
I am reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" again. It is terrific. However, I had to have a hard conversation with my 13 yr old because of the language in the book. I don't have a problem with the language - but it is hard to explain to your son why certain words are beyond taboo. I am white and thus, I do not always fully appreciate racism, racist words, and racially insensitive things. However, to my mind, there are a number of things going on in this world right now that make TKaM still pretty darn relevant.
I mentioned Ferguson to him. He had no idea what was going on. I talked to him (at him may be more appropriate) about North Omaha and how it discourages me as a fairly privileged white person. I don't know what to do to help and feel like I am "in the way" or only helping to be noticed.
I thought about the Washington NFL team. I wondered about why that does not seem to change. Why is it even a debate.
So, here is what we are doing right now - trying to be more inclusive and thoughtful. We celebrated Hanukkah this week - jelly doughnuts and brisket. We are starting a book club, reading the classics - Great Gatsby (which strangely I had never read) and to Kill a Mockingbird. And I am trying to talk to my son about hard issues when we are alone (usually around his swim practices). That feels like something...
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Monday, January 24, 2011
Walking
So over the last three weeks, Cheryl and I have been workout warriors. I am now up to running about 3 miles a day at about 4.9-5.0mph. So, I take about 35-45 minutes depending on my speed and the number of interruptions. This may not seem like much, but considering that I was essentially starting from nothing. I feel pretty good about it.
I think this success makes my half-marathon in May a lot more realistic.
I think this success makes my half-marathon in May a lot more realistic.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Check out the w8loss competition blog [w8losscompetition.wordpress.com]. It's awesome. Chapman v. Lichtenberg 2011.
Cheryl and I have started the new year off with a workout bang. Cheryl has already done 3 hours of walking in two plus days and I have run, well not very far...but I did actually run.
In setting up the w8loss competition, I was trying to find a motivation that would actually get me to work out, and frankly, I could not come up with anything compelling enough. Any ideas? I think public humiliation is probably most effective, but honestly, I can't even come up with a reason that someone might publicly humiliate me.
I wore a sweater vest today to work. It was too keep me warm and instead it just made me look like a dork.
Check out Mary's blog - five posts in five days - maryschapman.blogspot.com
Cheryl and I have started the new year off with a workout bang. Cheryl has already done 3 hours of walking in two plus days and I have run, well not very far...but I did actually run.
In setting up the w8loss competition, I was trying to find a motivation that would actually get me to work out, and frankly, I could not come up with anything compelling enough. Any ideas? I think public humiliation is probably most effective, but honestly, I can't even come up with a reason that someone might publicly humiliate me.
I wore a sweater vest today to work. It was too keep me warm and instead it just made me look like a dork.
Check out Mary's blog - five posts in five days - maryschapman.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Odds and Ins
What is the leading internet web browser in Antarctica? Firefox. At one point Firefox had a 100% usage rate in Antarctica. I think the US should probably be thinking about ways to prevent this monopolist from dictating all terms regarding web based tools in the great white south.
Spurs qualified for the knock out stage as the group winner this week with their tie of FC Twente (3-3). It was a spirited game, but it left me hoping that 'arry will find some defensive strength during the winter transfer window. We consistently lose people on the wings and could use a good, more consistent defensive four.
We have created a new award at the Chapman derivative house, called the Spirit of Christmas Award. In general, it has created a very compelling competition between the children to appear nicest to each other (even when they are not actually being very nice) - although sometimes they are actually being nice.
Creighton's basketball team is not very good. They stand around on offense and have some of the worst defensive rotations and strategy that I have ever seen in a major college basketball team. They play a powder defense without clear focal points for collapse. Its awful and highly depressing.
Spurs qualified for the knock out stage as the group winner this week with their tie of FC Twente (3-3). It was a spirited game, but it left me hoping that 'arry will find some defensive strength during the winter transfer window. We consistently lose people on the wings and could use a good, more consistent defensive four.
We have created a new award at the Chapman derivative house, called the Spirit of Christmas Award. In general, it has created a very compelling competition between the children to appear nicest to each other (even when they are not actually being very nice) - although sometimes they are actually being nice.
Creighton's basketball team is not very good. They stand around on offense and have some of the worst defensive rotations and strategy that I have ever seen in a major college basketball team. They play a powder defense without clear focal points for collapse. Its awful and highly depressing.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
On poop
My wife claims that people don't want to hear about other people's kid's poop stories. I disagree.
In defense of my wife, she has premised a corollary - people with kids are more willing to listen to other people's stories if they are allowed to tell their own kid's poop stories. I still disagree.
Generally, I have found as a parent that telling stories of the times that my kids have done awful, ridiculous or otherwise bad things are actually the stories that most people appear to engage in most fully. Specifically, people don't want to hear about how delightful your children were at church. They want to hear the story about how Martha got lost and ran down the middle aisle shouting for her parents. Or the time that the priest actually asked you to leave. These are the stories upon which universal laughs are built.
Thus, poop. While everyone poops, the art of telling a really funny story is knowing that its a little bit off. The reason that jokes work is that people don't necessarily see the punchline coming - but they know its going to be funny. Poop stories are the same way. When poop is involved, you know it has to be seriously ridiculous to deserve a mention. Nobody tells the following story and expects to get a laugh.
My one month old pooped yesterday. It was yellow, slimy and disgusting.
Instead...tell the story like this:
As new parents, Cheryl and I could not actually tell the other person to do anything by themselves. Cheryl and Tom did the baby's laundry together. Cheryl and Tom breastfed together. Cheryl and Tom changed diapers together. Thus, when James was about one month old, Cheryl and Tom were changing James' diaper. While we were newbies at the whole parenting thing, James had managed to live a month under our parentage, and thus, we figured that we were prepared for just about anything. We were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. So as luck would have it (and never has a truer phrase been written) Tom drew the short straw and was the one actually executing the diaper change. So, I was to the side of James and Cheryl was talking to me at the end of our changing table. Thus, Cheryl and I could make newly minted parent eye contact and discuss such compelling topics as which type of baby rash ointment we should use on this diaper change. cute, I know.
So, as I was changing James, he grunted quietly and then his sphincter contracted slightly. After that, its unclear exactly what transpired. What I can say is that I had a good seat and still could not clearly describe the indescribable. Basically, James unleashed a 50 kiloton mustard bomb on his mother - hitting her squarely in the midsection. This mustard bomb was new baby poop - yellow, slimy and disgusting. It was seedy, and it was all over Cheryl's shirt (or as luck would have it my shirt since she was actually wearing one of my shirts that day).
We both stood horrified in shock for approximately 10 seconds. And then we both took big, gasping breaths as if we had just seen the unthinkable (which we had). I am not sure that either of us spoke. All I can remember is the desire to get that seedy scene and particularly the vinegary smell out of my brain - but alas, it has not happened yet. Today we refer to this as the mustard bomb incident and it will live in infamy in this house.
To this day, we have never had a child repeat this explosion with the velocity and targeting of James. We have learned our lesson. We change diapers in a prepared state with a clean diaper underneath the soiled diaper, ready to be moved into the appropriate position if that sphincter so much as twitches funny.
Now, that's a poop story that even non-parents can appreciate. Same story, better build up and explosive climax. So, as a non-parent or parent, how do you feel regarding other people's kids poops? Never? Only when its well-told? Always up for a good pooper story? Please comment and let me know what you think.
In defense of my wife, she has premised a corollary - people with kids are more willing to listen to other people's stories if they are allowed to tell their own kid's poop stories. I still disagree.
Generally, I have found as a parent that telling stories of the times that my kids have done awful, ridiculous or otherwise bad things are actually the stories that most people appear to engage in most fully. Specifically, people don't want to hear about how delightful your children were at church. They want to hear the story about how Martha got lost and ran down the middle aisle shouting for her parents. Or the time that the priest actually asked you to leave. These are the stories upon which universal laughs are built.
Thus, poop. While everyone poops, the art of telling a really funny story is knowing that its a little bit off. The reason that jokes work is that people don't necessarily see the punchline coming - but they know its going to be funny. Poop stories are the same way. When poop is involved, you know it has to be seriously ridiculous to deserve a mention. Nobody tells the following story and expects to get a laugh.
My one month old pooped yesterday. It was yellow, slimy and disgusting.
Instead...tell the story like this:
As new parents, Cheryl and I could not actually tell the other person to do anything by themselves. Cheryl and Tom did the baby's laundry together. Cheryl and Tom breastfed together. Cheryl and Tom changed diapers together. Thus, when James was about one month old, Cheryl and Tom were changing James' diaper. While we were newbies at the whole parenting thing, James had managed to live a month under our parentage, and thus, we figured that we were prepared for just about anything. We were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. So as luck would have it (and never has a truer phrase been written) Tom drew the short straw and was the one actually executing the diaper change. So, I was to the side of James and Cheryl was talking to me at the end of our changing table. Thus, Cheryl and I could make newly minted parent eye contact and discuss such compelling topics as which type of baby rash ointment we should use on this diaper change. cute, I know.
So, as I was changing James, he grunted quietly and then his sphincter contracted slightly. After that, its unclear exactly what transpired. What I can say is that I had a good seat and still could not clearly describe the indescribable. Basically, James unleashed a 50 kiloton mustard bomb on his mother - hitting her squarely in the midsection. This mustard bomb was new baby poop - yellow, slimy and disgusting. It was seedy, and it was all over Cheryl's shirt (or as luck would have it my shirt since she was actually wearing one of my shirts that day).
We both stood horrified in shock for approximately 10 seconds. And then we both took big, gasping breaths as if we had just seen the unthinkable (which we had). I am not sure that either of us spoke. All I can remember is the desire to get that seedy scene and particularly the vinegary smell out of my brain - but alas, it has not happened yet. Today we refer to this as the mustard bomb incident and it will live in infamy in this house.
To this day, we have never had a child repeat this explosion with the velocity and targeting of James. We have learned our lesson. We change diapers in a prepared state with a clean diaper underneath the soiled diaper, ready to be moved into the appropriate position if that sphincter so much as twitches funny.
Now, that's a poop story that even non-parents can appreciate. Same story, better build up and explosive climax. So, as a non-parent or parent, how do you feel regarding other people's kids poops? Never? Only when its well-told? Always up for a good pooper story? Please comment and let me know what you think.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Nice Weekend
Over the weekend, one tradition died. The Chapman's prime did not draw secret santas. Instead, the Chapman derivative 3631 did. This was a passing of the torch of kinds. But, I am still sad. That being said, while I can buy gifts for my siblings, honestly, they probably all (except Mary) have more disposable income than I do - so I am not sure what interesting gifts I could give anyways.
I am unsure how to handle the parenting thing with my kids regarding secret santas. James bought a hideous gift for his sister, Martha, and more importantly, I paid $15 for a bad gift. Good or bad? Not sure. Not sure it matters either.
So, I drew one of my daughters and not one of my siblings. While I am sad, I am also incredibly excited about having a new family tradition. I like seeing how my kid's brains work. In his quest for a gift, James let the excitement of the situation take over his reason. He knew the gift that he was buying for Martha was not the one that he wanted to get for her, but he seemed unable to separate the desire for giving a really good gift for buying something right now. I don't think that this a cultural problem. I think that this is probably more of an age issue and an inability to build patience. James, in particular, struggles with patience under buying pressure. His brother, Aidan, who is two years younger, is already a better, more patient shopper.
Surprisingly, we had a tremendous weekend. The boys played Civilization for a good portion of the weekend and the girls followed the adults around. I say surprisingly because almost every long weekend of this type leads to really bad behavior by about day three. Instead, the kids were actively helping on day four in the afternoon. Whatever we did this weekend really worked because all of the children were terrific.
I am unsure how to handle the parenting thing with my kids regarding secret santas. James bought a hideous gift for his sister, Martha, and more importantly, I paid $15 for a bad gift. Good or bad? Not sure. Not sure it matters either.
So, I drew one of my daughters and not one of my siblings. While I am sad, I am also incredibly excited about having a new family tradition. I like seeing how my kid's brains work. In his quest for a gift, James let the excitement of the situation take over his reason. He knew the gift that he was buying for Martha was not the one that he wanted to get for her, but he seemed unable to separate the desire for giving a really good gift for buying something right now. I don't think that this a cultural problem. I think that this is probably more of an age issue and an inability to build patience. James, in particular, struggles with patience under buying pressure. His brother, Aidan, who is two years younger, is already a better, more patient shopper.
Surprisingly, we had a tremendous weekend. The boys played Civilization for a good portion of the weekend and the girls followed the adults around. I say surprisingly because almost every long weekend of this type leads to really bad behavior by about day three. Instead, the kids were actively helping on day four in the afternoon. Whatever we did this weekend really worked because all of the children were terrific.
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